Can you critique of my landing page?

[BigV316]

We are very close to launching our first product and neither my partner or myself are copywriters. I need an honest assessment of what needs to be improved to make this page convert.

Thanks in advance

pottytraininganydog.com/pottytraining.php

[Easy Cash]

Why are you selling it for a dollar?

Why are there large gaps of blank white spaces?

Why is it called potty training for a dog? Do dogs use potties?

I thought only kids did.

You have this "Although the course is not quite finished,"

How can you expect to sell anything when you say that?

Finish it first.

[Diana22]

can you increase the content alittle?

[Diana22]

Originally Posted by Easy Cash

Why is it called potty training for a dog? Do dogs use potties?

I thought only kids did.

I think it's a great idea if it works.
If you live in a flat, or just don't have access to a garden then training your dog to use a potty could be quite useful.
Having said that, just think of all the lazy owners who stop walking there pooch! "stop barking, use ya potty!"

[BigV316]

Thanks for the critiques folks and keep them coming. We need all the help we can get. First of all you folks have enlightened me on a couple of glaring mistakes we made. The course is on house training or crate training not actually teaching a dog to go in the toilet. So we will get rid of the picture in the banner. The idea of potty training comes from my experience with my customers in my in home dog training business. Here in the U.S. people will refer to crate training or housebreaking as potty training even though they mean for the puppy to outside in the yard.
As far as content could you give me an idea of how much content I should include? My fear was that the page would end up getting too long and out of hand.
Thanks so much and please keep ripping this page until we get it right.

Vince

[WareTime]

Here's three quickies I saw

"potty training records database" database sounds technical, is this too hard? - readers may wonder that. I suggest making this a handy sheet to record your pet's activity vs making readers think they have to learn a database


"Three and a half hours of video" Do I really want to spend three and a half hours of my life watching this? - readers may think that. How about Simple Step By Step Videos


Here's a Vince with a word about the course
"This text will be replaced" I certainly hope so

[Easy Cash]

With regards to a landing page - don't simply add content to it for the sake of it.

Every word you write needs to hit the potential customer between the eyes - so to speak.

Let's take a look at your first line.

"If you could potty train your puppy or older dog right now, Would You?"

It seems like an obvious answer? Yes would be most people's answer I think.

Linking the first line with a frustration or emotional concern is a good way to grab a person's attention.

So your line might be;

" Are You Sick and Tired Of Cleaning Up Your Dog's Mess? Teach Your Dog To Go Outside -Right Now!"

You can se how this line is linking the buyer in with a common frustration.

The key to this is to test several lines using a tool like the Google Optimizer. Then you should do the same for the remainder of your page - takes a while but worth the effort.

[Bellamy]

I'd really try split testing the cost of the program with a higher amount. A lot of people will get to $1, and assume that the product will be of poor quality. You can offer it cheap, $5, $10, but one dollar is so low that my expectations are nil.

As I say, split test it, because you never know.

[BigV316]

Hi all

I have tried to incorporate what you folks have taught me into a new page. The only thing I have not done yet is re-edit the videos so that an image displays instead of the black screen. Here is what it looks like now.

commonsensedogtrainingcourse.com/page.php?id=5NS0IYWU

[steveweber]

Why are you selling it for a dollar? Because of perceived value, you'll have more takers at $17 or $27 probably. $1 makes it sound like it's not worth much.

[BigV316]

Originally Posted by steveweber

Why are you selling it for a dollar? Because of perceived value, you'll have more takers at $17 or $27 probably. $1 makes it sound like it's not worth much.

It's not being sold for a dollar it's a trial offer for a dollar. After the trial offer for $1 then then your charged $36 after the trial. I guess I need to make it clearer.

[BigV316]

By the way the course is viewable but NOT downloadable. The materials described are worksheets in pdf format and a records software. They will be able to download these materials but if they opt out the videos are not accessible.

[AffiliateUrge]

Not too terrible but a couple of things I suggest are:

1. Get a better design, for $150 you can get a minisite designer to create you a whole site, graphics, banners and all. That look great.

2. Get a copywriter, you will be get much better results.