Can my WSO advert be improved?

peterachutha · 24th Oct 2014, 01:18 PM

I am not good at landing pages and have rewritten pages several times to try to improve them. I tried some copy writing techniques but still new at this.

Please give me some feedback as to how I can improve my conversion rate. This is my page : http://www.warriorforum.com/warrior-...y-hackers.html

Its an anti hacking software for WordPress and other websites.

Raydal · 27th Oct 2014, 11:58 AM

Some pointers here:

1. All the large blue fonts are not necessary. It look overdone.

2. Your REAL challenge though is that you are selling something
that people only worry about AFTER it has happened. People
generally don't buy prevention, they buy cures. So sell your
software as a CURE

3. There are free tools that [supposedly] do the same think so
you have to show what EXTRA your product has over these
free solution.

-Ray Edwards

peterachutha · 27th Oct 2014, 06:11 PM

Hi Complex,

Use a lot more fear in the headline. Tell me why I should be scared shitless about hackers and bad bots. Tell me how it could cause me to lose money. And all the work I sweated over. Drive home just how bad the situation could be.

Thanks for the advice I will try to reword the headline. I have been using blue a lot as it was clearer for me. I guess most people prefer back. I will change some of the text to black too.

Thanks
- Peter

peterachutha · 27th Oct 2014, 06:43 PM

Hi Raydal,

1. All the large blue fonts are not necessary. It look overdone.

2. Your REAL challenge though is that you are selling something
that people only worry about AFTER it has happened. People
generally don't buy prevention, they buy cures. So sell your
software as a CURE

3. There are free tools that [supposedly] do the same think so
you have to show what EXTRA your product has over these
free solution.

Thanks for your advice. I guess I must be going a little color blind as I find it easier to read in blue or it may be my school days when we were only allowed to use royal blue ink in our fountain pens. I will change them to black.

I never thought of that when I spent the last one and half years developing the product. Actually, I did not think that selling a cure was much easier than protection. I had always thought that selling prevention was easier then a cure. ... Probably that is why we have doctors making a lot of money and nutritionist lower down the income scale. ...On the other hand, the anti-aging and anti-oxidant market is a multi-billion dollar industry. ... Probably I should sell it as an anti-aging anti-oxidant 'cream' for websites

. Tough. Tough. I have to think of something quickly.

I know about the free tools and I have seen one complaint where the free WordPress plugin could not block hackers and the website got corrupted. After that Google search engine read the corrupted website to rank it in their search engine results. This complaint came from an SEO specialist while pushing his website to number 1 position in Google SERP. I don't think he made it to the number spot. Since that incident I began to doubt whether the free plugins are good at recovery (cure) too, as they claimed to be. No use trying to recover, its better to prevent. I guess I have to point this out in my page.

Thanks for the different points of view as I never thought of them.

Thanks,
Peter

savidge4 · 27th Oct 2014, 11:00 PM

I personally would consider changing the name of the product. I have an engineering degree I get it, but you are speaking to 1% when you want to reach 99%. Something like "Bot Stop" or "Access Denied" or "Bot Dominator" ( you get the idea )

You are very consistent with your writing, and unfortunately that is a bad thing. "I found out the hard way... Internet directories, top page listings, press releases " you are upfront saying these are bad things, THEN coming back and suggesting your product will help.

Flip the language a bit... "Do you have successful site that you have listed with a directory? Do you have a successful site that has page 1 SERP listing? Do you use Press releases? These are all positions and places that Bots attack!" "Installing Bot Dominator allows you to focus on further success of your site, and not having to worry about the influx of bot traffic from being successful."

It turns it from a mistake to an ego pet... Your customers are doing right, and you and your product are there to protect them.

Black text, your headlines can be blue if you like at that point. it creates the contrast in color and makes them pop.

You have a great product plain and simple. It would be worth your time and money to hire a copywriter. you should be making a killing with this offer and future affiliate sales. ( Yes your product is that good )

peterachutha · 28th Oct 2014, 02:59 AM

Hi savidge4,

Thanks for your comments.

I personally would consider changing the name of the product. I have an engineering degree I get it, but you are speaking to 1% when you want to reach 99%. Something like "Bot Stop" or "Access Denied" or "Bot Dominator" ( you get the idea )

You are right about the name. I found it a mouthful to pronounce but I was so focused on completing the product I forgot about changing the name to something more enticing. So I have to give that some thought as soon as possible.

Flip the language a bit... "Do you have successful site that you have listed with a directory? Do you have a successful site that has page 1 SERP listing? Do you use Press releases? These are all positions and places that Bots attack!" "Installing Bot Dominator allows you to focus on further success of your site, and not having to worry about the influx of bot traffic from being successful."

Looks like this is much better than what I have written. I think I will use a lot of your wording.

You have a great product plain and simple. It would be worth your time and money to hire a copywriter. you should be making a killing with this offer and future affiliate sales. ( Yes your product is that good )

Thanks for your comments. It started off as a nightmare as my sites (economics blog and a bread baking blog) were hacked until the servers were overloaded. On another occasions they were completely corrupted. Hackers were trying to log in into my site everyday. My web hosting tech support started to demand why my site CPU was very high. Visitors could not view my site. I was so frustrated that I almost decided to abandon everything and go find a real job. But in February 2013 I decided enough was enough and began learn PHP (I am an engineer and programmer) and do something about it. And the software development eventually evolved into this product.

So you can see I have very little copy writing experience as I spent most of my life hunched in front of a computer. Any idea how much a copy writer may charge?

Thanks,
Peter

savidge4 · 28th Oct 2014, 06:31 AM

Originally Posted by peterachutha

Hi savidge4,

Thanks for your comments.

You are right about the name. I found it a mouthful to pronounce but I was so focused on completing the product I forgot about changing the name to something more enticing. So I have to give that some thought as soon as possible.

Looks like this is much better than what I have written. I think I will use a lot of your wording.

Thanks for your comments. It started off as a nightmare as my sites (economics blog and a bread baking blog) were hacked until the servers were overloaded. On another occasions they were completely corrupted. Hackers were trying to log in into my site everyday. My web hosting tech support started to demand why my site CPU was very high. Visitors could not view my site. I was so frustrated that I almost decided to abandon everything and go find a real job. But in February 2013 I decided enough was enough and began learn PHP (I am an engineer and programmer) and do something about it. And the software development eventually evolved into this product.

So you can see I have very little copy writing experience as I spent most of my life hunched in front of a computer. Any idea how much a copy writer may charge?

Thanks,
Peter

Just to feed my own curiousity does dpa stand for "Differential Power Analysis"?

But anyways.. a decent copy writer on something like this you are looking to pay a couple to $400 would be my guess. You have all the data there, tho I would say in some cases it is in the wrong order, and the idea of the wording is there, so it should be a simple process.

You really are looking to have someone take the engineering sound out of it, and put the demand and urgency to buy into it. It really wouldn't hurt to have the back story in the copy either.

"Hi my name is Peter and I am the author / coder of Bot Dominator. This product came out of necessity, and a need to stop bad traffic from affecting my online business. I was continually dealing with my sites being hacked and my hosting providers questioning my server CPU usage. It got to the point that my 2 primary sites ( an Economics Blog and a Bread Baking Blog ) where rendered useless by Denial of Service Attacks.

In February 2013 I had finally had enough! It was going to be them or me, and being an Engineer and a Programmer I decided it was going to be them. Bot Dominator is the product of that drive and determination to level the playing field once and for all."

The above humanizes the geek in you... you have a bread blog. it also reinforces the likeness between you and your potential buyers. Your not some big company, you are a person just like they are.

The other piece of information that I would make pretty close to the top is what this will work with Wordpress, Joomla and CS-Cart sites.

Hope that Helps,

And really best of luck with this project.

peterachutha · 30th Oct 2014, 02:57 AM

Hi savidge4,

Just to feed my own curiousity does dpa stand for "Differential Power Analysis"?

Actually dpa stand s for "Dr. Peter Achutha". I was trying to make it into a brand name so that if anyone see a URL like www.dpa........ they could figure out that it was from me or my company .... sort of branding. But others have used the same 'dpa' term for their websites too.

I like your rewording of the paragraphs.

Thanks a lot for the help
- Peter

24th Oct 2014, 01:18 PM	#1
peterachutha Warrior Member Join Date: 2014 Location: Petaling Jaya, Malaysia Posts: 28 Thanks: 5 Thanked 19 Times in 17 Posts	Can my WSO advert be improved? Share on: I am not good at landing pages and have rewritten pages several times to try to improve them. I tried some copy writing techniques but still new at this. Please give me some feedback as to how I can improve my conversion rate. This is my page : http://www.warriorforum.com/warrior-...y-hackers.html Its an anti hacking software for WordPress and other websites.
	1. Protect Your WordPress Website from Hackers 2. PHP Cache, Contact Form, ... for your websites

27th Oct 2014, 11:58 AM	#2
Raydal Marketing Strategist War Room Member Join Date: 2003 Location: USVI, USA. Posts: 4,468 Thanks: 758 Thanked 3,341 Times in 1,627 Posts	Re: Can my WSO advert be improved? Share on: Some pointers here: 1. All the large blue fonts are not necessary. It look overdone. 2. Your REAL challenge though is that you are selling something that people only worry about AFTER it has happened. People generally don't buy prevention, they buy cures. So sell your software as a CURE 3. There are free tools that [supposedly] do the same think so you have to show what EXTRA your product has over these free solution. -Ray Edwards
	The most powerful and concentrated copywriting training online today bar none! Autoresponder Writing Email SECRETS [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

27th Oct 2014, 11:00 PM	#5
savidge4 Midnight Oil Warrior Join Date: 2013 Location: Bridgeport, WV. Posts: 6,736 Thanks: 3,531 Thanked 6,518 Times in 3,460 Posts	Re: Can my WSO advert be improved? Share on: I personally would consider changing the name of the product. I have an engineering degree I get it, but you are speaking to 1% when you want to reach 99%. Something like "Bot Stop" or "Access Denied" or "Bot Dominator" ( you get the idea ) You are very consistent with your writing, and unfortunately that is a bad thing. "I found out the hard way... Internet directories, top page listings, press releases " you are upfront saying these are bad things, THEN coming back and suggesting your product will help. Flip the language a bit... "Do you have successful site that you have listed with a directory? Do you have a successful site that has page 1 SERP listing? Do you use Press releases? These are all positions and places that Bots attack!" "Installing *Bot Dominator* allows you to focus on further success of your site, and not having to worry about the influx of bot traffic from being successful." It turns it from a mistake to an ego pet... Your customers are doing right, and you and your product are there to protect them. Black text, your headlines can be blue if you like at that point. it creates the contrast in color and makes them pop. You have a great product plain and simple. It would be worth your time and money to hire a copywriter. you should be making a killing with this offer and future affiliate sales. ( Yes your product is that good )