wAvision

I am working with a client and would like to get some feedback on a squeeze page. This is for female weight loss and they will be given a video presentation for opting in.

Please let me know your thoughts and what should be changed.

EDIT: Updated squeeze page below...

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rusilja

It's simple, that's good.
However, you've used a two column layout which is kinda distracting. My focus was first on the headline, but I didn't bother reading it because my focus was lost (got distracted) by the second column, then I quickly viewed the rest of the site without reading a single word. And if I were a visitor, I would've just exited.

So my advice for you would be to keep focus on one thing at a time, put it all in 1 column.

Hope this helps
Good job otherwise!

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Egyfitness

I recommend adding social proof or testimonials. And A/B test trust symbols. it is hard to judge the landing page without knowing the traffic source. If the source is PPC , then it wont work good because visitors have no idea who you are and what is that

. if it is from a link on your your website or your facebook page , then it is another story.

Either way you need to provide some info to the visitor , website logo , maybe contact info , about you..etc depends on the traffic source.

headline is great . sub headline is average.

You repeated the meaning twice (and for females twice). Try to be succinct. Provide benefits and solutions

Try to offer more clear benefit and solution to the problem. Opening eyes and change views is not a direct benefit or result.

Again , repetition. Shouldnt be secrets unheard off by default ?

That was mentioned in the first paragraph ?

bullet points 3 and 4 are good , pique curiosity , offer benefits. I would put the "Trim unwanted fat " ahead of weekly tips..etc , It is better to mention benefits first then features.


I am confused by the "Female fat loss notebook" ? What is that ? it is not mentioned in the page. Avoid confusing visitors.

Egyfitness

Also A/B test showing the video length . for e-books , showing number of pages increase conversions. No idea about videos.

wAvision

I have made some changes... can I get some thoughts now? Thanks

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rusilja

It looks better now! Gj.

Secondly, add review & testimonials.

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Egyfitness

I'd start the sub-headline "Become the fit sexy.." With "Watch the video presentation.." or "Learn from video presentation .."

It explains to people the purpose of the page that they should enter their email to watch the video and avoid confusion. You mentioned that once at the end of another sentence and people may continue reading without putting that action in their head.

You should mention that it is free too ? Isn't it free ? Because people will hesitate if you don't inform them..

I also second adding pic of Kimberly to back up your claims and make people believe following statement.

wAvision

to clarify you say I should put something like "watch the video presentation to become that fit, sexy lady you dream of"

and maybe remove the picture of the video and add kimberley? or maybe put her pic beside it?

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Egyfitness

Her is my copy. I am doing it for fun , no need to paypal me

Title : Raise your metabolism by 39% using this scientifically proven tip
Accelerate (speed up) your fat loss by 67% using this powerful tip
Lose 14 lbs in 3 weeks using a single scientifically proven tip (A little generic , can be improved)

or

Raise your metabolism by 39% by this secret tip used by female fitness models
Accelerate (speed up) your fat loss by 67% with this tip used by lean bikini models

I think the lean bikini models can win. Becaue they are hot. Use it in your copy , it creates a vivid picture for the ladies.

I am using numbers , makes my claim tangible and believable. No exaggeration or empty claims . You don't have to use this. Yours is Ok too because you use numbers.

Sub-headline : This FREE 3:04 minutes video presentation will teach you how to knock out fat loss plateau and achieve a lean sexy physique

Watch this FREE 3:04 minutes video presentation that will teach you exactly why you are not achieving your fat loss goals

Watch this FREE 3:04 minutes video presentation that will teach you 4 simple steps to turn your body into a fat burning furnace.


I am giving the ladies a tangible product in exchange for their email. Something real and not ambiguous. And when they see the word free big in front of their eyes , they can sign up immediately before reading the rest of the copy.

Unbounce.com always suggests to mention number of pages for the lead gen ebook. Some people mention that its PDF too ,some people list its content , why not put the video length and RESOLUTION below it to emphasize its a REAL video ? Can you also try more interesting and higher quality video preview ? Yours look a little cheap. Imagine the preview is a hot bikini model that have something to say ? That will send conversion through the roof. The preview is the product you will give for exchange of email. Don't ignore its quality .You can hire a hot female to speak for you on fiverr too. Some of them do it in bikini (don't forget to send me the link to sign up )

And I suggest instead of "Get free access" .." Enter your email to receive the free presentation (instantly)" .. , get free access is a little ambiguous , access to what ? People fear the unknown. A/B test..take my advice for what its worth.

I made these up in 10 minutes , you should take few hours to be honest.

kamikaza

looks very good, I would probably split test this one VS squeeze page with less text and a big call to action button. Also you may want to test different call to action text. I've seen some major increase in conversions when I've changed text from "get access now" to "send me my recipes" (recipes niche in my case)

wAvision

also, does anyone know if I will be able to link to this squeeze page with the following paid services?

Google adwords?

facebook ads?

bing ads?

yahoo ads?

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raaz004

i will perform thought a squeez page.i will some change page.
thanks

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Egyfitness

For Facebook don't put before and after photos. Also the paragraph of "I am desperate I am frustraited nothing works will not pass FB ads

. Not sure about other networks policies

kamikaza

Most likely Facebook will not approve this landing page .. I had a similar LP , they denied it giving me a reason something like "unrealistic expectation".

You can try Bing ads for sure! They are less strict. Youtube ads might work as well

gavinwalsh1

Awesome tips from Eggyfitness. Listen to him and change things up!