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Old 11-09-2009, 03:38 PM   #1
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Default Question: Is this Copy any good?

I am not a copywriter, and i never claimed to be ................so be brutally honest please.

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Do You Want To Generate A LifeTime of Great Income?
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Then This Course Will Teach You EveryThing You Need To Accomplish Your Goal
All For Less Than The Price of Tank Of Gas
Plus an Unheard of 365 Day, No Questions Asked Money Back Guarantee
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************************************************** ********
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************************************************** ************
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Like said , I hardly ever write copy, so please brutal honesty!! Oh and forget about the spacing thats just how it formatted for the post.

Thanks in advance

Frank

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Old 11-09-2009, 03:57 PM   #2
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Default Re: Question: Is this Copy any good?

You have grammatical errors...


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Old 11-10-2009, 05:22 PM   #3
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Default Re: Question: Is this Copy any good?

Anybody else want to weigh in on my "monstrosity" , aka, my copy from the first post.

Really need opinions........even if you think its crap.

thanks and peace

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Old 11-10-2009, 05:43 PM   #4
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Default Re: Question: Is this Copy any good?

Quote:
Originally Posted by TE2 View Post
You have grammatical errors...
@TE2. It would have been nice if you pointed out the errors


@FrankBowman: It looks ok to me, unless there's a mistake I'm not seeing.

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Old 11-10-2009, 05:46 PM   #5
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Default Re: Question: Is this Copy any good?

Quote:
Originally Posted by hhunt View Post
Why didn't you point out where the error are?
Your comments are not at all helpful if you ask me.


@FrankBowman: It looks ok to me, unless there's a mistake I'm not seeing.
Thanks hhunt, appreciate your opinion.

Peace

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Old 11-10-2009, 06:04 PM   #6
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Default Re: Question: Is this Copy any good?

Are you promoting a cpa offer?
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Old 11-10-2009, 06:09 PM   #7
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Default Re: Question: Is this Copy any good?

What are you using the copy for?

Zach
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Old 11-10-2009, 06:38 PM   #8
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Default Re: Question: Is this Copy any good?

Its an offline postcard.

First two are CPA, last one is clickbank.

I'll be adding graphics and colors.....

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Old 11-10-2009, 06:49 PM   #9
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Default Re: Question: Is this Copy any good?

Quote:
Originally Posted by FrankBowman View Post
I am not a copywriter, and i never claimed to be ................so be brutally honest please.

--------------------------------------------------------------------
New Jobs Available Now
Work From Home or Office
Establishing Marketing Millionaire
Shows You How To Do It
For Less Than A Trip To The Movies With Your Kids
And
You Get a 100% 90 Day Money Back Guarantee
No Risk Involved
Limited Time Offer
Visit:
www. xxxxxx.com
NOW Before Time Runs Out
Learn How Thousands of People From Corona to California Are Changing Their Lives For the Better
************************************************** ******
************************************************** ******

Do You Want To Generate A LifeTime of Great Income?
Sure You Do!!!!
But Do You Have What It Takes?
If You Think You Do,
Then This Course Will Teach You EveryThing You Need To Accomplish Your Goal
All For Less Than The Price of Tank Of Gas
Plus an Unheard of 365 Day, No Questions Asked Money Back Guarantee
***Go Now To***
www. xyz123. com
You’ll Never Succeed Unless You Try


************************************************** ********
************************************************** ********
Make Money Giving Your Opinion
Thousands of People are Earning Hundreds of $$$ Per DAY Completing Surveys Online
www bbbbbb.com
Learn How You Can Too!!!

************************************************** ************
************************************************** *************


Like said , I hardly ever write copy, so please brutal honesty!! Oh and forget about the spacing thats just how it formatted for the post.

Thanks in advance

Frank
Line 1. Is it a real job or a work at home business opportunity?
Line 3. Established

Denise
Sarongs4U
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Old 11-10-2009, 06:55 PM   #10
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Default Re: Question: Is this Copy any good?

Line 1: Work at home
Line 3: I know, its a first draft

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Old 11-10-2009, 06:58 PM   #11
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Default Re: Question: Is this Copy any good?

I think I should change it to:

Work at home jobs available now

I dont wanna be totally dishonest


Last edited by FrankBowman; 11-10-2009 at 06:59 PM. Reason: more info
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Old 11-19-2009, 09:14 AM   #12
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Default Re: Question: Is this Copy any good?

Quote:
Originally Posted by FrankBowman View Post
I think I should change it to:

Work at home jobs available now

I dont wanna be totally dishonest
I think this would be nice,if you write,
NOW YOU CAN EARN FROM HOME
OR
NOW YOU CAN WORK FROM HOME

Quote:
Make Money Giving Your Opinion
Thousands of People are Earning Hundreds of $$$ Per DAY Completing Surveys Online
www bbbbbb.com
Learn How You Can Too!!!
In second line you are telling thousands of people are earning hundreds then it is not much impressive than this
So Many People are Earning Hundreds of $$$ Per DAY Completing Surveys Online

ONLY SOME SUGGESTIONS.

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Old 11-19-2009, 01:37 PM   #13
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Default Re: Question: Is this Copy any good?

Quote:
Originally Posted by hhunt View Post
@TE2. It would have been nice if you pointed out the errors


@FrankBowman: It looks ok to me, unless there's a mistake I'm not seeing.
For example: "Establishing Marketing Millionaire"should be "Established Marketing Millionaire"


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