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My Writing Contest Entry

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Posted 13th August 2008 at 12:27 AM by peteinoz

After a long drive from Sydney to Gold Coast about 1000 k's a while ago, I got the outline for a book about Success.

So when I heard on the ABC Radio show, they were running a One Paragraph writing competition.

I had it in my mind ready to go..


Its a one paragraph competition with the title being

"First paragraph of the great australian novel."


Heres my entry below




David ran up really fast, Pete!! Pete!! Theres something at your place. Immediately I felt important! Nothing ever happens at my place. As I arrived I saw an ambulance, so exciting, I dropped my red scooter with its white blow up tyres and ran around the back and saw my mum crying, screaming, laying over my baby sister Tiffany. I went out to the street where a lot of people were gathering feeling very important. These thoughts come back to me on my birthday the night of the birth of my first daughter Tiffany. As I cry about the still born death of my daughter I still cry for the death of my sister not fully known.



feel free to leave a comment.

Cheers

Pete
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Comments

  1. New Comment
    Hey Pete,
    I couldn't help but be moved by your paragraph. It was fast paced, loaded with emotion, surprise and great sadness. I am sorry for your loss and cannot begin to imagine the connection you must have felt when you remembered your sister while celebrating and mourning your daughter on your birthday.

    I have a huge lump in my throat and sadness in my heart.

    Pam
    permalink
    Posted 3rd September 2008 at 09:32 PM by PamT PamT is offline
  2. New Comment
    peteinoz's Avatar
    Thanks Pam,



    Pete
    permalink
    Posted 3rd September 2008 at 09:43 PM by peteinoz peteinoz is offline
  3. New Comment
    wrcato2's Avatar
    Hey Pete,
    What a Tragedy. Being a Dad and brother myself, you have lived every parents and siblings nightmare. I am really sorry that you had to.

    While I was reading your paragraph, I couldn't help but feel sad. What makes it worse yet, is seeing your picture with your child. It really brings home your paragraph.

    I hope you win the contest Great Job.
    permalink
    Posted 20th December 2009 at 07:41 AM by wrcato2 wrcato2 is offline
  4. New Comment
    Peter Kay's Avatar
    Great word picture Pete
    permalink
    Posted 17th February 2012 at 12:23 PM by Peter Kay Peter Kay is offline
 


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