Pls review this landing page

[Rajul kaushik]

Pls take a look at this new landing page I wish to use:
index

FYI, i own this co and want to use it for ppc / lead generation. Oxynet solution provides turnkey solutions for indoor air quality problems prevailing in all kinds of indoor spaces whether homes or offices, theatres or malls, hospitals or airports etc etc - any indoor space - even workshops and factories.

Kindly take a detailed look at it, the design and the content, headline etc and let me have your feedback.
Your suggestion on content, healine, look and fel will be highly appreciated. Thanks.

[OutOfThisWord]

Rajul...

...you are asking the reader to work to hard to try and find out what is being offered and why they should read further.

Your landing page must pass the three second rule, meaning the reader must quickly get hooked or they click next.

It seems like you've got some good reasons for people to listen to your offer, but they are buried.

Right now your landing page is like a bazaar where the reader is asked to mill about and maybe find a gem.

Most people will not invest the time, better you invest in constructing a good clear offer and piling on the benefits in a logical sales presentation.

Good luck!

[dzoaffiliate]

1. too much information.
2. Put the sign-up form ABOVE THE FOLD - which means the user does not need to scroll to fill out the form. I would put it right inside the blue area at the top! That graphic is useless. so put the blurb inside the blue area to the left and put the signup form in the blue area.
3. No offense but some of the copy is not correct grammatically. I would go to oDesk and get a North American or UK article writer to re-rewrite your copy. You do not need to get an expensive COPY WRITER.

basically a landing page should quickly identify a PAIN
and then offer a solution within a few seconds.

Remember ...
GIVE THEM WHAT THEY WANT ... BUT SELL THEM WHAT THEY NEED!