Chaz Butler

I need help please! we are driving traffic to this site and while I have received lots of positive feedback from the client on how much they like it, there are no phone calls or form submissions.

That does not work for me! I am very open to some critique on this need to fix it

http://themaxchallengesac.strikingly.com new site and address 5/17

Please help we need these pages to work.
Chaz

Mark Singletary

What are you doing to promote the site? Are you getting traffic but they just aren't signing up?

Mark

Chaz Butler

correct i have PPC and FB traffic coming just no leads

helisell

Website has no compelling headline. A graphic covers half the 'above the fold' area. No call to action. No clear benefit is offered. No 'get them on a list' mechanism.

The site breaks most of the 'rules' of good web design, that's why you have no activity.

Just google 'what makes a great landing page' and all will be revealed.

Making Calls To Sell Something? What are you actually saying?
Is there any room for improvement? Want to find out?

Chaz Butler

Great thanks, I have made a number of changes to get it much more in line with that feedback.

jamesbartram

Hey Chaz,

Hope you are good!?!

Just wanted to chime in here if that's cool. Thanks for your post, in regards to form submissions, being able to capture a potential clients email address is really important in that you can (or your client) begin to follow up with that person, and start building a relationship with them.

Over time, if done correctly that will lead to a higher chance of success with conversions. In this scenario though, to stand a better chance of increasing submissions, if someone was visiting the page, the main areas i would initially amend are:

- The first thing i noticed is that at the top of the page, there are so many opportunities for a potential client to leave the page. It's distraction central in there. What i mean by that is, at the top of the page, there are 6 buttons, so 6 links, 6 lure-me-away-from-the-page buttons enticing people to move onto something else. You may need to think about having a separate page to capture the email address. I refer it as a squeeze page, i know others do and some don't but ultimately it's a page designed to squeeze an email address out of someone.

- I haven't checked it on my mobile, but on my desktop, i would need to scroll down the page before i see a 'Call to action' for that potential client to do something (i.e 'call me', 'submit'). I'd advise, keeping it above the fold which has already been mentioned, but that way, it's minimal effort for anyone looking at it. They will know instantly what to do without having to scroll, just making the experience neater for them.

- You could have a small logo at the top, no buttons (zero distractions), with a headline that grabs someone's attention like "Free Video Reveals A 10 Week Weight Loss and Body Transformation Programme That Could Completely Change Your Life". I'm just thinking off the top of my head with that, but underneath that headline, you could have a name/email field to fill in (less information required the better), with a call to action button saying "Tell Me More" or "Give Me Instant Access To This Video". From here, the potential client would move onto another page with a video explaining the '10 week.....'. On this page with the video (called a bridge page), you can link out to another call to action, for them to sign up etc.

-From here you can follow up with them through email now you have it, building a relationship with anyone who doesn't go for the offer straight away.

Hope that helps Chaz,

Let me know if you need anything else.

Take care,

James.

Chaz Butler

Hey James thank you for that, I have already removed the Navigation and reduced the size of the logo substantially, Added a call now button for mobile and a sign up now button above the fold for desktop/tablet, restated the offer so it is clearer.

can i ask you to look again?

helisell

Still no compelling headline? Still no 'great reason to be interested'?

Making Calls To Sell Something? What are you actually saying?
Is there any room for improvement? Want to find out?

jamesbartram

Hey Chaz,

Your welcome man! Glad to see you taking such quick action as well. Straight away, i feel focused on the page now, as there is no other distractions. I think that makes a huge difference.

On the amendments side, In all honest, it's too cost heavy in my opinion. The potential clients are almost expected to part ways with the 25 workouts for $159 dollars without a real enticing, value driven reason to do so, unless they scroll down.

Ultimately the squeeze page can literally be one page, with minimal to zero scrolling, featuring an enticing headline (like the Free Video Reveals one above), on the same page, you could have an email/name form which when submitted takes them to a page which delivers on the value that was teased on the squeeze page.

Hope that helps Chaz,

Look forward to hearing from you!

James.

Chaz Butler

?? that is a screaming deal literally 1/3 the price of a typical boot-camp that generally offer no nutrition. The headline matches the ads that people are absolutely responding too?? I am missing something.

jamesbartram

I have no doubt that it's an awesome deal man! Just on my limited gym based knowledge, i'm thinking "Yeah - I'm liking that". However, a couple of things:

1. What are the ads that people are responding too? On Facebook? Banner Ads?

2. Are they targeted to a specific audience?

3. People need to be compelled to part ways with their information, or in this scenario, money. What is the journey of the customer up until this point? Or is this step one?

4. People will sign up if their is a valuable reason for them to do so. Them taking out $159 deal is probably the end goal, that's ultimately the thing that makes money. But, in this scenario, giving value away to the potential client, acting as an ethical bribe for them to part ways with their email address is the key. But what is the reason for them to sign up? What is really going to stop them in their tracks, and grab them? An enticing headline! Aside from that, having the background as white instead of grey could help you (it may not), but it's all about amending, changing and seeing what works and doesn't.

Overall though, for me its about trialing some headlines and seeing what works. Also with less information for the customer to give. As an example, could a name and email field suffice at this stage? I appreciate that you may want other information, but i personally feel uneasy about giving too much information up front.


Take care,

James.

Chaz Butler

you think something like "Here is a Chance to have the best Summer Body possible" would be a better headline?

Chaz Butler

The challenge is getting the phone to ring, this is such an emotional sell, no amount of email marketing has moved the needle on leads, the franchise marketing agency has been working that angle for a few years.

We need phone numbers and phone calls. the price is very agressive about 1/3 of typical bootcamp cost and half what group training at box gym. maybe I should stick with the 25 classes for $6.36 each or omit the price all together.

Chaz Butler

I should also mention that the Ad that they click to get here already has the price listed.

jamesbartram

Ok, so correct me if i'm wrong but people are visiting the page, but are not interested to sign up or to phone in.

If it's an emotional sell, i would use specifically one of the people that is used in the testimonials, but as the main part of your squeeze page, obviously with her agreement.

Visually she has had a complete transformation. However, for something where the product you are selling is so visual, i would currently need to scroll down almost half the page to see a person and the transformation that the product brings.

If you were able to utilize Felicia as an example you could have a headline like "Discover The 10 Week Programme That Completely Changed My Life And Self-Confidence"

With a before and after picture of Felicia next to it or just below it, with a email address field and a "Tell Me More" button. The potential customer presses it and is taking to a page featuring more about the story of Felicia (again, purely as an example) and ultimately the product.

Just an idea!

James

Chaz Butler

got it I think I will swap out the logo with the before and after and modify the headline a bit.

jamesbartram

Hey,

I would say more the reason then to deliver on the value of how good the 10 week transformation is then!

Warm regards,

James

jamesbartram

Ok man! Let me know how it all goes please Chaz!

If you need anything then i'm happy to help.

Take care,

James

dburk

Hi Chaz,

1. The landing page needs a more compelling value proposition. Local competitors offer way more value on their websites. Local competitors are offering "Free 7 day guest pass" while your value proposition is a price of $159 for 25 workouts. Using pricing as your value proposition only works when you are clearly the lowest priced offer. Free beats $159, so find a better value proposition.

2. The CTA button on your homepage hero unit is non-functional. I can't see many folks signing up with a broken button. An easy fix.

3. There are usability issues with the basic layout that creating friction. The center-aligned text gives it a more even look, but at a high cost to usability. This creates a negative experience for users trying to read text blocks with multiple lines of text. This could easily be fixed. Try using left aligned text when you have a multiple-line block of text.

Those are all things that could easily be fixed in about an hour and will likely give you the biggest boost to campaign performance. There may be plenty of other issues, related to traffic sources, however I can only comment on what I can see.

HTH,

Don Burk

* Get Results - Outsource Your PPC Management |
* Don Burk Advertising & Marketing - www.donburk.com

ryanbiddulph

Looking much cleaner Chaz. Good job :)

I see one glaring problem though. It's a fundamental problem too.

The domain name.

When I see a domain name like that I see a disconnect. Something is off. 2 names in essence. It seems not too professional to me. I am obsessed with branding and all but really, even as a newbie web guy or casual visitor I would wonder why the website owner did not buy a 1 word, clear, easy to understand domain name.

You'll definitely boost conversions and get calls and all that good stuff but if you just went with maxlaguna methinks you'd convert a lot more folks. A trust issue, or a clarity issue.

If you cannot go with maxlaguna just go with something similar. As long as it is one domain name and reflects the company or opportunity being promoted you should be good to go.

Other than that your changes are looking solid. I dig the overall message and the fact that the page is not too hyped out or over the top. Good before and afters for proof. Clean enough layout. Sweet add at the bottom with the success team. This humanizes everything. People are behind the opportunity. Humans. People who will help you reach your weight loss goals. Happy, smiling people. Good stuff. We eat this up on a deeper, subconscious level more than we realize. Sometimes IMers forget this.

Ryan

Ryan Biddulph helps you to be a successful blogger with his courses, manuals and blog at Blogging From Paradise

Eden A

Okay so first thing drop the price from the headline.

the price comes after you get them hooked
to your product and they are anxious to buy.

*Why does this program change everything?
How it can help them? is it going to be fast?
slow? try to do a new headling while keep that in mind.

*In the page add a call to action button.
How they can act if you won't tell them how and
where to act?
You need to guide them to act.

*And put some info about you.
they need to know who is behind this.
get them to trust you and then start on the benefits
of the protcts.

Hope that helps.
Eden.

yukon

Learn More?

That's the best you've got for a call to action?

I'm not trying to be an ass but I'd fire you for a Learn More.

Get a checkout form above the fold with a short description of what they're buying. Do it!

What the hell is this (image below)? Do you want leads or do you want sales? I can't even buy this stuff If I wanted, there's no checkout. What are you doing? Why do you want to call me?

Chaz Butler

yes Leads are the precious commodity right now, getting folks to buy a $159 or $350 package from a FB or PPC seems far fetched, although i am putting together a buy now option for folks that will run with the next 10 week challenge.

They have a solid conversion rate when we get people on the phone its getting the calls and numbers that have eluded them. so that is what we are shooting for with this. prominent call now button on mobile. and easy to submit form with evidence and a guranatee.

learn more is weak i have updated that to "Guaranteed Results"

Direct feedback does not make someone an Ass, that you took time to reply is a blessing

Chaz Butler

The price is in the ad that brings the traffic so its out of the box already, but I get the point and have adjusted. I am changing the button text to be more directive, "Guaranteed results" and "Call Me Now" rather than learn more etc.

21stCenturyCopywriting

Hi :)

Do you mind if I add how I see this?

I feel like technically, you’ve aimed high with your copy but it kinds of lack common sense.

Let’s see why and let’s start with the headline.

I’ll ignore the fact that it is “The Fitness Program That …” instead of the “Fitness Program That …”. It is just a small, honest mistake and it happens to everyone.

However, people don’t actually speak like this, in real life.

I’m a man but if I go to the gym, I go for a specific reason in mind. I don’t want to change everything. I don’t want a mind / body renewal system. I don’t even know what that means. You know what I want?

To feel strong mate. To feel like I’m improving, like I’m changing. To feel like I’m evolving. To feel like next month, in six months, in one year, people I haven’t seen for a while are going to see me on the street and not recognize me.

So I feel you don’t really understand your market.

But this is not for me. This is for women. And I’ve sold enough of these programs to know a thing or two about the market.

Let’s say that I’m a lady, for the sake of the argument. Let’s say that my name is Alexa.

In six months, I’m getting married. I want to look perfect in that dress. After all, I’ve bought it a few numbers smaller. Those photos and videos are going to stay with me and my friends all my life. My kids are going to see those photos and hopefully, their kids too.

So I want to lose weight. But I admit it, I’m not like some other girls. I can’t diet and I can’t push myself to wake up at 06:00 and to run for ten miles. Good for them, I’m a normal person.

So I come to the gym and I give this responsibility to YOU, the trainer. I don’t know how, I don’t know where, I don’t know when but YOU will make me thin and sexy or I’m going to hate you for ruining my wedding forever.

Makes sense? :)

Now compare it with your headline.

Fitness Progam That Changed Everything
The MAX is a Body and Mind Renewal System. Gym, Nutrition, and Coaching
Your Summer Body Just Got an Upgrade!

Can you see where’s the disconnect?

And this tends to repeat through the entire copy. You’re selling something I’m not interested in buying. Yes, the means, the features, are exactly what I want. But I don’t want a mind renewal system. I mean … what is this, yoga, meditation? Some stuff from India?

Instead, I want to look good in that dress or I want those bikini to fit me well. So just sell the benefits, the actual benefits.

I don’t want to be harsh but the copy, taken section by section, is a bit weak. It feels … artificial. I mean, let’s put it this way. Let’s say I came to the gym and you tried to sell me a spot (consider that guys are accepted too for a second). We would talk. You’d ask me what are my goals, I’d tell you about how I want to impress this cute girl, we’d had a laugh, we’d talk a bit about the how, we’d talk a bit about the result and at the end of the day, I’d get a membership and we’d be good friends.

Now, why can’t you do the same in your copy? Why does the copy need to feel like it is written for a computer? :)

Thank you for reading!

Neal01

Looking at your website there is no call to action, that should be the first thing people see if you are targeting submissions.

The submissions box should not be below that but as soon as they load your site, that should be the first thing they see.

Also, you need to give them a reason to sign up with you, what are you going to do for them that other places are not or cannot.

Last thing for me is about the traffic, if you are doing FB ads and getting no leads that would suggest either your targeting the wrong people or you message is not matching what they see when they get to your site.

It's all about pre-framing, if your site says gym nurtrition and coaching but your ad talks about getting fit, working out, etc they don't match exactly.

Yes sure they are the same thing but to the person who visits your page they are expecting something to help them get fit and your site is offer them gym coaching.

Hope that makes sense, what I would advise is giving them a PDF that shows them a 5 minute work out they can do or the best excerises to get in shape quickly, etc.

This will get you sign ups an then you can follow up with them and people may be more open to trying out your coaching.

Hope this helps.

If want to make a full time living using just your mobile phone, watch this video for details Watch the video here

brooking1

Chaz mate have you clearly defined before you started your campaign what your ideal prospect looks like ( psychographic), and are you sure your clearly hitting the correct target audience with your Marketing endeavours. Cheers Tony

yukon

You have no real sales funnel on your webpage (link in OP).

All the traffic clicking the button above the fold and jumping down the page past the contact form might as well not exist. Odds of traffic scrolling back up the page are slim and they wouldn't even know they missed a contact form that they jumped over.

Hope you didn't pay for that traffic.

Again... get the contact/checkout form above the fold and stop making it difficult.

BTW, none of those people in the weight loss images look like they've lost much/any weight. Not very convincing.

Eden A

Great, hope that helps.
and if you have some more questions
you are more than welcome to reach out.

Eden A

I really like the way you are thinking!
you are literally going inside the client mind.

I just want to add a little with some guiding question
for Chaz Butler:

And You are right you got to know who exactly who is your client, what does he/she want? where is he coming from? is he happy, sad? want to make a change? what kind of change? fast slow? etc..

I really hope that Chaz Butler will read what you wrote.
It will help him/her to upgrade his/her copy to a whole new level.

21stCenturyCopywriting

Thank you Eden.

Much appreciated.

Kay King

I skimmed the posts as I didn't want to form an opinion before going through the site. The price may be 'awesome' - the clients may love the site....but it's not selling.

You have to get through all the large logos, etc to get to three 'boxes' that highlight the 3 phrases of the program....and it tells the visitor absolutely NOTHING.

"Fitness" and "motivation" are nothing but a "call me" link.

"Nutrition" should at least give some information about diet restrictions of this plan..what foods are featured, etc..there's nothing except a link to "signup". Everything on the site seems designed to get a name and get the money....and it's not working.

Only one of the 'before' and 'after' image sets is in the least impressive and it's the one with the least clarity as one image is imposed on the other. You don't show the weight loss on the before/after images or changes in clothing size or inches. If "the biggest change is her smile" - where is the weight loss?

What is the exercise routine? How long does it take each day? What foods are allowed - not allowed? I also had the impression of "gym coaching" but there is no mention of going to a gym - or of using exercise equipment or dvd's...

Your clients may have a great plan - but it's not described and the site is more like a glossy magazine spread with lots of photos than a sales page....at least to me.

Make it personal for the visitors - what can THEY lose - how much time and effort will it cost them? At your price, you are competing with some top diet/nutrition/motivational plans but I don't think the site can compete as it is.

Chaz Butler

I so hear you! here is the scoop.

The target is not people who have successfully used the gym or personal training or event (wedding) people. it's not people who are looking to have huge transformations (although it happens all the time).

who it is, people who have failed with other programs because they cannot get their mind around how to be successful at it. This is the Magic of the program, yes its cheap, the gym and coaching is included, and the nutrition is easy to follow and comes from your local grocery store, no pre-prepared meal system or supplement upsale. but what turns people into cult like fanatics (uber loyal promoters of the system) is that it creates a powerful peer group that supports and hold each other accountable at an astoundingly high level. seriously if you are a 5am regular and you dont show for the class you will have people calling, texting and driving by your house to see if you going to make the class up or need help with meal prep.

Kay King

And that is not clear on the site - there are no nutritional or diet examples, no mention of "a gym" (which would indicate this is a local offer?).

Suggest reading your own first post here where you asked for help because this site is not selling....and now you are trying to "sell" the product to people offering advice here.

You just said MORE about 'benefits' in the post addressing my comments....than the site provides to visitors.

That would royally tick me off. But there are people who would see that as a positive...if it were mentioned.

So - this is a diet for overweight people who have tried everything else - have no willpower - and want to be part of a group? They want someone to hold them accountable - personal attention, etc....there's your market.

Chaz Butler

And that is the challenge, few people would choose the part that makes it work. the reason most folks fail at this is they "Isolate" and keep it to themselves feel alone etc. Being direct about this benefit runs people off quickly! so the trick is to attract them to program with less antagonistic benefits and once they are there the results

I will mention we signed 20 people over the weekend one of our most successful weekends to date although I believe that is In spite of this site not because of it.

This campaign is over for now I will be revamping the pages for another attempt in about 5 weeks.

Eden A

Okay, so you know who is your target
so put those benefits in the headline
and in the copy.

Make it subtle people want it simple and easy
not complicated.

Start to play with it and see what works,
Because I don't see and understand it from the
headline.

It's started from there because if people don't
like the headline and it doesn't create attention
and interest
they will just skip it.

You are more then welcome to
reach out if you have some more questions.

Anis Chity

Hi there, the design is a bit confused and it seems like there is a typo in the headline

Eden A

Sure thing 21stCenturyCopywriting
well you really know what youre talking about. ;)

Eden A

Can I ask you something?
And sorry if it will sound as an aggressive question
but I really want to help you over here.

Chaz Butler

I am here for help so please feel free.

creativeartmarketing

Well, if we look at the headline before anything

Money Back Guarantee - 25 Classes $159

Money-back guarantee on what? 25 classes for $159 teaching what? What is it that you are trying to SELL?

The headline should answer the following questions:

1. What is it?
2. What will it do for me if I buy it?
3. Why is it better than others?

So it can be seen there are issues with that headline in the first place - I think that needs to be taken care of. The headline should send out a clear message to whoever is reading it.

Again,

Feel like you have tried everything? Been sold a bunch of hopes and dreams, only to be right back where you started?

Tried everything for what? Been sold hopes and dreams for what? And so on...Again no clear message. You see I'm reading this for the first time and can't make sense of what it's by looking at those headlines and all the text there is above the fold. And I'm sure you don't want to say all the info is there down the page because you're not giving visitors any reason to scroll down... You need to know people these days don't have the luxury of so long a time as to scroll down, after reading vague headlines, to find out what they are all about. The top section of the page is your best opportunity to arouse interest, and you are not utilizing that space in the best possible manner.

Reading further down, the first paragraph below those headlines does not send out a clear message, and I can also spot a spelling error there i.e "obsticals" - the correct spelling of the word is "obstacles". I also noticed a grammatical error as I read further down i.e Lets instead of Let's.

In terms of design, there is a huge room for improvement in the page. The very first image you are using above the fold has pixelated borders, and it can be seen quite clearly that it has been cropped off another image.The look especially of that first section is not aesthetically appealing.

Overall the design of the page could have been a lot better than it currently is: you could have added more graphics, space could have been used more sparingly, testimonials could have been presented in a more attractive way and so on. I mean the landing page needs a facelift overall...

Hope this helps.

21stCenturyCopywriting

Chaz,

1) You are too close to the product and you can't see it objectively. This happens all the time. If I create a product today, it will happen the same thing to me.

2) Tell them what you've told me. Personally, I find what you've wrote above to be better than your copy. So as you've tried to sell me on why this is a top notch product, try to sell them too. There are other problems but it is a start.

Eden A

Loved those tips!

Are you a copywriter?

wordfeeder

That page looks like a back page to me, not a home page. My initial reaction was "where am I... I must be on the wrong thing." It's kind of page you close as soon as you land on it. Sorry to say. I'm sure you've worked hard on it. What about a lead-in, some copy letting people know what they just landed on, and either a sales message and capture form... or some regular old links to other pages of the site? I understand it's supposed to be a squeeze page, so you probably don't want the main navigation. But the messages seems abrupt and somehow unappealing. Keep the graphic of the weight loss lady, she's good.

Yvon Boulianne

that got to go, that`s not a good example, the after is as fat as the before lol
http://res.cloudinary.com/hrscywv4p/...6_n_hw5awn.jpg

dburk

Hi Chaz,

I see a big usability problem in your latest version that could easily be fixed.

Center aligned text is fine for a single line of text, but makes reading very hard when used on multi-line text messages.

There are many instances where you have chosen center-aligned text for multi-line statements. This is a huge usability issue that can easily be corrected by switching the text alignment to left-align. Doing this will make you page much more scan-able and easier to read.

Multiple lines of text that are all center-aligned create a lot of friction, reducing cognitive momentum, which is proven to reduce conversion rates. It only takes about 5 minutes of effort to easily fix this known conversion killer.

HTH,

Don Burk

* Get Results - Outsource Your PPC Management |
* Don Burk Advertising & Marketing - www.donburk.com

ashleygfit

I agree with helisell, you need a headline to grab them in! Also when I see "training sessions" I wonder if these are in person or online? What is different that you offer besides other trainers? Your price may be competitive but do you have a "special" technique or result that can be found nowhere else. The first pic is great, if you had more that would be better!
How are you driving traffic?

ashleygfit

They need a "free" something, like here leave your email and see the best exercise you can do right now to sculpt your abs, or "get my special detox drink"

surya kumar

Yes as said by heilsell there is no call to action and no benefits mentioned. You are getting traffic through fb and PPC and you have to promote targeted audience and place other wise your conversions drops.

creativeartmarketing

Thank! Yes, I am a copywriter and a designer.