I need someone to rewrite an EXISTING sales letter ASAP

[Peter Helps]

Hi everyone,

I need someone to rewrite a sales letter for me. Right now, it's not converting very well. if you are interested, send me a pm and I'll send you a link to the sales letter.


Thanks,

Peter

[MontelloMarketing]

Peter, Peter, Peter...

Now how is anyone going to know if they're interested if they don't know anything at all about the product... the niche... the budget... the timeframe?

Come on... these are the basics. The bare minimum information a professional is going to need. At least give them that much!

[Peter Helps]

Sorry about that. I didn't give the sales letter for a reason. However, here are some basics:

1. The letter is converting at 1.29% and that's on affiliate email traffic. (out of 387 visitors, I have 5 sales). Here's the problem. It's for a set of strategies on a DVD that's priced on there for $97 but they get the coupon at the checkout that they can apply which will make the cost of the DVD $0. Basically, it's the micro continuity model where I give them a free dvd. So, I'm not happy with those conversions.

2. Target audience: real estate investors and agents.

3. The timeframe. Well, I need it as soon as possible.

4. Budget: I'm not sure what a good budget would be.

Let me know if you have anymore questions.

Vin, I think one of your students does copywriting for me. I hear great things about you.

Peter

[MontelloMarketing]

If one of my students writes for you then tell him to do it!

Off hand it sounds like the order process is part of your problem. Just from your explanation it sounds confusing.

[Kyle Tully]

Originally Posted by MontelloMarketing

Off hand it sounds like the order process is part of your problem. Just from your explanation it sounds confusing.

That's what I was thinking.

1-2% ain't all that bad on a $97 product... and if they're confused and don't realize it's actually free then that would explain things.

'cause you should easily get 10-20% MINIMUM on these types of offers.

But 5 sales doesn't really mean much. You need about 30 to be statistically relevant.

[Peter Helps]

Vin,

I would tell him but he's on vacation. Vin, I sent you a pm.

Kyle, I agree with you and would to get up to that number.

Peter

[Dr Dan]

Originally Posted by pk80356

DVD that's priced on there for $97 but they get the coupon at the checkout that they can apply which will make the cost of the DVD $0. Basically, it's the micro continuity model where I give them a free dvd. So, I'm not happy with those conversions.

does sound confusing and I would drop the coupon and make the 97 with a strike in it and put free etc on the main page to prevent confusion. Are you doing a weekly video program with it? Are you following Russell's micro c program?

[Alexa Smith]

What's the purpose of the "coupon" if the product is actually free?

[Peter Helps]

The coupon was there to make the affiliate look good. For instance, the dvd costs $97 but the affiliate will give the prospect a coupon to make it free.

I changed the sales page today and removed the coupon. I made the DVD free and the checkout shows FREE DVD. We'll see if the conversions improve. Hopefully, it will get better.

Peter

[Cherilyn Woodhouse]

Peter;

Hope that works out for you! I've replied back to your PM. Hopefully the coupon issue improves your conversion rate, but there are still some other things with your copy I would love to help you improve.

Good luck, and talk soon!

- Cherilyn

[Astounding Writing Coach]

Hi again Peter,

Yes, there are still some things copywise I would change, too. I got your sales letter and reviewed it. Would like some more information about your investors and agents. Behavior wise they would feel motivated to get your free DVD if you used different language motivators. It's how the brain works.

When we use certain copy, it actually stimulates different parts of the brain. (I think I already told you that I am a brain dialog researcher as well as a copywriter.)

Typically, the male brain is interested in 'beating the competition' and power. So, you would use more power words. Also, the male brain needs to hear specific words of acknowledgement of ability to feel motivated to act.

The female brain is interested in relationships and connecting. Also in feeling respected and approved of. She responds better to different types of words.

But for your market, you are predominantly getting men, right? Men are typically more aggressive thinkers than women. However, there are always exceptions.

So, in your copy talk more about the men getting power and feeling appreciated. There's more to it than that. If you are interested in more info, PM me. Sorry I didn't hang with you last night. It was too late for me to stay up any later to do more on your letter.

Hope to hear from you.
Susan