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Unread 18th Feb 2015, 07:10 PM   #1
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How to improve my conversation rate?
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Feedback on my website please...

I am looking for feedback on my website as a splash page to covert to amazon. I need help making it convert better. Please check it out and give me feedback. I'm very new to the whole idea of a splash page.
..
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Unread 18th Feb 2015, 10:43 PM   #2
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this is a tough one. There a lot of little things here and there within the 2 pages you provided. you were born with 7 life threatening heart conditions. you have won numerous awards. you are the founder of Literary Journal of Flash Fiction and Nonfiction - This Very Breath Journal.

Your work, your medical history, your obvious desire to write, your passion, your NEED to be heard is worth far more than a 1 page website, and a sales page on Amazon, and a 3 page literary flash journal project.

I understand your story is played out over and over In your eyes. You probably want to stand separate from your story. You want your work to stand on its own. I get it. But there is a reason for your words. Words will forever connect us to our past. Words will forever be written about our dreams To truly connect with YOUR words.. I need to know the journey. I want to know what has driven you, and drives you today to do what you are doing. WHERE do these words come from? WHY do you write?

Some of the best selling is story telling. YOU have a story to tell, and from THAT, you will sell your books, get more downloads, turn your literary flash journal project into a living legacy.

Don't for one second think you are USING your past... you LIVED your past.. It is YOURS and only yours. Share your past, and dream for a greater future.

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Unread 19th Feb 2015, 07:56 AM   #3
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Savidge4, Can you be more specific on how I do that or tell my story?
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Unread 19th Feb 2015, 10:41 PM   #4
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Savidge4 is right. You should tell your story.

You should have a standalone page that tells your story. From there you can sell more of your book. It doesn't have to tell EVERYthing, as that would defeat the purpose.

Think about your audience's main motivation in reading your books. Most probably, it's curiosity + sympathy. I'm sorry if I'm being rather blunt here, but if you want to make your page convert better, you need to understand your audience better.

How do you evoke curiosity in your audience? How do you make it irresistible for your audience to pick your book up?

One way is something like this:

Until That Night...

That's just an example. But you get the idea.

Hope that helps.


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Unread 20th Feb 2015, 04:04 AM   #5
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Originally Posted by dwall View Post

Savidge4, Can you be more specific on how I do that or tell my story?
We are in the CRO sub-forum, and one of the most important elements to create conversions is the Unique Selling Perspective ( USP ) Your story is YOUR USP. Like I stated in the earlier post.. its there I can see glimpses of it. Editorial reviews like:

"Daniel Wallock captures the pain and beauty of adolescence, of first love, of encountering death too young, but surviving. His maturity is astounding. I cannot wait to see what this talented young writer does next." --Susannah Cahalan, Writer at New York Post and New York Times Bestselling author of Brain on Fire

And reading: "Daniel Wallock was born with seven life-threatening heart conditions and dreams of sharing his life story and inspiring others to love life!"

or this: "Born with several congenital heart defects including having his heart on the right side of his chest, Daniel Wallock never thought he'd find somebody who'd understand all he'd been through in his 16 years... until a whirlwind two-week romance opened his eyes. This memoir from this Santa Barbara resident will touch your heart."--Ted Mills, Santa Barbara News Press


And then this one from Mario: "Daniel Wallock has two gifts; his survival and his writing."

let me put that in here one more time:

"Daniel Wallock has two gifts; his survival and his writing."


These are all words from your CRITICS, your PEERS and more importantly your READERS. They have read your book, and the message the convey is consistent. I have NOT read your book, and without piecing all of these things together, I wouldn't know you aren't some snobby 18 yr old smart alleck,

I have spent some time and looked, your writing comes from a point of reflection, from a point of inner growth, from a point of understanding life as many know it, in a way that many may never understand.

This stuff should not be kind of there, it should be front and center.

Ask yourself this... why do you write? You are obviously driven to do so look at all of the awards you have gotten.

I bet you almost think its no big deal. I will bet on a daily basis, day in and day out month in and month out year in and year out I write WAY more than you. and I have not 1 award to show for it. - that stuff is a big deal.

It is what we call in internet marketing "Social Proof" and you have tons of it. I have tons of articles about Ultra High def tvs and skinny jeans and soccer and SEO and CRO and Halloween and this and the and the other, my social proof is facebook likes.

I am seriously not in any way trying to belittle your success, I am trying to show you the contrast in where you are in the literary world, and where some content factory guy like me stands.

YOU do this: "The author writes from his heart and his writing is so moving and genuine that I cried when I read the book"

ME.. I try to get people to buy stuff they don't need.

I am so rambling right now.... the secret to your success is in YOU. How you got to where you are today, and what drives you to do what you are doing. THAT is the message that will increase your downloads, and your sales.

Hope that Helps!

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Unread 20th Feb 2015, 11:00 AM   #6
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Your saying to sell a story, not a product? Make my website tell my story, then link to book? Can you say it very simply, what you think I should be doing?
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Unread 20th Feb 2015, 03:11 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by dwall View Post

Your saying to sell a story, not a product? Make my website tell my story, then link to book? Can you say it very simply, what you think I should be doing?
LOL sounds crazy right? Ok terms you understand. your story. A Bio if you will. This bio is going to go over your struggles, your challenge, your success' why you write... we all know to some extent you are writing to do 1 of 2 things escape from where you are, OR to express the emotion of where you are. I don't have a kindle so I personally cant tell you which - im going to guess the later.

People are going to read this and CONNECT with you. They will understand that by reading YOUR books they will connect with you more. and they will see the world from a prospective like their own, but without question different. An example... you wrote about teenage love and heartbreak and made someone CRY. YOUR words manifested physical emotion and tears... that's power beyond belief. Your words connected with that reader and it appears many others on such a level - each and every one of them will probably read every word you ever write.

So how does this sell books? Like I keep saying it will create a connection between you and your potential readers. It very quickly separates you from most every author. your perspective is going to be different. People LOVE different. They don't want what they have.. they want something else.. you by nature of your history have that "Something else" built in.

I am going to be honest here. I dont read all that much, but I write a lot. but my writing and yours is totally different. You seriously are at a place that is far beyond what I could say I normally deal with. I will assume you are going to College? Is there a professor there that you could speak with? Do you have a Older fellow writer that has said something like "If you ever need anything contact me?"

I would suggest reaching out to a fellow writer, or a trusted professor, and try and work out this bio. If you look at say Stephen Kings bio on his site... its sucks really.. on this day..on that day ..in this year.. its terrible actually... your bio needs to be less about the facts and more about the story. a CRAFTED written piece.

Seriously... You need anything let me know... need me to try and clarify more..I can try LOL

Hope that Helps!

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Unread 21st Feb 2015, 12:18 AM   #8
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DWall,

I noticed in another Sub-Forum, you were asking about single page ( Parallax ) design. Maybe using that concept it may be easier to lay out for you what this all would look like.

So the top section should focus on your most recent work. In this case we are talking about "A Cliff over Blue" Picture if you will a full screen image with your book cover. the title of the book in the upper right.. then the 4 Editorial reviews flashing in on the blue sky one at a time. fading in and out... would be sweet. Below all of this would be your book text... and the link to purchase.

Next section would be the "Stay in touch" section.. join the newsletter. give them an idea how often you will send them something weekly? bi-weekly? Give them a reason to join. An unpublished poem or short story in every edition - something like that.

Next is going to be the about the Author text. THIS is the story telling... your Bio... the emotional connection

Small sliver section introduce connecting with you via social

Next section is going to be your 5 books? are there more? I would lay them out in a 2x2 grid. Book cover image. brief description and lay out the pricing as seen on Amazon. Paper back price download price and Kindle Unlimited. Of course the nice call to action button... "Download Your Copy Now". In the remaining open spot, I would place that to the lower right, and reinforce the opt in for your mailing list there again. ( you would want to try and create a border for this in the color of the TOP image color of blue.

Next section. talk about your "This very Breath Journal" project. why you started it, what it means to you. Invite people to join your community.

Next I would present your "Awards" much in the same manor as on commerce sites that have seals for Secure site and SSL - basically a more visual representation of your awards.. not a word list of them, if that makes sense

and on the bottom, I would include probably in a 3 column display testimonials and reviews in each of the 3 blocks I have the images slide through 2 or 3 each.

Ok so there is the basic layout I would "Suggest" This becomes a central point of contact.

What this layout is doing is creating in focusing on top, your most recent work. next we are trying to convert these page readers to your newsletter. then you are presenting YOUR story. Giving that look into your perspective of life and your writing. Next we hit social proof. THEN is your sales aspect. They are connected to you at this point. they will buy. Then introduce them to your personal project to sharing your desire to write with others. and we then end in the more "Professional" social proof.

I noticed on yet another Sub Forum, you were asking where to get your work seen... that type of stuff is fine, but you start spreading your efforts thin. Having a CORE website that goes over who you are and what you are doing, and displays your work, and hi-lights your efforts will make your Promotional Life easier.

All of your social efforts. your other websites, your amazon account. your business cards your forum signatures anything and everything should be pointing at this site. your JOB becomes promoting your work, and YOUR site. - instead of running here and there and everywhere trying to keep up and communicate in all of these different places.

Is that clearer?

Hope that Helps!

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Unread 21st Feb 2015, 07:33 AM   #9
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:sigh:

Yet another copywriting thread posted in the CRO forum.

@dwall,

Sorry to be critical, but you know there is a more appropriate forum for questions about your copywriting skills, it can be found here: Copywriting

Since you posted this thread in the CRO forum, please allow me to ask "What efforts have you made to begin the CRO process?" You know CRO might just help you sell your book, but you did not ask any questions related to CRO, instead you asked for a website critique. Asking for people, other than your customers, to critique your website is not CRO.

CRO is a process of implementing a system of measuring user engagement, analyzing data to gain insights, conducting content experiments, analyzing data from experiments and implementing changes based on the data gathered. It is data driven decision making, not asking for critiques on website design and copywriting, we have other boards here for that.

Now, if you have any questions regarding CRO, I, and I'm sure others would be happen to try and answer them. Otherwise you should ask a moderator to move your thread to the more appropriate copywriting forum.

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Unread 21st Feb 2015, 02:14 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by dburk View Post

:sigh:

Yet another copywriting thread posted in the CRO forum.
dburk,

I honestly do value your opinion when you give one. IF you have read this thread you will see that I have tried to keep this discussion within the realm of CRO. One of the MOST IMPORTANT conversations you can have with a CRO client is about USP. USP is about as CRO as it gets.

What I personally find in my day to day dealing with clients, is I spend a good amount of time in getting their site structure to a point to actually begin testing. if you start testing crap, you will only get crap results.

CRO at its CORE is testing and determining better results from a good foundation. without that foundation to work with, and all of the BASIC elements in place, there is no base to even start. I turn down clients just short of daily... #1 there is not enough traffic. #2 the UI / UX sucks and they are not willing to change. #3 Their USP sucks and they are not willing to change. #4 The thought that their site / page writing isn't the issue, it must be the color of their buttons. ( I seriously hear this a lot )

Read my last post before this one. you will see I have laid out a simple structure that has all of the needed elements to create conversion. all of the things we discuss in this very forum ( according to you from time to time ) There is USP, there is CTA, there is Social Proof. ALL elements of CRO.

( Sorry to say this dwall ) but look at the original variation and it simply blows. no headlines. no social proof. no testimonials. no USP. There are calls to actions I guess but we all know they SUCK. There is literally no sense in testing and trying to make that work better... it simply needs to be re-structured and re-done, to give the science we call CRO a chance.. the ability to do what it is supposed to, and that is create SUCCESS.

So you call it copywriting.. I call it CRO from the ground up.

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Unread 21st Feb 2015, 04:32 PM   #11
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Hi savidge4,

My comments were primarily addressed to dwall, in regard to the most appropriate forum for website critiques in regard to copywriting.

While I believe we are in agreement about the importance of a well written USP, I do regard that as a copywriting task. Of course we can test various USPs as part of CRO, however I did not notice any discussion regarding CRO techniques or methods, just copywriting and page layout topics, without CRO processes being implemented, or discussed.

In my opinion, the difference between CRO and copywriting is testing, measuring, analyzing data, etc. And while we can discuss best practice for website design, and copywriting, if they are not discussed within the context of testing, measuring, and analyzing data, then it isn't a CRO topic. And while it could be a CRO topic if it was being discussed in that context, often it is not.

The point of my critique is related to the lack of discussion of CRO, not only in this particular thread, but many threads as of late. I think it would be nice if we keep the threads in the proper board as it makes for a more useful forum.

This could be an awesome forum topic if we can just get folks in here to talk about CRO.

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Unread 21st Feb 2015, 05:02 PM   #12
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Hey there dburk,

Don't get me wrong here I agree it would be great to have CRO related discussion.. but that happens oh once a week?

If you look specifically at the OP.. he asked the right question in the right forum. I went to look at what was there, and found as I see it as basic foundation lack. Changing the text on the buttons was not going to help. adding a headline probably not going to help.

In MY writing I did not say hey you need to develop a USP right off the bat. I did make mention that what the bio text is, is USP later.

I have read your blanket this belongs elsewhere statement a few times. I personally am actually trying to correlate what I consider CRO in the terms of developing a solid foundation to actual start testing from. I strongly believe a poor foundation will only deliver poor results.

Starting from a place of "Best practices" to start with changes the dynamic of testing in the long run. looking at the OP's original page we could say try this layout ( as posted above ) vs the original one. but seriously is there a need to go there? the new layout will perform better.

The new suggested layout then is a solid platform to start testing. Parallax in particular to this case is a great choice for a few reasons. it gives you the ability to quickly and easily move element segments up and down in correlation to each other. Again testing the best configuration to optimize Trust, and conversions. Then the implementation of what are sort of the cornerstones of CRO testing, the testimonials, the social ( and in this case at 2 levels the professional social - and the more common social platform social ) a USP, headlines etc.

So being someone that comes from a long history in site development, and then migrating to CRO, I really focus on UI / UX up front, and then work towards the specific element ideals after. Greatest impact and change first, most minute and minimal changes last is the flow that I tend to follow in my CRO practices.


Originally Posted by dburk View Post

Hi savidge4,

My comments were primarily addressed to dwall, in regard to the most appropriate forum for website critiques in regard to copywriting.

While I believe we are in agreement about the importance of a well written USP, I do regard that as a copywriting task. Of course we can test various USPs as part of CRO, however I did not notice any discussion regarding CRO techniques or methods, just copywriting and page layout topics, without CRO processes being implemented, or discussed.

In my opinion, the difference between CRO and copywriting is testing, measuring, analyzing data, etc. And while we can discuss best practice for website design, and copywriting, if they are not discussed within the context of testing, measuring, and analyzing data, then it isn't a CRO topic. And while it could be a CRO topic if it was being discussed in that context, often it is not.

The point of my critique is related to the lack of discussion of CRO, not only in this particular thread, but many threads as of late. I think it would be nice if we keep the threads in the proper board as it makes for a more useful forum.

This could be an awesome forum topic if we can just get folks in here to talk about CRO.

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Unread 21st Feb 2015, 05:49 PM   #13
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Hi savidge4,

I like that you are taking this thread in the direction of CRO, we are now actually talking about CRO for a change, that is cool. That was the intent of my reply to dwall, it's a shame that dwall has not yet joined in on the CRO discussion.

Again, I agree on the importance of UX, especially as it relates to CRO, I just want to encourage all folks reading and posting in this CRO board to focus on topics that are related directly to the process we call CRO.

Discussing content that might need improvement, in some contexts could relate to CRO, and in other contexts it does not directly relate to the data driven decision making process. The distinction, in my opinion, is CRO is data driven. Discussions outside the context of data driven decisions are technically, in my opinion, not CRO.

After many years of practicing CRO for clients I have learned to separate opinion from data, and consider it an important discipline for anyone that wants to practice CRO, or marketing, as a profession. That doesn't mean I do not have opinions, and I certainly could list many things that should be improved on the website in question, in my opinion. However, if we can influence just one person a week to stop using their opinion and start using data, we can not only help with the current iteration of their website content, we could actually set them on a path to practicing CRO which might actually be life altering for those that see the light.

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Unread 21st Feb 2015, 06:56 PM   #14
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dburk whats up?

I think you and I are agreeing for the most part. I think the issue within this forum, is people understand what the end result of CRO is, just not the process. "How do I make my site convert better" is without question the biggest question asked. People do not want to hear - test and find out LOL.. hence you and I have jobs / careers.

There simply is a not so fine line that you or I or most anyone with any amount of experience with just web design will know if something stands a chance at converting, or even worth spending the time to make the changes to make it convert. Its not even a point of opinion, its a given.

I have a client RIGHT NOW I am working with that has / had a page with "sign up now" and 2 text entry boxes. Epic fail from the get go. THAT was their squeeze page. This job no longer entails "fixing" the poor performing page, it takes a step back and looks how the traffic got there. it takes a step further back to see what the overall USP is. and it is error after error after error.

The chain of SMALL conversions ending in the financial conversion at the end is critical to look at from start to finish.

in the OP's case... look at the starting point and then look at the end buy page.. his amazon page, and you will see it is all the same stuff, just short of the same text, the same information the same the same the same. Look at the product descriptions... "His first poetry book..... awards he has won...." There is literally NOTHING there specifically about the product.. oh wait.. its a poetry book.

The kid can apparently write his ass off... but doesn't know how to sell. I will absolutely give the kid credit. He started a website question on the website sub forum. he started a question how to get in front of more people on the main forum. he started this thread, how to convert better.

Take all of that into consideration as a WHOLE.... and what is it? its CRO. The technical industry terms may not be there.. the exact concepts may not be there... but the overall goal and elements that we test daily.. they are all there.

Originally Posted by dburk View Post

Hi savidge4,

I like that you are taking this thread in the direction of CRO, we are now actually talking about CRO for a change, that is cool. That was the intent of my reply to dwall, it's a shame that dwall has not yet joined in on the CRO discussion.

Again, I agree on the importance of UX, especially as it relates to CRO, I just want to encourage all folks reading and posting in this CRO board to focus on topics that are related directly to the process we call CRO.

Discussing content that might need improvement, in some contexts could relate to CRO, and in other contexts it does not directly relate to the data driven decision making process. The distinction, in my opinion, is CRO is data driven. Discussions outside the context of data driven decisions are technically, in my opinion, not CRO.

After many years of practicing CRO for clients I have learned to separate opinion from data, and consider it an important discipline for anyone that wants to practice CRO, or marketing, as a profession. That doesn't mean I do not have opinions, and I certainly could list many things that should be improved on the website in question, in my opinion. However, if we can influence just one person a week to stop using their opinion and start using data, we can not only help with the current iteration of their website content, we could actually set them on a path to practicing CRO which might actually be life altering for those that see the light.

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Unread 28th Feb 2015, 11:37 AM   #15
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Well I decided to start a blog - this shall probably increase conversations
My blog will track my progress as a writer and also just a general posts about how I'm trying to slowly create the life of my dreams and better myself. http://www.danielwallock.com/blog/
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Unread 28th Feb 2015, 01:09 PM   #16
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Hi dwall,

That's a great idea for promoting your book sales.

If you ever decide to learn to use the process known as Conversion Rate Optimization, let us know and we'll try and help you out.

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Unread 1st Mar 2015, 10:21 AM   #17
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Originally Posted by dburk View Post

Hi dwall,

That's a great idea for promoting your book sales.

If you ever decide to learn to use the process known as Conversion Rate Optimization, let us know and we'll try and help you out.
Thanks so much. Yes, I figure blog will most likely be more personal and effective at this stage.
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Unread 1st Mar 2015, 11:30 AM   #18
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Originally Posted by dwall View Post

Well I decided to start a blog - this shall probably increase conversations
My blog will track my progress as a writer and also just a general posts about how I'm trying to slowly create the life of my dreams and better myself. http://www.danielwallock.com/blog/
your blog does not work.

The only place where you can start your online business from 0. Step by step tutorials about marketing, SEO, advertising,selling and other business stuff that you need to be sucessfull online!
And its FOR FREE!!!!
http://moneymakingtips.siterubix.com/wealthy-affiliate
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Unread 5th Mar 2015, 01:47 PM   #19
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Originally Posted by dwall View Post

Feedback on my website please...

I am looking for feedback on my website as a splash page to covert to amazon. I need help making it convert better. Please check it out and give me feedback. I'm very new to the whole idea of a splash page.

Heres website: website

(This is conversation page)
Download my books free:
http://amazon.com/Daniel-Wallock/e/B..._athr_dp_pel_1
bottom line black hat or blue hat tricks will help ... try white hat aswell blogging, etc....

Remodel Homes
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Unread 8th Mar 2015, 09:07 AM   #20
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Re: How to improve my conversation rate?
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I will do some research about White Hat vs Black Hat... Thanks.
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Unread 20th Mar 2015, 03:31 AM   #21
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Re: How to improve my conversation rate?
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The website looks quite impressive, you can add some more quality content to the website so that the visitors get to learn more.

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Unread 20th Mar 2015, 10:02 AM   #22
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Originally Posted by princy91 View Post

The website looks quite impressive, you can add some more quality content to the website so that the visitors get to learn more.
Thank you. I am working on posting new content.
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Unread 21st Mar 2015, 06:36 PM   #23
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Re: How to improve my conversation rate?
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In my opinion you need to start with a better design of the page. Go for a landing page and try that. Check out optimizepress and other landing page software if you cannot afford to hire a designer.


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Unread 5th Apr 2015, 02:32 PM   #24
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Originally Posted by Jonathan Smith View Post

In my opinion you need to start with a better design of the page. Go for a landing page and try that. Check out optimizepress and other landing page software if you cannot afford to hire a designer.
I just created a splash page type thing. You can check out the site and I would love some feedback on it. Thanks!
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Unread 5th Apr 2015, 08:38 PM   #25
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Well, it seemed like most guys have told you all the the things you need to improve your page - content, design and layout. The only suggestion I could give is to make use of videos. It could be a video about yourself, about your books or anything relevant to what you are selling or offering.
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Unread 6th Apr 2015, 07:33 AM   #26
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You can add one CTA in right side of the landing page to attract users attention to visit amazon page. In this page, you can add more about your book, and point towards your CTA to grab users attention.

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Unread 21st Apr 2015, 02:13 AM   #27
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If you want to improve your conversation rate your site then your landing page should be of that type which vistors want.you can target your best keywords in ad-word which can increase your click through rate in google.

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Unread 25th Apr 2015, 11:52 AM   #28
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Re: How to improve my conversation rate?
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Hey Daniel,

One thing I immediately noticed is that your optinbox is not above the fold. Had to scroll down.

First thing someone visiting your site is going to think:
a) Can I trust this person and
b) What's in it for me when I give them my email.

Here's what I would do:
a) Title: Have a catchy title for a report e.g "10 free poem verses from my bestseller books" (you'll need to split test different titles)
b) Video: Have a short talking head video under 2 minutes where you introduce yourself, share 1 poem verse with its meaning and tell them to enter their email to get the remaining poems
c) optinbox: Just below the video and above the fold with a call to action e.g Download free report.
d) Terms&conditions: t&cs, privacy policy, copywright etc below the optinbox and below the fold.

After someone optins you'll want to redirect them either to a please confirm your email page (if you're using double optins). They'll be redirected to your thank you page on email confirmation.

Alternatively you can redirect straight to the thank you page where they can download the report (if you're doing single optin) with a link to your books on Amazon below the report.

What I'd do is create a 2nd video for the thankyou page telling them how to download the report and soft selling them what you teach in your books.

Try making those small changes

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Unread 29th Apr 2015, 03:35 PM   #29
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Re: How to improve my conversation rate?
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First of all,the page you shared with us should have only ONE objective. Are you trying to get your visitors to signup to your newsletter? Buy a book you published on Amazon? I see that you have a few links on your website going to different places which might cause people to get confused. If you want to get people to subscribe to your newsletter I would use a lead capture page creator like Optimize Press or Lead Pages.

Why not offer your visitors a free chapter of your book as lead bait? You would be building a list and finding people that might have an interest in buying your book. Get creative. Remember simplicity is key!

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Unread 12th May 2015, 10:57 AM   #30
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Re: How to improve my conversation rate?
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I actually think it's a good landing page apart from the typography and Amazon distraction. Build a better hierarchy and tell your story a bit more in-depth.
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Unread 30th Jun 2015, 04:40 PM   #31
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Thanks everyone for all your wonderful feedback. I have changed the website a bit and also tweaked all the pages so that really the only thing people are directed to do is sign up for my mailing list. You can check out the new version at danielwallock.com (after testing the page is converting at about 7% right now. I would love some more feedback on how to page the page convert better.
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Unread 16th Nov 2015, 10:18 AM   #32
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Re: How to improve my conversation rate?
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Few more tips for you, Friend - http://www.warriorforum.com/conversi...imization.html
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