How would you improve this squeeze page

[Simon Cad]

Hey guys

I have my twitter squeeze page, I have the opt-in form above the fold, but would somehow like to get my ecover above the fold too...

What would you change on this page. Any suggestions/comments are very welcome.

FREE Twitter Flock Report

Thanks everyone!

Si

[MarkAndrews IMCopywriting]

Text column to the left, opt-in box to the right.

Page looks a bit 'cheap'.

Give it a redesign.

Too snowed under to give a long winded response today - sorry.

[Alexa Smith]

Originally Posted by scadwal

What would you change on this page.

1. I'd sort out the page-loading problem caused by the hot-wiring from c.statcounter.com

2. I'd change the colour of the headline and take out the Capital Letters At The Start Of Every Word which delay reading-speed

3. I'd switch the opt-in box to the right-hand side of the page as observed above

4. I'd increase the size of the print that says "Your contact information will never be shared by any third-party"

5. I'd substitute the word "with" for "by" in the sentence mentioned above, and take out the hyphen between "third" and "party"

6. I'd insert a space between the words "competition" and "and"

7. I'd completely reformat and change the content of the "bio information" box: I understand why you want to give some, but there's certainly no need to start every word with a capital letter there, your "web" link is truncated, and I don't think your prospects need to know that you like football and that you're a "human beatbox performer" (whatever that is), etc.

8. I'd specify much more clearly that what you're offering access to is a FREE download: you need to clarify better what people are getting in exchange for their contact details

9. I'd try somehow to address the concern/awareness many people increasingly have about Twitter now closing down the accounts of people blatantly abusing their service for "marketing"

10. I'd check the punctuation for consistency and style (e.g. whether or not you're using an upper-case "T" for "twitter", whether you really need all four of the exclamation-marks on the page, and so on)

Please take this as "observation" rather than "criticism" but I think it really looks terribly amateurish at the moment. I wouldn't dream of taking it seriously. Sorry.

[Simon Cad]

Wow thanks for your awesome help!

Well i've got my head down and worked on the points you have brought up, hopefully you should see an improvement:

The Twitter Flock - FREE Report

My adwords roadmap squeeze page usually achieves around 50% opt in rate, so i've worked in around the same kind of formula:

FREE Google Adwords Success Roadmap eCourse

Thanks again!! More of your honest opinions are appreciated as always!

[Alexa Smith]

Wow, you've done that quickly. I think it's enormously improved, from amateurish to professionalish! Well, I would say that, wouldn't I?

Good luck!

[MarkAndrews IMCopywriting]

It looks a darn sight better to what you had before - well done!

Originally Posted by scadwal

Wow thanks for your awesome help!

Well i've got my head down and worked on the points you have brought up, hopefully you should see an improvement:

The Twitter Flock - FREE Report

My adwords roadmap squeeze page usually achieves around 50% opt in rate, so i've worked in around the same kind of formula:

FREE Google Adwords Success Roadmap eCourse

Thanks again!! More of your honest opinions are appreciated as always!