You try your best but nothing ever seems to work out OK. You seem to be somewhere between a rock and a hard place?
Take a long look at all you have achieved so far.
And what you want to achieve some time soon.
And figure out WHY. Why do you want so much? Like WHO is this for?
I'm guessing if you want a lot it's because there is someone very special in your life right now makes you feel like you want so much more!...