"Enotional language" for bodybuilding/weight loss niche

[julesbrad]

I am looking for some help as I am a novice copywriter and would really appreciate some help regarding the persuasive language used for my sales page.

Having being told to use 'emotional language' in sales letters to improve conversion rates, I am simply looking for lists of such words as examples.

Could you please list examples of the words I should be placing in my writing to help connect with the readers.

Thanks

[BrianMcLeod]

Originally Posted by julesbrad

I am looking for some help as I am a novice copywriter and would really appreciate some help regarding the persuasive language used for my sales page.

Having being told to use 'emotional language' in sales letters to improve conversion rates, I am simply looking for lists of such words as examples.

Could you please list examples of the words I should be placing in my writing to help connect with the readers.

Thanks

Same question:

I've been banging my head against the wall for weeks on end, desperately searching for a solution that would rescue me as a novice copywriter stuck with bland, boring language on my sales page.

I was told in no uncertain terms that I needed to pump up the "emotional language" if I wanted my sales to soar. What I need is a high-velocity, power-packed list of words to juice up my copy with pizzaz and the kind of firepower that makes the words leap right off the page and sears them into a reader's brain.

If you'll lay down a few of your most powerful secrets, I'll pledge right here and now to pound them into the skull of my readers with no mercy.

--

Of course, that's a ridiculous message I've written above, but it's just an exercise to try and amplify the emotional conveyance in word choice.

In bodybuilding/fitness, you can use substitutions like:

Lose weight = melt fat, shed pounds, incinerate, burn, drop, transform your body

Build muscle = pack on rock-hard muscle

definition = shredded, ripped, lean

Then there's the aspect of tweaking the "pain":

Fat blob, doughy, pudgy, skinny, rail-thin, weak, hardgainer

Study fitness and bodybuilding magazine. Note how some headlines pack a wallop and engage your mind with very little effort - they just pull you in.

Hope this helps,

Brian

[colmodwyer]

Grab a copy of Words (and Phrases) That Sell from Amazon. Handy little tool to have by your computer.

Colm

[AlanCarr]

But don't bother with "More words that sell", somewhat lame compared to the original



B.

[mariner7]

Your letter reads quite well, although it does give me the impression anyway, that fitness can be gained in 1 hour.

Obviously I can learn in an hour what I'll need to implement 3 times a week for probably 3 months before I get the results I want, but I'd make that a bit clearer for your readers. You don't want them to think you are insulting their intelligence.

As for emotion, the problem they face by being unfit is a lack of energy, poor health and a not so rosy future. Painting a picture of that future will be powerful.

Describe to them how feeling vibrant from being in shape will make them better parents, better workers and give them better relationships.

I'd also include some text if you can for the before/after pictures highlighting these changes in their own lives.

Have you seen anything on P90X?

Matt

[julesbrad]

Thanks for all the advice - much appreciated.

Words that sell and Phrases that sell have now been ordered from Amazon.

Especially liked Brian's reply - I started reading it and was thinking
"Why is this guy asking for advice ? His response is great" LOL

[Bill Jeffels]

For weight-loss I would use emotional charged words like embarrassed or humiliated.

Tell a story of how someone was overweight and there was that one party or amusement park when they went to go on a ride or sit in a plane seat and they wouldn't fit in the seat because they were so overweight.

They were so embarrassed and humiliated, every one was looking at them. Then one day they discovered this amazing secret and they lost 32.7 pounds in 8 weeks with a New and easy diet plan.

Take care,

Bill Jeffels

[CDarklock]

You want emotional appeal for this niche? Check here:

TESTOSTERONE MUSCLE | Unapologetic Muscle-Building Elitists

These guys really push the right buttons.

[williamspd]

@BrianMcLeod - that's a great answer to the original poster, and a terrific technique. I'm just chuckling now at the 'fingers of fury' bit in your profile ;-)

I'm just curious as to why 'More words that sell' is mentioned above as being somewhat lame compared to 'Words (and phrases) that sell' - I was tempted to buy both. Does anyone have an emotional warning against it, or shall I just cast my few hard -earned pearls before the Amazon swine?