Finished My Salesletter But......

[jedijames]

Hello Everyone,

I just finished my salesletter but before I start to get my JV's promoting it I would like to know your opinion on something.

Do you think it is ok using a story to make the letter convert better even if it's fake. I mean I am selling a product againced acne but I never had it in my life. I see many letters that use personal expirience examples to show empathy.

What is your opinion on this?

[bwj292]

It really depends what the product is about and what your intentions are.

If I write a sales page which sells a product that allows me to make $500 a day online then I would include this in the sales letter, however if I wasn't making $500 a day online but still claiming to then I personally don't think it would be fair or right.

Why not get a few people to view the product for you and give testimonials. For example, those people who have had acne or have acne and like your product because it works will be giving an honest opinion.

[BrianMcLeod]

Here's the difference:

My name is James.

I was a former Acne sufferer and here's how I cured my acne.

---

Let me tell you about Sasha...

Imagine a girl so humiliated by severe acne that she dropped out of college...

(Story follows about Sasha's humiliation, discovery of the secret, and current freedom from acne, working on her Masters, etc).

...

See the difference?

[Daniel Scott]

This is one of those gray areas... but here's my take...

Embellishing a story for more emotional impact... fine.

Embellishing the results (or saying you have had results yourself, if not true)... not okay.

I'm not a lawyer but I suspect making false claims like that could land you in trouble with the FTC.

However... I've seen the whole "I'm in danger and hiding out and that's why I can't sell this for too much longer" angle used quite successfully.

We all know it's not strictly true... but it's still exciting.

In your example... I wouldn't say I had acne if I didn't. You could use a story about how a friend of yours had it... and how it effected their life... and how you wanted to help them out (similar to what Brian was saying).

Anyway... that's my take. Hope it helps.

-Dan

[Chris Hunt]

Great distinction Brian!

[Dean Dhuli]

Hi Chris,

I'm going to PM you with an example of the type of story copy
Brian suggested.


Hope that helps,

Dean.

[Kevin-VirtualProfitCenter]

Would an average reader believe it is true? If so, then you are presenting a falsehood as if it were true. Not sure I would do that.

[Chris Hunt]

That's awesome Dean, very compelling copy.

[In Dean's copy the person talking refers to someone they *knew* who had a problem and solved the problem]

Would you say that in either case *being* the person or *knowing* the person has and element of 'here's some proof' which is the unethical part if made up?

Brain uses the word 'imagine', as it's read it still creates the pictures and the person in our head. The story does its job, we can then create credibility another way. What do you think?

[Alexa Smith]

Originally Posted by jedijames

Do you think it is ok using a story to make the letter convert better even if it's fake.

No, it isn't ok. It doesn't depend on anything. And it isn't a "gray area", either. Nor is it necessary (as you can see from Brian's post above).

Originally Posted by jedijames

I mean I am selling a product againced acne but I never had it in my life.

How do you think people sell Rolls Royces and Lear jets? How do you think I sell a weight-loss product? Do you think deceiving people helps you to sell more, in the long run? (I'm asking seriously: I know there are some people who actually believe that).

[Dean Dhuli]

Chris,

In the letter I showed you also, the person writing that letter
actually did not suffer from the problem... but, he had the
expertise to solve that problem.

So we're narrating a third person account of the problem
and making the two persons' paths meet in the copy.

You can also do the same, since you also personally never
suffered from acne.

Now, given that acne is a very, VERY common problem,
I don't think there's anything wrong in making up a story
recounting an acne sufferer's ordeal.

The important thing is that you should not lie or distort
the facts about the product and its performance.

Be careful not to make promises that your product
cannot fulfill.

If you avoid doing that, I think you're pretty safe.

Cheers,
Dean.



[

Originally Posted by Chris Hunt

That's awesome Dean, very compelling copy.

[In Dean's copy the person talking refers to someone they *knew* who had a problem and solved the problem]

Would you say that in either case *being* the person or *knowing* the person has and element of 'here's some proof' which is the unethical part if made up?

Brain uses the word 'imagine', as it's read it still creates the pictures and the person in our head. The story does its job, we can then create credibility another way. What do you think?

[Jo_Shua]

Brian hit the target's bullseye!

There is no 'gray area' -- only white and black.

It is either truthful or it isn't.

Still, there is no need to lie. Why? Well, take a look at Brian's post again. His story about Sasha is powerful and moving... Guess what! You can truthful stories like this all over the net, and if it is your personal product (or a client's), then, get some testimonials BEFORE you write the sales letter. This way you can build that social proof


JC