Dare I ask for another review?

[Frazier]

I posted a thread asking for a review on a sales page for an informational product and was delighted with the constructive criticism and advice that came back.

Dare I ask for review on another product?

I know it's a busy forum, so I'll just post the site and hopefully someone will get around to critiquing this one as well. I'll be patient and look forward to all responses.

Home-Staging, Sell Your House Quickly-Even in Today's Market


Thanks,
Frazier

[KenThompson]

Hey Frazier,

Actually it's a damn fine job, I must say.

I'll offer a few things that I would do if this was my site...

1. Remember not everyone uses a high resolution monitor setting. So with that in mind, you're close to having a distracting clutter effect, like claustrophobic. I don't necessarily think you're there, but almost.

But it is a good idea for reducing the overall length of the copy. So I'd go through it and really try to eliminate anything not absolutely necessary.

You have a lot of graphics, maybe slightly too much. Graphics are great for getting attention and slowing down the reader. But you have two order graphics before you even get to the meat of the product. I would eliminate at least one of them and possibly both and replace one with a different but relevant graphic.

2. Next I would go through the copy with a paring knife. Make it ultra slim. Here's an example from the headline area:

This step-by-step guide will walk you room by room through your house helping you prepare it for showing and a profitable sale.

That's a tad wordy. How about this... ?

Detailed guide takes you room by room: How to prepare for showing PLUS make a profitable sale.

That's along the line of a news headline. Stripped down with only the facts. People online skim and scan, that's a fact, and hitting them with wordy and long sentences and paragraphs compels them to start skipping or leaving.

Anyway, the point is to really tighten up the copy.

Otherwise, this rocks. I like it.

Good luck!

[Frazier]

Thanks for the input Ken.

Working on being less wordy and more meaty with the content, still have a ways to go, but it's so much easier having folks like yourself critique it and point out specifics.

Thanks much,
Frazier

[Collette]

Like Ken, I think this copy needs a lot of tightening. A LOT.

I like the "clean lines" of the layout, but so many graphics are distracting. I found my eye constantly drawn away from the copy to some graphic or the other. With the reader's eyes going left to right to down to side - you're making it a lot of work for them to focus on your message.

I'm also not a fan of the green headlines and the drop shadow. That particular color makes me feel like I should be reading about yoga or zen or saving the rainforest. Doesn't convey "money" for me (if that's what you were aiming for). The drop shadow, I just find distracting.

Watch the run-on sentences and "passive voice" in your copy. It's sucking the energy out of your message. I'd also rearrange the order of the copy items in your sidebar to enhance your credibility elements.

And tie your bonus in to the main product. "Turn past money-management mistakes upside down" implies that you're talking to the foreclosure market. Which may be a sub-section of your readers, but may well turn off those who aren't. And your main body of copy that precedes the bonus has gone in a whole different direction.

Also, "Get Your Complimentary Copy Today!!!!!" made me expect a sign up form for a freebie. Again - distracting slowdown.

Copy on the order form is weak. Look at some of the successful order forms (don't have to be in your market). Go thou, and do likewise.

Overall, the flow needs work, too. You get us going in one direction - and then you switch or reverse. Example here:

sub head: You say, "Understand that concept and you're one step closer to finding the buyer willing to pay your price!"

(reader thinking, "Buyer willing to pay my price!? Yeah! Excellent! Exactly what I want! Let's get going right ..." )

*sound of squealing brakes*

Because you just broke into that forward momentum with, "But let’s not pack up the dog and start loading the truck just yet…"

And segue into 'hard work concept' of "There’s still much to be done..."

(reader thinking, "Oh. I thought you were going to make it easy for me...)

You jump around in your talking points, too. You're talking about housing markets, and untrained realtors, and understanding purpose of staging, and housing market, and staging techniques, and knowing or not knowing interior design, and buyer reaction, and "probably" having fun learing to stage, and housing market, and...

You get the picture.

Complete each talking point and allow one point to lead naturally into the next.

For example:
- The housing market is at its lowest point in decades.

- In just a couple of years it has switched from a sellers' market to a buyers' market.

- This means that buyers can be very choosy.

- It also means that sellers have to work harder to attract buyers willing to pay their asking price.

- Most sellers can't sell their homes for the price they want.

- Because these sellers don't know the "professional's" secrets to attracting the buyers they want.

- And there ARE secrets.

- Such as Secrets 1, 2, 3.

- The most important secret is presenting your home the way a buyer wants to see it.

- That's called "staging".

- Staging is the main secret used by professionals.

- Because staging gets you your asking price, especially in a tough market.

And so on.

You've got some good basics to work with here, and some obvious design skills. Clean up, trim, and tighten, and you'll be in pretty good shape.

[Frazier]

Collette,

First, thanks for the in-depth review of the page. You and Ken both hit on the same problem-tighten it up- you also pointed out that it wanders from the flow and gave some excellent suggestions, on how to keep the copy flowing. I will break down both reviews and make adjustments as suggested.

Thanks,
Frazier

[Scott Murdaugh]

Here's a big one...

I just skimmed the copy (it is a little wordy) and I saw no risk reversal...

Having a solid guarantee in place, especially for a digital product, is a MUST.

The longer the better. Most customers won't ask for a refund if the product delivers value, and the improvement in conversions is going to skyrocket compared to the amount of refunds you'd get.

Also, I barely noticed this little bit, because I was scanning...

Those properties on average sold after 28 days on market after they were staged, which is 85% less time on the market.

That's a HUGE benefit right there, with specific data and a reliable source... I'd make sure that part gets read, I'd probably even play around with adding it to the headline.

-Scott

[Ripped]

Overall it is good, but I do believe there's too much stuff going on, on the page.
I don't like the overall layout, it's hard to follow with all the graphics. The graphics/images that you have put throughout the sales page don't blend in right with the page.

I'd suggest you to go with a cleaner layout