"Do I suck at making good sales pages?"

bleek7712 · 21st Sep 2015, 11:48 AM

I've just finished creating the salespage for my new product and I'd really like input from the warriors on how I did.

Here's the webpage: www.prozellerz.com

I want you guys to tear my website to shreds. Point out every little detail and flaw that you see. And it'd be real nice if you could also tell me the things to you liked about it too.

Any and all feedback is much appreciated and thanks in advance.

brieunier · 21st Sep 2015, 12:07 PM

Are you really needing help or are you fishing for potential "custormers"?

bleek7712 · 21st Sep 2015, 12:33 PM

Haha. No, I'm actually looking for quality feedback. I know I won't find many customers here. I've been working and reworking my sales page for some time now and I'm not sure if it's good or now. Every time I think I did a good job, I didn't... according to other warriors. lol

AyiamDigital · 21st Sep 2015, 05:25 PM

After reading over your sales page, my first impression is that you did a good job on it.

The only issue is...you'll need it to be GREAT to get conversions. Here's some input, for what it's worth:

1.) The headline should be more concise (stronger and shorter). Here is an example:

Quickly Discover How X Students Learned to Generate Over $3,300 Per Month Selling Easy-to-Make Products!

2.) The colors aren't really congruent. The variations of colors used don't necessarily work together to complement each other. I'd personally dump the red, orange and purple dividers, and just keep the gray and blues.

3.) The layout. I'd try to play around with at least 2-3 different templates or WP/html pages in order to find a layout that looks highly-polished and hard to ignore. The current layout is "okay," but try several others to find something that brings all aspects of your sales page into a cohesive unit. Of course, you'd need to test the sales pages side-by-side, because you never can tell if something will/won't convert highly, just by looking at it.

4.) The copy. The current copy you have on the sales page is decent, and may convert depending on various factors, but it should be amped up several notches. I'd suggest a copy re-work from a skilled copywriter who understands the audience you are going after. The value of experience when it comes to weaving psychological tricks into phrases is priceless--you definitely want someone experienced in engaging an audience and getting them to act. Write different variations of copy, and test it all out.

5.) You counter should be moved downward. I think your headline should be at the top of the page. Your headline should get their attention first and foremost, and not distract them from proceeding to learn more of what the headline is leading into.

Before a visitor at LEAST views your video or reads the copy below the fold, you haven't established enough value in your offer to use fear of loss or urgency to get them to act. Try testing it under the video and see if that helps.

Finally..if you did this yourself AND wrote the copy yourself at 18 years of age? You did a great job!

bleek7712 · 21st Sep 2015, 10:59 PM

Thanks for the feedback. I really appreciate it. I'll keep tweaking it to see what works best.

The Cypher · 22nd Sep 2015, 10:32 AM

Okie dokie... so here's my two cents, and you can take it or leave it as you will.

Your page reeks of the same stinky BS that the IM crowd is used to.

Over-Hyped, Product-Focused Headline
Beach Pictures
Fake Sarcity Timer (even if it's not)
$1,000s of Dollars Worth of 'Product' being Sold for $7
Paypal Screenshots
Same Promise of Every Single WSO/IM/MMO Product

What you have to understand is that the sophistication of the IM/MMO market has grown, and what you're doing is blending in. There's nothing that makes your solution/product any different.

If you take out your 'POD' statements and put in 'Product' instead, you'll realize that you can actually sell half the products on the forum with this template.

Nothing stands out. The market won't respond to the same messaging they see over and over again. Just my two cents.

Also, there's quite a bit of formatting edits:
http://www.evernote.com/l/AmV1-Joz18...KgrgBPKngXzeQ/
http://www.evernote.com/l/AmUR6qpKKg...xNiYEHfRXvefA/
http://www.evernote.com/l/AmUPeo-Qjm...1W3ph43Iro2EE/
http://www.evernote.com/l/AmWmow6HJK...TSo6Y6vIHyTxs/
http://www.evernote.com/l/AmVIghazUt...qItg-Tu1rX7Rg/

club20coaching · 22nd Sep 2015, 11:43 AM

I would say it could be an issue of the traffic. Where are you getting traffic from? Are you targeting the right people? Also are you sending them to a landing page first in order to continue to offer your products or services?

tyronne78 · 22nd Sep 2015, 06:22 PM

I think the headline should be in red. Tests have shown that headlines in red convert the best.

I would also shorten the length of your headline,I think it's too wordy and believe you can get your point across with fewer words.

Just my two cents...

~TR

bleek7712 · 22nd Sep 2015, 06:33 PM

I haven't started driving traffic yet. I'm still making sure the purchasing process is working correctly and that my auto-responder is ready.

bleek7712 · 22nd Sep 2015, 06:38 PM

And thanks cypher. I'm still working on that. You should have seen my first attempt at creating this salespage. haha. It was bad.

Thanks tyronne. I'll give the red headline a try after I start driving traffic and I'll definitely work on shortening the headline like you and AyiamDigital said.

jeramiewinchell · 23rd Sep 2015, 01:12 AM

Hey bleek. Here what you should do. Even though all the feedback was great, here is what I would do. Your really not going to know unless you track and optimize your page. You need to create at least 3 different sales pages. Use the great advice you have gotten in each one. And put them on a rotator And send traffic. Watch your clicks and conversations and pick the best converting one. You can also go way more in-depth but this will be a great start. If you need help let me know.

bleek7712 · 23rd Sep 2015, 08:04 PM

Thanks jeramiewinchell. I'll give it a shot. I'm making alternative layouts for my site now.

tyronne78 · 23rd Sep 2015, 08:06 PM

Good luck with your sales letter bleek7712!

21st Sep 2015, 11:48 AM	#1
bleek7712 Bryan Leek Jr. Join Date: 2014 Location: Michigan, U.S. Posts: 39 Thanks: 49 Thanked 5 Times in 5 Posts	"Do I suck at making good sales pages?" Share on: I've just finished creating the salespage for my new product and I'd really like input from the warriors on how I did. Here's the webpage: www.prozellerz.com I want you guys to tear my website to shreds. Point out every little detail and flaw that you see. And it'd be real nice if you could also tell me the things to you liked about it too. Any and all feedback is much appreciated and thanks in advance.

21st Sep 2015, 12:07 PM	#2
brieunier Warrior Member Join Date: 2015 Location: France Posts: 18 Thanks: 0 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post	Re: "Do I suck at making good sales pages?" Share on: Are you really needing help or are you fishing for potential "custormers"?

21st Sep 2015, 12:33 PM	#3
bleek7712 Bryan Leek Jr. Join Date: 2014 Location: Michigan, U.S. Posts: 39 Thanks: 49 Thanked 5 Times in 5 Posts	Re: "Do I suck at making good sales pages?" Share on: Haha. No, I'm actually looking for quality feedback. I know I won't find many customers here. I've been working and reworking my sales page for some time now and I'm not sure if it's good or now. Every time I think I did a good job, I didn't... according to other warriors. lol

21st Sep 2015, 05:25 PM	#4
AyiamDigital Active Warrior Join Date: 2015 Location: Los Angeles, California Posts: 41 Thanks: 1 Thanked 9 Times in 8 Posts	Re: "Do I suck at making good sales pages?" Share on: After reading over your sales page, my first impression is that you did a good job on it. The only issue is...you'll need it to be GREAT to get conversions. Here's some input, for what it's worth: 1.) The headline should be more concise (stronger and shorter). Here is an example: Quickly Discover How X Students Learned to Generate Over $3,300 Per Month Selling Easy-to-Make Products! 2.) The colors aren't really congruent. The variations of colors used don't necessarily work together to complement each other. I'd personally dump the red, orange and purple dividers, and just keep the gray and blues. 3.) The layout. I'd try to play around with at least 2-3 different templates or WP/html pages in order to find a layout that looks highly-polished and hard to ignore. The current layout is "okay," but try several others to find something that brings all aspects of your sales page into a cohesive unit. Of course, you'd need to test the sales pages side-by-side, because you never can tell if something will/won't convert highly, just by looking at it. 4.) The copy. The current copy you have on the sales page is decent, and may convert depending on various factors, but it should be amped up several notches. I'd suggest a copy re-work from a skilled copywriter who understands the audience you are going after. The value of experience when it comes to weaving psychological tricks into phrases is priceless--you definitely want someone experienced in engaging an audience and getting them to act. Write different variations of copy, and test it all out. 5.) You counter should be moved downward. I think your headline should be at the top of the page. Your headline should get their attention first and foremost, and not distract them from proceeding to learn more of what the headline is leading into. Before a visitor at LEAST views your video or reads the copy below the fold, you haven't established enough value in your offer to use fear of loss or urgency to get them to act. Try testing it under the video and see if that helps. Finally..if you did this yourself AND wrote the copy yourself at 18 years of age? You did a great job!

21st Sep 2015, 10:59 PM	#5
bleek7712 Bryan Leek Jr. Join Date: 2014 Location: Michigan, U.S. Posts: 39 Thanks: 49 Thanked 5 Times in 5 Posts	Re: "Do I suck at making good sales pages?" Share on: Thanks for the feedback. I really appreciate it. I'll keep tweaking it to see what works best.

22nd Sep 2015, 10:32 AM	#6
The Cypher HyperActive Warrior Join Date: 2015 Posts: 110 Thanks: 3 Thanked 67 Times in 40 Posts	Re: "Do I suck at making good sales pages?" Share on: Okie dokie... so here's my two cents, and you can take it or leave it as you will. Your page reeks of the same stinky BS that the IM crowd is used to. Over-Hyped, Product-Focused Headline Beach Pictures Fake Sarcity Timer (even if it's not) $1,000s of Dollars Worth of 'Product' being Sold for $7 Paypal Screenshots Same Promise of Every Single WSO/IM/MMO Product What you have to understand is that the sophistication of the IM/MMO market has grown, and what you're doing is blending in. There's nothing that makes your solution/product any different. If you take out your 'POD' statements and put in 'Product' instead, you'll realize that you can actually sell half the products on the forum with this template. Nothing stands out. The market won't respond to the same messaging they see over and over again. Just my two cents. Also, there's quite a bit of formatting edits: http://www.evernote.com/l/AmV1-Joz18...KgrgBPKngXzeQ/ http://www.evernote.com/l/AmUR6qpKKg...xNiYEHfRXvefA/ http://www.evernote.com/l/AmUPeo-Qjm...1W3ph43Iro2EE/ http://www.evernote.com/l/AmWmow6HJK...TSo6Y6vIHyTxs/ http://www.evernote.com/l/AmVIghazUt...qItg-Tu1rX7Rg/

22nd Sep 2015, 11:43 AM	#7
club20coaching HyperActive Warrior War Room Member Join Date: 2010 Location: Michigan Posts: 168 Thanks: 33 Thanked 23 Times in 21 Posts	Re: "Do I suck at making good sales pages?" Share on: I would say it could be an issue of the traffic. Where are you getting traffic from? Are you targeting the right people? Also are you sending them to a landing page first in order to continue to offer your products or services?
	Jake Conway Website Design In Michigan

22nd Sep 2015, 06:22 PM	#8
tyronne78 Tyronne Ratcliff War Room Member Join Date: 2011 Location: Longview,Texas Posts: 1,222 Thanks: 439 Thanked 268 Times in 211 Posts Blog Entries: 143	Re: "Do I suck at making good sales pages?" Share on: I think the headline should be in red. Tests have shown that headlines in red convert the best. I would also shorten the length of your headline,I think it's too wordy and believe you can get your point across with fewer words. Just my two cents... ~TR
	Visit my blog for FREE direct response marketing tips & tricks

22nd Sep 2015, 06:33 PM	#9
bleek7712 Bryan Leek Jr. Join Date: 2014 Location: Michigan, U.S. Posts: 39 Thanks: 49 Thanked 5 Times in 5 Posts	Re: "Do I suck at making good sales pages?" Share on: I haven't started driving traffic yet. I'm still making sure the purchasing process is working correctly and that my auto-responder is ready.

22nd Sep 2015, 06:38 PM	#10
bleek7712 Bryan Leek Jr. Join Date: 2014 Location: Michigan, U.S. Posts: 39 Thanks: 49 Thanked 5 Times in 5 Posts	Re: "Do I suck at making good sales pages?" Share on: And thanks cypher. I'm still working on that. You should have seen my first attempt at creating this salespage. haha. It was bad. Thanks tyronne. I'll give the red headline a try after I start driving traffic and I'll definitely work on shortening the headline like you and AyiamDigital said.

23rd Sep 2015, 01:12 AM	#11
jeramiewinchell Warrior Member Join Date: 2013 Posts: 5 Thanks: 0 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post	Re: "Do I suck at making good sales pages?" Share on: Hey bleek. Here what you should do. Even though all the feedback was great, here is what I would do. Your really not going to know unless you track and optimize your page. You need to create at least 3 different sales pages. Use the great advice you have gotten in each one. And put them on a rotator And send traffic. Watch your clicks and conversations and pick the best converting one. You can also go way more in-depth but this will be a great start. If you need help let me know.

23rd Sep 2015, 08:04 PM	#12
bleek7712 Bryan Leek Jr. Join Date: 2014 Location: Michigan, U.S. Posts: 39 Thanks: 49 Thanked 5 Times in 5 Posts	Re: "Do I suck at making good sales pages?" Share on: Thanks jeramiewinchell. I'll give it a shot. I'm making alternative layouts for my site now.

23rd Sep 2015, 08:06 PM	#13
tyronne78 Tyronne Ratcliff War Room Member Join Date: 2011 Location: Longview,Texas Posts: 1,222 Thanks: 439 Thanked 268 Times in 211 Posts Blog Entries: 143	Re: "Do I suck at making good sales pages?" Share on: Good luck with your sales letter bleek7712!
	Visit my blog for FREE direct response marketing tips & tricks