How can i improve on my copy?

[Tom Brite]

Hey,

Was just looking over my current wso (found here) and realized it really probably isn't converting as well as it should and my copy sucks!

I was actually just going to add some more of the review's in there and replace the worse ones with the better ones (if that makes sense) as otherwise if i had all of them then it would be hugeee!

But anyhow yeah im basicly looking for some tips and advice on how i can improve on it. I was going to get a graphic made for the ebook and put that up and also put all the reviews into graphics instead of just how they are now.

Also maybe a video explaining the wso with some proof etc too or something (but might be hard as i don't want to give too much away).

Any help is greatly appreciated!

Tom Brite

[dorothydot]

The best answer is... find someone who is 1) successful and 2) whose style is one that is similar to yours then...

copy out by hand the writings of that Someone. This is one of the basic yet best ways to get better fast.

Hope this helps,
Dot

[Tom Brite]

Originally Posted by dorothydot

The best answer is... find someone who is 1) successful and 2) whose style is one that is similar to yours then...

copy out by hand the writings of that Someone. This is one of the basic yet best ways to get better fast.

Hope this helps,
Dot

Hey Dot,

Sorry but i don't really have a style of copy writing. I do for my niche sites etc but they all follow the same pattern and reflect my buyers.

These buyers are instead just like i once was and wanted their sites to get to the top of google.

Plus im not into hyping my stuff and defining successful is generally in the eyes of each individual!

Tom Brite

[Bill Jeffels]

Originally Posted by Tom Brite

Hey Dot,

Sorry but i don't really have a style of copy writing. I do for my niche sites etc but they all follow the same pattern and reflect my buyers.

These buyers are instead just like i once was and wanted their sites to get to the top of google.

Plus im not into hyping my stuff and defining successful is generally in the eyes of each individual!

Tom Brite

Hey Tom,

I don't think your seeing the point in what Dorothy is saying and what she told you to do is a crucial part of writing great copy.

When you find someone that has wrote a succesful letter or message you take that letter/ message and write it out in your own hand writing with a pencil and piece of paper. It doesn't matter if it takes an hour just do it.

Something amazing happens, the style and flow of that person begins to be neurologically embedded in your mind.

Now, you'll have to do this more than one time, but the more you do it the more your copy will flow.

You say your not into "hyping your stuff", could that be part of the problem?. I'm not saying to go overboard but you need a USP or something to get some kind of attention.

Take care,

Bill Jeffels

[Raydal]

Originally Posted by Tom Brite

Hey,

Was just looking over my current wso (found here) and realized it really probably isn't converting as well as it should and my copy sucks!

Tom Brite

I got banned for mentioning my WSO in a post. Maybe you'll be luckier than
me.

-Ray Edwards

[jukeboxhero]

"With this WSO as said before you will instantly after reading be able to find 1000's if not more sites where you can leave your backlinks and get a high class authority backlink which will skyrocket your google rankings and mean you can over take your competitor in just a short time.

I am even going to show you exactly how you can see all of your competitors backlink sources and can then within a few minutes get a backlink on each and then you are 110% guaranteed to rank higher than your competitor.

Im going to show you places and methods that will get your backlinks to stick and going to disclose to you the most hidden and highly guarded sites that angela and paul would never release to the public, But now is your chance to get your hands on them!"


Okay, where to start with just this small section of copy that I yanked.....

#1 That whole first paragraph looks like one of those really choppy foriegn articles you get for .50 cents....

Here's a quicky I through together, i'm no copy expert, but this would get my attention way better....

I'm going to show you:

How to quickly and easily locate 1000's of sites to leave backlinks (You won't believe where these gems have been hiding) that could skyrocket your Search engine ranking and send your traffic through the roof.

My sneaky little little system for uncovering competitors backlinks, then swiping them for you own (Within days of execution your competitors will be left scratching their heads thinking WTF?)


Angela and Paul's worst fricken nightmare...I'm going to reveal the sites that these guys wouldn't share with their own mother.

jkb

[Tom Brite]

Originally Posted by Bill Jeffels

Hey Tom,

I don't think your seeing the point in what Dorothy is saying and what she told you to do is a crucial part of writing great copy.

When you find someone that has wrote a succesful letter or message you take that letter/ message and write it out in your own hand writing with a pencil and piece of paper. It doesn't matter if it takes an hour just do it.

Something amazing happens, the style and flow of that person begins to be neurologically embedded in your mind.

Now, you'll have to do this more than one time, but the more you do it the more your copy will flow.

You say your not into "hyping your stuff", could that be part of the problem?. I'm not saying to go overboard but you need a USP or something to get some kind of attention.

Take care,

Bill Jeffels

Okay maybe i shouldn't have over looked it so much! Thanks!

Plus maybe i do need a little hype then... after all it is a great product if i do say so myself! lol

Originally Posted by Raydal

I got banned for mentioning my WSO in a post. Maybe you'll be luckier than
me.

-Ray Edwards

Ouch! Don't want that to happen nor do i want anyone here buying it... i just looking for some help to improve on my copy! Not such a crime really!

Originally Posted by jukeboxhero

"With this WSO as said before you will instantly after reading be able to find 1000's if not more sites where you can leave your backlinks and get a high class authority backlink which will skyrocket your google rankings and mean you can over take your competitor in just a short time.

I am even going to show you exactly how you can see all of your competitors backlink sources and can then within a few minutes get a backlink on each and then you are 110% guaranteed to rank higher than your competitor.

Im going to show you places and methods that will get your backlinks to stick and going to disclose to you the most hidden and highly guarded sites that angela and paul would never release to the public, But now is your chance to get your hands on them!"


Okay, where to start with just this small section of copy that I yanked.....

#1 That whole first paragraph looks like one of those really choppy foriegn articles you get for .50 cents....

Here's a quicky I through together, i'm no copy expert, but this would get my attention way better....

I'm going to show you:

How to quickly and easily locate 1000's of sites to leave backlinks (You won't believe where these gems have been hiding) that could skyrocket your Search engine ranking and send your traffic through the roof.

My sneaky little little system for uncovering competitors backlinks, then swiping them for you own (Within days of execution your competitors will be left scratching their heads thinking WTF?)


Angela and Paul's worst fricken nightmare...I'm going to reveal the sites that these guys wouldn't share with their own mother.

jkb

Thankyou thankyou thankyou... now that is what i call help and i know what you mean by it flows alot better than my bodge copy job.

Thanks again and will change it now.

Tom Brite