15th Jul 2016, 09:10 AM | #1 |
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Hi Everyone, My wife is a nutritionist and she created an ebook for women on how to lose belly fat. She’s writing different headlines she wants to test on her website when it’s completed. Can you share your thoughts or suggestions on what you think about this headline: "How I Lost 10 Lbs of Belly Fat In 10 Days Without Spending Hours In The Gym!" This is just a sample of the main headline not the sub-headline. Thanks in advance! |
18th Jul 2016, 12:05 PM | #2 | |
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18th Jul 2016, 12:07 PM | #3 |
Marketing Warrior Join Date: 2016 Location: Toronto
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PS try the copywriting section of this forum Lots of talented writers there!
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18th Jul 2016, 01:11 PM | #4 |
HyperActive Warrior Join Date: 2013 Location: Wales UK
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I think scaremongering is a very powerful way of advertising. Why not title your book, "Why You Must Lose That Belly Fat". Obviously you can play around with the wording, but it gets people's attention. Curiosity kicks in and people think, Oh, what will happen to me if I don't lose the belly fat. Hope you find that useful. |
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19th Jul 2016, 12:58 AM | #5 |
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19th Jul 2016, 04:47 AM | #6 |
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Not only is this too long, it's ringing some *warning/scam/scam/scam* bells. General rule of thumb, if you make it too unbelievable, people aren't going to take it seriously no matter how great the information there might be in there. You want to make it sound important, needed, and actually realistic. So the comment above: "Why you MUST lose that belly fat" is spot on. |
25th Jul 2016, 12:53 AM | #7 | |
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or 10 ways to loss... Hope this helps. | |
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25th Jul 2016, 04:54 AM | #8 |
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As your target market (and someone who it looking to lose my flabby post-baby belly) I would say that you should focus on all the things that I am lacking - time, motivation and energy... it you make it a little snappy I think it would work better, add a bit of a spin on it - "From drab to fab - drop 10lb and get trim without the gym".... I'm not even sure the 10 days part is even essential as long as your target market it losing the weight and keeping it off that is the key. That's my two cents worth anyway.
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