How is this for my first squeeze page? Advice for a newbie please.

[bertuseng]

Hi, I recently decided I am going to start building my very first list. Got my aweber up and running and made my first squeeze page with my very limited copywriting knowledge and experience.

I am giving away a set of 17 free internet marketing courses. I don't have a video yet on my squeeze page, but am thinking of putting one on. So far I am getting about a 10% opt in rate.

I was wondering if anyone could please advise me on my headline, copywriting and other general improvements I can make on this page. I have very limited web design skills and don't want to outsource for this squeeze page.

Any advice or critique would be much appreciated for this newbie. Thanks.

BTW. the squeeze page I am talking about is the first one in my signature.

[Mr.Tambourine]

While it is good ..... try putting a copy of the form above the fold, with something like "In a hurry ? Opt in immediately" ..... Also, try increasing the content with testimonials.... Lengthy sales pages convert better than their short counterparts.

[bertuseng]

Thanks, I will try that. What about the quality of the courses I am giving away?

[Kevin AKA Hubcap]

Bertuseng

Your squeeze page looks good. As suggested earlier place the opt-in above the fold. In fact you can have two. One above and keep the one you already have.

I did notice some confusing language when you say "Yes, there is no catch"

Change that to "There is no catch".

Also you might want to try a version of the page with a video.

Kevin

[Kevin Lam]

Bert,

For some reason, the page took about 6 seconds to load and when it did, the opt-in form didn't show up until I refreshed the page. Could have been a freak coincidence.

I also agree to have another opt-in form above the fold. Place it right after the post-headline:

"Yes, there is no catch! You get $520 worth of Money Making Resources for FREE!"

A matter of fact, just REMOVE "Yes, there is no catch!" entirely. You're already making people skeptical with that comment.

As an attention grabber, I would just get right to the point and say:

Build a successful online business with FREE high quality training products...

or

Build a successful online business with high quality training products for FREE...

Add some numbers to your headline:

...Successful In Any Online Business In Just 7 Days... | In Just 2 Weeks...

Pick one. You can even say 21 days. It's all still very believable depending on how you pitch your USP.

Make sure your opt-in boxes are centered. Just add margin:0 auto; for your opt-in box table tags in line 232 within the "style" command.

I can get really anal about a lot of other details, but it's good enough. Not bad.

[Bill Jeffels]

I think the bullets are pretty good.

I will also say the same thing about the opt-in form above the fold. I just have a question about your headline. I think it is pretty good but this maybe something to think about.

"Get All The FREE Marketing And Training Resorces You Need". My guess is that after they opt-in your going to sell them something to do with IM. But if you promised them that they can get everything for free... that's going back on the promise in your headline.

Just a thought.

Bill

[Alexa Smith]

Hi Bertus,

Originally Posted by Kevin Lam

A matter of fact, just REMOVE "Yes, there is no catch!" entirely. You're already making people skeptical with that comment.

I agree with that, and Kevin's other points above.

No need to refer to "catches" here. It's like people running cash-gifting scams and online surveys stressing that their opportunity is "legit". Simply raises the possibility that it might not be.

Also, I think that most people will actually start reading at the word "Finally" and I would either take away or move somewhere lower down the couple of lines above that, which won't be noticed where they are.

Well done: I've seen a lot worse than this, for a first squeeze page! (Opt-in box needed at the top, though, as mentioned by others above).

[Dainis]

Correct: "Yes, there is no catch!" needs to go. Opt-in above the fold. How 'bout some testimonials? These are really great suggestions for you, man. I'm so impressed with this forum! :-)

The graphic with all the pictures needs a border or it needs to be positioned to "flow" better visually. The white space is a bit goofy and alignment builds trust. Maybe your face on the left and the books on the right...not sure, but tops of things need to line up with other tops of things as do left and right edges.

White space is like a river. It needs to flow.

Edges need to be aligned.

These are very simple quick graphical changes.

Center the opt-in at the bottom, it's left aligned in my browser.

also, figure out how to pre-sell them. Mention things like "my clients" or something like that in the copy. Subtle things that create an in for you for future purchases.

[shirland]

Originally Posted by Bill Jeffels

I think the bullets are pretty good.

I will also say the same thing about the opt-in form above the fold. I just have a question about your headline. I think it is pretty good but this maybe something to think about.

"Get All The FREE Marketing And Training Resorces You Need". My guess is that after they opt-in your going to sell them something to do with IM. But if you promised them that they can get everything for free... that's going back on the promise in your headline.

Just a thought.

Bill

Good observation and comments. I would agree that testimonials will be a great addition to the page. Is there a limit to the amount of ebooks you should give away initially? Is it better to promote the best one and then give away the other one free with additional purchases.

[dtendrich]

Hey, a couple of things:

First off, you obviously put some effort into this, and it shows. I think a bit of polishing and you're good to go.

-The top of the site is very cluttered - I'd clean it up because my eyes are going crazy trying to decide what I should read/look at first.

-I think your sub-head is a better headline, because it's very specific:

"Absolutely NO catch! Receive over $520 in money making resources TODAY for FREE!"

That's more intriguing to me. Only I'd put the "absolutely no catch" at the end instead of the beginning.

And then I'd put each e-book on top of the description, because my eyes keep wandering to the pictures and I'm having trouble reading the text.

Best of luck,
David

[Jo_Shua]

Originally Posted by Kevin Lam

"Yes, there is no catch! You get $520 worth of Money Making Resources for FREE!"

My exact thought! I was reading the squeeze page, and when I saw that, then, I headed right back over here to make that comment. Let me give another reason why you should not use that phrase...

You immediately create skepticism about your offer (it is the same as saying -- this is no SCAM), you are also making a false statement.

And if you make a false statement, then, that puts the word NO in your readers head. They will click that lil' red X in the upper right hand corner, or that back arrow in the upper left hand corner.

Why?

Because there IS a catch: their personal information. If you want their email, then, you must sell them as you would if you wanted $97 of their hard earned money. People do regard giving away their email address as a form of payment, and therefore, there is a 'catch'.

Also, I would try to convey the feeling of 'quality' without using the word quality.


JC

[Daniel Scott]

I'm not surprised your opt-in rate is so low... this is WAAAY too long.

Here's the secret I've found with squeeze pages... you need to keep them short, sharp, and snappy ("zippy", as Vin would say).

A short but powerful headline... optin-box above the fold... and 3 - 6 killer bullets.

That's really all you need.

I've seen some sexy looking ones that have had custom graphics for optin boxes etc... but I'm not sure if that improves conversions or not.

With squeeze pages... less is often more. Keep it brief, simple, and to-the-point... and you'll get far better response rates.

-Dan

[The Copy Nazi]

There's too much stuff on that page. If you're thinking video - stick it above the fold in the middle with the opt-in box to the right with just a few lines of copy below. The way you've done it, you're giving away the farm before you're getting them to opt-in. K.I.S.S. - keep it simple stupid. Like this one of mine - Killer Sales Video- Top Quality Custom Marketing Video, Promotional Video, Video Trailers, Video Tours, Video Testimonials and how's this for a video squeeze -

YouTube - Play me Full-Screen with the Volume Up!

[The Copy Nazi]

And Bertus...get rid of the word "ebook" from all your copy. Why? Read this - http://www.warriorforum.com/war-room...ll-ebooks.html

(Just saw you're not a "War Room" member. You should be) It reads -

Dare I suggest this forum never again sell a downloadable product?

Nah.

But you should never sell ebooks. Ever.

What do I mean?

The word "ebook" is literal poison to your sales. There are very very few markets and situations where using it will be to your benefit at the present time.

If you are currently selling "ebooks" then make the change and watch conversions increase.

In the internet marketing community "ebook" has almost become a curse word. So many years of scammy "ebook" after ebook has resulted in a jaded devalued view of them.

On the flipside, 7 years ago the general public had no clue what an "ebook" was but today they do...problem is, it's not what you're selling. "Ebook" in most people's minds is what Amazon offers for $6.99. The minute your prospect sees the word "ebook" you have conditioned them based on prior experience...and it's not good.

When they hit your price tag and it's $50 for an "ebook" they'll be clicking "back" before you know it.

The solution?

Banish "ebook" from all of your sites.

Digital Report
Whitepaper
Downloadable Report
Virtual Book
Report
Guide
Instantly Downloaded Guide
etc.

All of the above never create the vision of a $6.99 "ebook" that the public is now aware of...and you can ask whatever price you like as you've positioned yourself outside of the "ebook zone".

[David Raybould]

Bertuseng-

This page is WAY to long and
involved to be an effective
squeeze page.

Sorry to disappoint.

But look on the bright side,
it's going to be pretty easy
to fix.

First up, rethink your headline
and subhead. They need to be
a lot snappier, and they need
to make the reader excited
about what's on offer. Also,
asking the reader to "sign up"
is going to be a mistake. Sounds
too much like a commitment.

Second, definitely remove "no
catch." it makes it sound like
yes, there definitely is a catch.

Third, if you're going to have
graphics, make them high quality.

The images you have, especially
the ecovers above the fold are
terrible. People won't know what
they are... and who wants to
"sign up" for something if they
don't even know what it is?

Fourth - make the whole thing fit
above the fold. Do like Daniel says:
a handful of bullets, a compelling
call to action and a snappy headline,
and you're golden.

There's more, but that should be
enough to get you some much
improved results.

Good luck with it.

-David Raybould

[bertuseng]

Thanks a lot for all this invaluable advice. I made a few changes, but I am still going to make a few more. Still thinking of the headlines, I got the current headlines form a friend that is a very good copywriter, so I thought it would do for now, but I will rethink it a bit. And I will probably lower the amount of guides, to about 3 and then maybe try and sell the rest as a once off offer when they sign up. Could that work?