Please help with my booklet headline

[Astounding Writing Coach]

Okay all you amazing headline experts. Need more help on a headline for a promotional booklet.

One of the services I offer is writing promotional tips booklets. This works well for business people who do conventions and need some promotional material to hand out to potential new clients. The booklet fits into a #10 business size envelope for mailing, too. In the back of the booklet I write my client's business contact and promotion material. So, this is a great tool for building relationships with a new lead and the lead holds onto the booklet because of the valuable information within it.

Typically, I write tips that help a business do it's job easier, improve profits, reduce expenses, etc. Often times, I will get a tip from a celebrity in the niche, too. So, it's a much better promotional piece compared with a magnet or keychain.

The booklet headline I need help creating for this project is for the loss prevention industry. Loss prevention (or theft that occurs in retail stores) includes employee theft, shoplifting by thieves coming into the store (they aren't customers because they don't pay for the merchandise), vendor theft and inadvertent accounting errors.

In this particular project, I personally interviewed grocery retail managers. They told me stories about actual thefts in their store. The booklet contains accounts of these actual stories. No store names will be used in the booklet to protect the identify of the store. The information will be very valuable to grocery stores who are unaware of the theft occuring outside of their conscious awareness. And, with the economy being the way it is, theft is up. So, this is a hugely important topics to grocers.

Loss prevention is a unique niche. If you talk online about their preventative measures, those who are stealing from the store will then know how to work around the preventative measures. Obviously that causes complications for the stores theft prevention programs. So, this booklet will only be offline, in a paper copy booklet, saddle stitched and handed to interested persons. (Sometimes I can make them into digitial versions, too, so execs can e-mail a copy to prospects. But not this time.)

I sometimes sell thousands of copies of a booklet to one company who then uses the booklet for an incentive to renew a membership, a promotional giveaway, a training manual, as a sales special enticement to buy more product, etc..

So, I have initially come up with this title. Please help make it punchier.

10 Real Grocery Store Shrinkage Stories: Thieves Sneaky Tactics Revealed - Simple Solutions to Keep it From Happening To You

The word "shrinkage" is an industry term known by all the retailers. This booklet will only be seen by retailers so I use their lingo in the title.

Thanks again for your ideas!
Susan

[Alex Cohen]

Hi Susan,

This is a bit pithier. And gets "how to" into the headline ...

10 Grocery Store Shrinkage Stories: Thieves Sneaky Tactics Revealed – And How To Keep Them From Happening To You

Alex

[SamKane]

1.Where's The Money? ---Are You Being Robbed By Your Employees

2.10 Ways To Increase Your Profits and Reduce Shrinkage

3.How Thieves Are Sneakingly Taking Your Store's Profits...
10 Grocery Store Horror Stories

[jjjroy]

Shrinkage - Are Your Grocery Profits Sneaking Out The Door?
10 Real-life Horror Stories and How to Keep Them From Happening to You

[aceshigh]

Grocery owner reveals remedy to reduce Shrinkage - and not the kind between your legs!
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They all laughed when I said I knew a way to reduce shrinkage - but not when I showed them my produce!
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Who else wants to eliminate the embarrassment of getting shrinkage - especially when it happens in your grocery store!
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sheaatteee....now come on...that's funny!!! ;-)

[CopyMonster]

Quickly, how about...

10 Real Grocery Store Shrinkage Stories, 17 Thieves Sneaky Tactics Uncovered and 3 Simple Solutions to Stop It Happening To You Now

"Uncovered" is more dramatic. More akin to some investigation that blows conspiracy wide apart. Compare with "Revealed" which gives impression of some illusionist's secret to a magic trick.

Changed "keep it from" since it implies they're not experiencing it now ie. prevention. "Stop It" implies that they are experiencing it (they just may not know it) ie. cure, plus as added bonus, it flows better "simple solutions to stop".

Added numbers to boost "realness".

You might also think about reworking with a dollar amount for the shrinkage costs. As they say "money talks".

[mariner7]

Thought I'd already posted this:

STOP LOSS: 10 of the Most Sneaky Ways Thieves are Shrinking Grocery Store Profits!

[Astounding Writing Coach]

Wow! You all have great ideas! I love Warrior Forum geniuses. Thanks again! You're the greatest!
Susan