Why everyone seems to run away from my Landing Page?

by wkakao 9 replies
Hi I created a landing page which literally is just a: background photo, headline, video sales letter and a section where you can buy a product (but it appears after 13 minutes).

Next, I started an AdWords campaign target for keywords like: erotic hypnosis, hypnosis for women, erotic hypnosis for women (which to me seemed like a good idea)

I got about 47 clicks and stopped the campaign because results were just poor. 53% of visits were 10 or less seconds long... 33% were between 10 - 60 seconds.

It tells me very clearly that... my landing page simply sucks... and it sucks hard. But it's really difficult for me to tell what the heck might be the problem. And it would be just amazing if you could share you feedback here.

Thanks!
#conversion rate optimization #landing #landing page #page #run
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  • Profile picture of the author savidge4
    Originally Posted by wkakao View Post

    Hi I'm starting a little business in "erotic hypnosis for women" niche. But it's not going as I expected and it would be really great to get some feedback from you.

    I created a landing page which literally is just a: background photo, headline, video sales letter and a section where you can buy a product (but it appears after 13 minutes).

    Next, I started an AdWords campaign target for keywords like: erotic hypnosis, hypnosis for women, erotic hypnosis for women (which to me seemed like a good idea)

    I got about 47 clicks and stopped the campaign because results were just poor. 53% of visits were 10 or less seconds long... 33% were between 10 - 60 seconds.

    It tells me very clearly that... my landing page simply sucks... and it sucks hard. But it's really difficult for me to tell what the heck might be the problem. And it would be just amazing if you could share you feedback here.

    Link: Erotic Hypnosis for women: How much pleasure you can stand?

    There is no explicit content or nudity. It's safe for work. Although you might consider turning the volume down because the video is set to autoplay.

    Thanks!
    ok what was the time of day for the campaign? this is NOT work friendly, this is 10pm to 4 am campaign stuff. If you answered the when question to mid day.... yeah your drop off will be horrific.

    Aside from the obvious here - probably the time of day... the truth is 47 clicks.. is not really enough to make any kind of assumptions... 100 at the least - and that would only be what I would consider a 10% sample.

    Have you thought through the idea that maybe it is guys wanting to learn how to hypnotize women? your lead text needs to make it clear - who it is for.. OR you need to really research your target terms and get in front of the correct audience.
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    • Profile picture of the author wkakao
      Originally Posted by savidge4 View Post

      ok what was the time of day for the campaign? this is NOT work friendly, this is 10pm to 4 am campaign stuff. If you answered the when question to mid day.... yeah your drop off will be horrific.

      Aside from the obvious here - probably the time of day... the truth is 47 clicks.. is not really enough to make any kind of assumptions... 100 at the least - and that would only be what I would consider a 10% sample.
      That makes sense. I assumed that if someone is searching for a term like "erotic hypnosis" it should mean that this person is able to watch the content. But actually being able to search for something doesn't mean being able to spend 13 minutes listening to the audio.

      Thank you so much! It's very helpful.
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  • Profile picture of the author Ron Herman
    Originally Posted by wkakao View Post

    Hi I'm starting a little business in "erotic hypnosis for women" niche. But it's not going as I expected and it would be really great to get some feedback from you.

    I created a landing page which literally is just a: background photo, headline, video sales letter and a section where you can buy a product (but it appears after 13 minutes).

    Next, I started an AdWords campaign target for keywords like: erotic hypnosis, hypnosis for women, erotic hypnosis for women (which to me seemed like a good idea)

    I got about 47 clicks and stopped the campaign because results were just poor. 53% of visits were 10 or less seconds long... 33% were between 10 - 60 seconds.

    It tells me very clearly that... my landing page simply sucks... and it sucks hard. But it's really difficult for me to tell what the heck might be the problem. And it would be just amazing if you could share you feedback here.

    Link: Erotic Hypnosis for women: How much pleasure you can stand?

    There is no explicit content or nudity. It's safe for work. Although you might consider turning the volume down because the video is set to autoplay.

    Thanks!
    I honestly don't think it's a time of day thing at all. First of all, it starts out with the video 1/3 of the way below the fold, not that there's really anything to see. Then, trying to simply go right into a hypnotic session from the opening bell? Not a good approach.

    And it sounds like the speaker is drunk, sleepy, or both...

    Then there's the accent. I don't know where you're targeting, geographically speaking, but if it's like the US, then "POOT on your headphones" is likely going to bounce a lot of visitors if they're not already gone. *IF* it was going to work, which I doubt, I would hire a voice over artist.

    I think your gut feeling... "my landing page simply sucks" is right on the money.
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  • Profile picture of the author toysoldier80
    When it comes to improving your design, I would take a step back and test it before you do a full fledge Adwords campaign. Test your market or markets that you are catering to. Create a bunch of ads with various photos, colors, etc and Once you deliver an ad that gets results that you desire, you can then deliver that ad to Adwords where the ad will convert tremendously. There are so many low-cost sites that allow you to deliver campaigns similar to Adwords where you can do a test for cheap for various ads. And these ads should deliver a nice ROI as well because depending on what site or sites you choose, are highly targeted.

    How many sites do you see on google, click on them just to check out the landing page. However, you click on one of those lesser known sites, where people are searching for information dedicated to your particular niche, then once they click on your ad, they may even convert better than on Adwords depending on the nature of your ad.
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  • Profile picture of the author outscrape
    I have never seen a landing page that autoplays a video that is only slow, droning voiceover with no caption or change in the video. It is pretty boring.

    I would make sure to set the stage for the listener first. Make it clear that they are going to hear an example of something. What is the result going to be? Why are they listening?

    "All you have to do is to put on your headphones and play the video above... but beware because my voice is going to make your incredibly wet and horny!"

    Unless it's already naked time, women don't usually respond to the phrase "incredibly wet and horny". Maybe rethink how you present this video by looking at competitors' pages if you can find one.
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  • Profile picture of the author SARubin
    I agree with savidge4... 47 clicks is hardly a measurable sample.

    That being said; I'll offer you a short critique...

    I'm a guy, so I'm not your target market. But I had my wife, my daughter (yes, she's an adult), and a female friend of mine, read your page.

    The immediate response they all gave, without looking at the video, was about the same... "ehh (shoulder shrug) sounds interesting, but I don't believe it."

    As for me, I'm just a copywriter. So I'll give you a tiny bit of friendly advice...

    Your copy has a couple of grammar errors which break up the flow of reading for a native English reader (this could be part of what's leading to the lack of credibility?).

    Example: You start with "If you are a woman" (singular) but then mention "moan and groan with your mouths wide open." (most women don't have more than one mouth). There's a couple other structure errors as well.

    Hey, I'm not trying to embarrass you. I make the same mistakes myself. That's why I always put my copy down for a few days, then go back and re-read it, or have someone else read it out loud to me.

    I suggest you have someone (a friend?) read your copy out loud to you, and listen for any sentences or words they stumble on.
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  • Profile picture of the author yukon
    Originally Posted by wkakao View Post

    HiI created a landing page which literally is just a: background photo, headline, video sales letter and a section where you can buy a product (but it appears after 13 minutes).


    This is exactly why the page failed.

    Nobody is going to look at a webpage for 13 minutes after clicking an ad.
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  • Profile picture of the author markhimeb
    Yukon is right. There are a couple more issues I see there.
    Image backgrounds never work. I would replace the background you used with a blank page, where the text would appear. Also, all this text in your sign up form is not going to get you anything.

    You need to check your sales funnel. In your place, I would completely redesign the whole page, put a nice white background with some easily readable text where I would offer the mp3 and a .pdf transcription --not everyone likes listening audio files, especially about "adult" or "dating" matters. I would leave a text not over 1-2 paragraphs and would ask visitors to subscribe to get this ebook and mp3.

    I get over 5% conversions with forms like this.
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  • Profile picture of the author Jhelum Sen
    You mean to say your bounce rate is higher. This is because your landing page is either wrong, unattractive, unappealing or your load time is more. You must go for A/B testing to find out which landing pages works better for you. Go for good creatives that are attractive and clear. Sometimes, bad choice of color and fonts can disappoint the visitors. Pixilated images can also be a major problem. Lack of white space or breathing space can also increase the bounce rate.
    If your images, videos or any other file that are uploaded in your page are heavy, then the loading times increase. This has an adverse effect on the traffic of the website. So, I think you should focus on these areas and check whether your bounce rate reduces or not.
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    Jhelum Sen, Sr. Content Marketing Executive
    http://www.techmagnate.com

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