What would you change about my landing page?

BigWealthTeam · 17th Feb 2015, 12:55 PM

I'm curious to your guys feedback on my new landing page.
I usually try to get a 30-35% click to opt in ratio and have done that in the past but this page has some things I'm not crazy about.

Thoughts? Thanks guys! =)

http://tinyurl.com/k9f9phn

-Geoff

DWaters · 17th Feb 2015, 01:02 PM

I am not sure if I will be much help for the simple fact that I like it. I am not into forex so I cannot comment on the content. However I like the initial appearance, nice background picture. I also like how the opt-in form on the right stays there even if you scroll down.

Perhaps there is too much content ??? It is often said that simple squeeze pages work best. Or perhaps the appeal of "view live verified statements" is not enough (that means nothing to me).

tahir100 · 17th Feb 2015, 01:48 PM

I agree with that. Your page appears to be too busy...content heavy. Rule of thumb is that your squeeze page should not contain more than 50 words to achieve best results.

RealCasher · 17th Feb 2015, 11:17 PM

Nice looking page, and nice floating optin box.

The opt in technique that works for me is to provide as little as required exciting content, don't say everything on the page, make an incentive for people to opting and find out more of what you have to say.

joelraitt · 17th Feb 2015, 11:46 PM

Honestly, in the first 2 seconds all I thought to myself was scam....im sure others think the same

savidge4 · 18th Feb 2015, 02:23 AM

Originally Posted by BigWealthTeam

I'm curious to your guys feedback on my new landing page.
I usually try to get a 30-35% click to opt in ratio and have done that in the past but this page has some things I'm not crazy about.

So what exactly are you not crazy about? I could list some things I am not crazy about...

all of your top navigation pulls a pop up ( cheesy ) THE SAME POP UP
your video auto plays ( I am not a fan of this myself )
your numbers don't add up is it 1400% or 14000%?
better yet looking you up, is it 1400% or 336.77%?
the footer nav is pointed to the same pop up...including "Disclaimer"
the "tense" of your writing is off in a few places IE "We have engineered elite proprietary trading systems in order to generate consistent long-term success on behalf of their clients."
All of these things add to loosing credibility and trust.

You might want to look at: http://www.warriorforum.com/conversi...ing-pages.html and understand lost trust is hard to make up for.

I could go on further with points if you would like, but there are many subtle things not working for you.

BigWealthTeam · 18th Feb 2015, 03:17 PM

Thanks guys, keep it coming!
BTW - The images are temporary. So that's why that doesn't make sense.

Jarvis Edwards · 25th Feb 2015, 08:57 PM

I'm not familiar with Forex at all, but by looking at your landing page, from a copywriting standpoint, here are some suggestions:

1.) Try replacing this line: "Fortress Fund is The Leading  FOREX Program in the WORLD."

With this:

"An Account Starting with $10,000 Has Made OVER $115,000 VERIFIED REAL MONEY PROFIT THIS YEAR!

Also, keep in mind that "...made over $115,000 verified real money profit" doesn't necessarily sound trustworthy. Perhaps change that to: "....made over $115,000 verified profit in 2015.."

Under your headline, you should recap the main highlights included in your video sales letter, otherwise you may lose the people who don't watch the video. When I scroll down the page to look at what comes after the video, there is nothing compelling that "grabs" me and makes me want to keep reading.

2.) Could you perhaps place your bullet point of benefits higher up on the page, closer to the headline/video?

There is ZERO upfront cost to trade & profit with Fortress Fund.
We Only Charge a 12% Performance Fee Strictly On Profits Made To Your Account.
Your Account is Held and Traded Securely At a Well-Respected FX Brokerage. Your Account is Linked to Our Traders for TRADE-ONLY Access.
You May Withdraw or Cancel Trading At Any Time, with The Simple Click of a Button.

3.) Also, could you include more benefit-driven bullet points?

What you've included is decent, but I would imagine the benefits pointed out on your landing page, are no different than what other companies/websites may be offering.

You want to highlight things about your offering that makes the visitor/reader think: "this is a no-brainer, I'll lose out on money/freedom/happiness (etc..) if I don't sign up now!

Here are a couple 'benefits-driven' highlights as an example:

Savvy investors who aren't risk averse, commonly earn above average returns.
Elite proprietary trading algorithm is proven to generate long-term success for our clients.

BinaryEoDSignals · 27th Feb 2015, 09:05 AM

Originally Posted by BigWealthTeam

I'm curious to your guys feedback on my new landing page.
I usually try to get a 30-35% click to opt in ratio and have done that in the past but this page has some things I'm not crazy about.

Thoughts? Thanks guys! =)

http://tinyurl.com/k9f9phn

-Geoff

Hi, looks good to me.I won't change any thing there

redyellowgreensquare · 27th Feb 2015, 10:35 AM

1. Lose the auto play.
2. The content beneath it looks gimmicky, salesy and doesn't promote trust in your brand
2a. Keep copy size the same (for the most part)
2b. Use the same font
2c. Try using just one coluour (maybe two)
(Nice post on copy and usability here: Content Marketing and Conversion Rate Optimisation | Inbound Marketing Agency Blog | Browser Media)
3. The grammar used in your quick form is poor and doesn't promote trust in your brand
4. Why do you need a phone number to send someone a link? Users might not want to give you this info
5. Test the language you're using. As DWaters admits above, I don't know anything about your productm, but reading your copy has not enlightened me whatsoever.

Best of luck!

seohacker · 27th Feb 2015, 07:30 PM

I'd definitely think of a redesign. It has to scream out trust and authority on the first two seconds - and right now, it's not doing that.

Alohapreneur · 6th Mar 2015, 09:38 PM

This working is really confusing! "Get the Link to our MyFXBook & Information How to LINK your Trading Account NOW..." You've got to change that because it makes no sense to me. If I can't understand the value immediately with one quick glance, then why would I click it or give you my info?

princy91 · 20th Mar 2015, 04:12 AM

The font color and font style of the page is very eye catching, design a landing page that is impressive to the visitors.

sameera · 20th Mar 2015, 07:54 AM

There are many things that needs to be change in your landing page. The user need to think that for which purpose the page has been created for There are many things missing according to conversion point of view. Here are few suggestions for landing page:-
> You can increase users' attention by telling advantages and features of your product or service rather than doing self praise.
> Create a well planned architecture which completely describes your services.
> You can add few elements in your landing page that help visitors in finishing their intended task.

Landing Page works on two principles:-
> Finding what works well for your page and doing it frequently.
> Finding what is not working for landing page and eradicate it.

talfighel · 20th Mar 2015, 09:57 AM

If you are trying to get a bigger opt in rate, I would take off the video and also there is just too much content below the video. Your visitors should not be able to scroll down the page to read all the text.

Jonathan Smith · 21st Mar 2015, 06:59 PM

Originally Posted by BigWealthTeam

I'm curious to your guys feedback on my new landing page.
I usually try to get a 30-35% click to opt in ratio and have done that in the past but this page has some things I'm not crazy about.

Thoughts? Thanks guys! =)

http://tinyurl.com/k9f9phn

-Geoff

TOOOO much red in the head.

17th Feb 2015, 12:55 PM	#1
BigWealthTeam Active Warrior War Room Member Join Date: 2007 Location: , , . Posts: 40 Thanks: 2 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	What would you change about my landing page? Share on: I'm curious to your guys feedback on my new landing page. I usually try to get a 30-35% click to opt in ratio and have done that in the past but this page has some things I'm not crazy about. Thoughts? Thanks guys! =) http://tinyurl.com/k9f9phn -Geoff

17th Feb 2015, 01:02 PM	#2
DWaters Senior Warrior Member Join Date: 2010 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 1,361 Thanks: 840 Thanked 460 Times in 381 Posts	Re: What would you change about my landing page? Share on: I am not sure if I will be much help for the simple fact that I like it. I am not into forex so I cannot comment on the content. However I like the initial appearance, nice background picture. I also like how the opt-in form on the right stays there even if you scroll down. Perhaps there is too much content ??? It is often said that simple squeeze pages work best. Or perhaps the appeal of "view live verified statements" is not enough (that means nothing to me).
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17th Feb 2015, 01:48 PM	#3
tahir100 Active Warrior War Room Member Join Date: 2012 Location: UK Posts: 92 Thanks: 23 Thanked 16 Times in 15 Posts Blog Entries: 1	Re: What would you change about my landing page? Share on: I agree with that. Your page appears to be too busy...content heavy. Rule of thumb is that your squeeze page should not contain more than 50 words to achieve best results.

17th Feb 2015, 11:17 PM	#4
RealCasher Next Goal: $1 Million Join Date: 2015 Posts: 459 Thanks: 11 Thanked 94 Times in 88 Posts	Re: What would you change about my landing page? Share on: Nice looking page, and nice floating optin box. The opt in technique that works for me is to provide as little as required exciting content, don't say everything on the page, make an incentive for people to opting and find out more of what you have to say.
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17th Feb 2015, 11:46 PM	#5
joelraitt Master Warrior Join Date: 2009 Location: Kelowna, BC Posts: 587 Thanks: 1 Thanked 227 Times in 104 Posts	Re: What would you change about my landing page? Share on: Honestly, in the first 2 seconds all I thought to myself was scam....im sure others think the same
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18th Feb 2015, 03:17 PM	#7
BigWealthTeam Active Warrior War Room Member Join Date: 2007 Location: , , . Posts: 40 Thanks: 2 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: What would you change about my landing page? Share on: Thanks guys, keep it coming! BTW - The images are temporary. So that's why that doesn't make sense.

25th Feb 2015, 08:57 PM	#8
Jarvis Edwards Hyperactive Copywriter Join Date: 2011 Location: Inland Empire, Southern California Posts: 199 Thanks: 12 Thanked 58 Times in 41 Posts	Re: What would you change about my landing page? Share on: I'm not familiar with Forex at all, but by looking at your landing page, from a copywriting standpoint, here are some suggestions: 1.) Try replacing this line: "Fortress Fund is The Leading  FOREX Program in the WORLD." With this: "An Account Starting with $10,000 Has Made OVER $115,000 VERIFIED REAL MONEY PROFIT THIS YEAR! Also, keep in mind that "...made over $115,000 verified real money profit" doesn't necessarily sound trustworthy. Perhaps change that to: "....made over $115,000 verified profit in 2015.." Under your headline, you should recap the main highlights included in your video sales letter, otherwise you may lose the people who don't watch the video. When I scroll down the page to look at what comes after the video, there is nothing compelling that "grabs" me and makes me want to keep reading. 2.) Could you perhaps place your bullet point of benefits higher up on the page, closer to the headline/video? There is ZERO upfront cost to trade & profit with Fortress Fund. We Only Charge a 12% Performance Fee Strictly On Profits Made To Your Account. Your Account is Held and Traded Securely At a Well-Respected FX Brokerage. Your Account is Linked to Our Traders for TRADE-ONLY Access. You May Withdraw or Cancel Trading At Any Time, with The Simple Click of a Button. 3.) Also, could you include more benefit-driven bullet points? What you've included is decent, but I would imagine the benefits pointed out on your landing page, are no different than what other companies/websites may be offering. You want to highlight things about your offering that makes the visitor/reader think: "this is a no-brainer, I'll lose out on money/freedom/happiness (etc..) if I don't sign up now! Here are a couple 'benefits-driven' highlights as an example: Savvy investors who aren't risk averse, commonly earn above average returns. Elite proprietary trading algorithm is proven to generate long-term success for our clients.
	Jarvis Edwards - Copywriter & Marketer

27th Feb 2015, 10:35 AM	#10
redyellowgreensquare Warrior Member Join Date: 2015 Posts: 22 Thanks: 0 Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts	Re: What would you change about my landing page? Share on: 1. Lose the auto play. 2. The content beneath it looks gimmicky, salesy and doesn't promote trust in your brand 2a. Keep copy size the same (for the most part) 2b. Use the same font 2c. Try using just one coluour (maybe two) (Nice post on copy and usability here: Content Marketing and Conversion Rate Optimisation \| Inbound Marketing Agency Blog \| Browser Media) 3. The grammar used in your quick form is poor and doesn't promote trust in your brand 4. Why do you need a phone number to send someone a link? Users might not want to give you this info 5. Test the language you're using. As DWaters admits above, I don't know anything about your productm, but reading your copy has not enlightened me whatsoever. Best of luck!

27th Feb 2015, 07:30 PM	#11
seohacker Active Warrior Join Date: 2010 Location: PH Posts: 61 Thanks: 0 Thanked 13 Times in 12 Posts	Re: What would you change about my landing page? Share on: I'd definitely think of a redesign. It has to scream out trust and authority on the first two seconds - and right now, it's not doing that.
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6th Mar 2015, 09:38 PM	#12
Alohapreneur MasterMarketingConsultant Join Date: 2013 Location: North America, Earth, Sol, Laniakea Posts: 12 Thanks: 1 Thanked 14 Times in 3 Posts	Re: What would you change about my landing page? Share on: This working is really confusing! "Get the Link to our MyFXBook & Information How to LINK your Trading Account NOW..." You've got to change that because it makes no sense to me. If I can't understand the value immediately with one quick glance, then why would I click it or give you my info?
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20th Mar 2015, 04:12 AM	#13
princy91 HyperActive Warrior Join Date: 2015 Posts: 154 Thanks: 2 Thanked 16 Times in 16 Posts	Re: What would you change about my landing page? Share on: The font color and font style of the page is very eye catching, design a landing page that is impressive to the visitors.
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20th Mar 2015, 07:54 AM	#14
sameera Active Warrior Join Date: 2014 Posts: 95 Thanks: 6 Thanked 11 Times in 11 Posts	Re: What would you change about my landing page? Share on: There are many things that needs to be change in your landing page. The user need to think that for which purpose the page has been created for There are many things missing according to conversion point of view. Here are few suggestions for landing page:- > You can increase users' attention by telling advantages and features of your product or service rather than doing self praise. > Create a well planned architecture which completely describes your services. > You can add few elements in your landing page that help visitors in finishing their intended task. Landing Page works on two principles:- > Finding what works well for your page and doing it frequently. > Finding what is not working for landing page and eradicate it.
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20th Mar 2015, 09:57 AM	#15
talfighel VIP Warrior War Room Member Join Date: 2004 Location: Ontario, Canada. Posts: 6,896 Thanks: 168 Thanked 1,535 Times in 1,249 Posts	Re: What would you change about my landing page? Share on: If you are trying to get a bigger opt in rate, I would take off the video and also there is just too much content below the video. Your visitors should not be able to scroll down the page to read all the text.
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