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Old 07-07-2009, 04:46 PM   #1
Dr. Ron the NicheProf
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Arrow Sales Page Critique, Please (I Tweaked the Top for Clearer Focus)

I couldn't think of a better group to ask for some feedback and suggestions on a new sales page I posted for a WSO (Same general copy and format for the non-WSO Offer).

The product is a collection of tips and wisdom that I've obtained from attending over 30 conferences during the past 4 years.

Since it was the easiest to categorize, I elected to focus the first volume on Direct Response Marketing and Copywriting. That potentially creates a very real proble if the copy sucks and it doesn't look like I've learned anything. I am the first to confess: I AM NOT A COPYWRITER!

I do have some added testimonials to be put on the page and a couple of them will be videos.

You can go directly to the WSO sales page here: http://budurl.com/nicheprofnotesWSO

Any comments and suggestions are greatly appreciated.

Dr. Ron Capps the NicheProf

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Last edited by NicheProf; 07-08-2009 at 10:24 PM. Reason: Revised Title
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Old 07-07-2009, 10:10 PM   #2
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Default Re: Please provide some feedback on a new salespage

Ron,

I'll be second to say that I'm not a copywriter. You had me following your logic all the way through your salesletter. In fact, I've felt many of the challenges you described to not be able to attend conferences the way I would have liked to. I've wound up doing more webinars or buying the DVDs for conferences this year. I'm sure others will feel the same way. I think you did a great job standing in my shoes so much so that I agreed with you at the end and bought your WSO. Seriously for a guy who says he doesn't write alot of copy I thought your letter was very well done. The clincher for me was the John Rhodes testimonial at the end of the letter. Looking forward to the next set of products and reading this one.

I will say that for me personally on a different note. I try to copy Jason Fladlien. I like his copy. It's simple effective and easy for me to immitate. If you happen to run across any of his product copy I find his sales pages extremely well done and effective.

All the Best on your WSO,
John Paduchak
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Old 07-08-2009, 01:18 AM   #3
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Default Re: Please provide some feedback on a new salespage

I opened your sales letter.... the first 1-3-5 seconds I had no idea what the heck it's all about... because you asked for opinions, I tried to re-read it (otherwise I'd left)... and I still don't know what it's about

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Old 07-08-2009, 08:13 AM   #4
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Default Re: Please provide some feedback on a new salespage

Thank both of you for the feedback. It is interesting to see two rather different responses that are probably very representative of the typical online reader.

Thanks for the suggestion to look at some of the copywriting examples provided by Jason Fladien, John. I'll search for some examples.

I'm a bit more confused by the feedback provided by Activetrader. I'm apparently as uncertain about your point as you were of my copy. What actions could I take that would address the lack of clarity about what the sales letter is about?

I appreciate any and all feedback and look forward to any added responses.

Sincere thanks, Dr. Ron Capps the NicheProf

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Old 07-08-2009, 07:36 PM   #5
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Default Re: Please provide some feedback on a new salespage

Quote:
Originally Posted by drjazz800 View Post

I'm a bit more confused by the feedback provided by Activetrader. I'm apparently as uncertain about your point as you were of my copy. What actions could I take that would address the lack of clarity about what the sales letter is about?
Check this out A Layman's Guide To Writing Your Own Copy With Ease

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Old 07-08-2009, 10:22 PM   #6
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Default Re: Please provide some feedback on a new salespage

Thank you for the link to your suggested model. Much appreciated and now I have a better understanding of what is converting for you and will attempt to factor it into any revised copy.

I appreciate you taking the time and effort.

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Old 07-09-2009, 05:20 PM   #7
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Default Re: Sales Page Critique, Please (I Tweaked the Top for Clearer Focus)

Ron,

I guess perhaps I had more of an interest in what you were writing about. Sometimes you get that one person that thinks you're speaking directly to them.
I was totally associating with your story. Here is a Jason Fladlien sample.

Jason Fladlien Copywriting Course

I just took a course that Jason offered and watched him practically write this sales letter during the webinar. He has a very simple but effective style.

Traffic Bad Boys

I'm curious though on your thoughts though. These are not affiliate links.

John Paduchak
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Old 07-09-2009, 05:52 PM   #8
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Default Re: Sales Page Critique, Please (I Tweaked the Top for Clearer Focus)

Thanks for the post and links, John

I'll take a closer look at them tonight. I'm fairly good friends with Robert Plank.

I'm glad that the copy spoke to you, because, I believe that you represent my target market. (When I reflect upon your identifying with the hurdles to attending conferences due to scheduling and expenditures).

If you get the chance I would certainly appreciate you providing a testimonial that I can incorporate into the sales page revisions. Just provide a photo and link for me to point to with your testimonial. Obviously, if you have access to video ad can provide a video testimonial that would also be wonderful

Let me know if there is ever any way that I can be of assistance to you.

I'll share my reaction to the links you provided with appropriate feedback.

Dr. Ron Capps the NicheProf

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