Please review my first landing page

Citre · 09-25-2009, 02:41 PM

Hey, Warriors. Here's my first landing page ever! I'm hoping I didn't screw up too much, but I'm sure there are a ton of things I can improve upon. I've yet to make a single sale, so I'm hoping that it's just my page that needs tweaking. I already have about 15 articles published.

You can find the URL in my signature. Yes, the niche is erectile dysfunction. I guess men aren't as desperate to fix such a crippling problem as I thought they'd be.

Thanks, guys.

EDIT: Hmmm, my signature doesn't seem to be showing. I'm assuming it's because my account is brand new. You can view the site at www . stayingerect . com

Citre · 09-28-2009, 03:37 PM

No one has any feedback for my landing page? There has to be SOMETHING wrong. I mean, it's my first sales page (or pre-sale page). Thanks again, warriors.

Dainis · 09-29-2009, 04:46 AM

"Can Your Erection Last For HOURS?"

---OUCH!

Read The Amazing Techniques That Turned My Erectile Dysfunction Into An Erection That Functions!

---Like

Better: Discover
Discover The Easy To Learn
Learn...in 24hrs

Your partners sick of your lack of performance.
---Partner's = partner is
...one partner or many?

lack of = pitiful sad disappointing

You know it, (I know it -- no you don't you don't know me), she knows it, (everybody knows it -- no one knows and if someone has this problem, they may even be making excuses to their wives while trying to figure things out on their own...everybody DOES NOT know...I've clicked away), but it doesn't have to be that way. I've done all the research for you and found (the only thing -- a great thing, perfectly easy thing, not "the only" because you can't prove a claim like that) that's worked for me and what's GUARANTEED to work for you, too! (ok)

I'm Ready To Receive All Of The Following:
Guaranteed Erections That Will Last For As Long As I Want
Tons Of Mental, Physical, And Emotional Exercises (please don't sell me on the weight of the exercises)
The Secrets To Achieving Harder Erections
A Much Happier Sex Life
NO MORE ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION -- EVER!

forget the and more, I'd say...

That's all for now, the stuff below the fold seems better, and I figured you'd be building a list...

Best,
Dainis

Citre · 09-29-2009, 03:04 PM

Dainis, thank you! I'm glad someone took their time to help me out. It's much appreciated. I've fixed all the things you told me to, and hopefully it'll help out my 0% sale-conversion rate. I'm surprised I missed the whole "partner's" thing. I'm usually pretty on top of my grammar; so, thanks for pointing that out, too.

As far as building a list goes, this is my first venture into IM, so I'm kind of taking it one step at a time. I don't really know anything about email marketing or what I'd offer to people for them to opt into my list. At the moment, I just want to see at least one sale. I'm beginning to think I've just chosen a bad product to promote with my 200 hops, 0 sales ratio.

09-25-2009, 02:41 PM	#1
Citre Warrior Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 4 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Please review my first landing page Hey, Warriors. Here's my first landing page ever! I'm hoping I didn't screw up too much, but I'm sure there are a ton of things I can improve upon. I've yet to make a single sale, so I'm hoping that it's just my page that needs tweaking. I already have about 15 articles published. You can find the URL in my signature. Yes, the niche is erectile dysfunction. I guess men aren't as desperate to fix such a crippling problem as I thought they'd be. Thanks, guys. EDIT: Hmmm, my signature doesn't seem to be showing. I'm assuming it's because my account is brand new. You can view the site at www . stayingerect . com

09-28-2009, 03:37 PM	#2
Citre Warrior Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 4 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: Please review my first landing page No one has any feedback for my landing page? There has to be SOMETHING wrong. I mean, it's my first sales page (or pre-sale page). Thanks again, warriors.

09-29-2009, 04:46 AM	#3
Dainis Active Warrior War Room Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Vienna, Austria Posts: 73 Thanks: 15 Thanked 9 Times in 8 Posts Social Networking	Re: Please review my first landing page "Can Your Erection Last For HOURS?" ---OUCH! Read The Amazing Techniques That Turned My Erectile Dysfunction Into An Erection That Functions! ---Like Better: Discover Discover The Easy To Learn Learn...in 24hrs Your partners sick of your lack of performance. ---Partner's = partner is ...one partner or many? lack of = pitiful sad disappointing You know it, (I know it -- no you don't you don't know me), she knows it, (everybody knows it -- no one knows and if someone has this problem, they may even be making excuses to their wives while trying to figure things out on their own...everybody DOES NOT know...I've clicked away), but it doesn't have to be that way. I've done all the research for you and found (the only thing -- a great thing, perfectly easy thing, not "the only" because you can't prove a claim like that) that's worked for me and what's GUARANTEED to work for you, too! (ok) I'm Ready To Receive All Of The Following: Guaranteed Erections That Will Last For As Long As I Want Tons Of Mental, Physical, And Emotional Exercises (please don't sell me on the weight of the exercises) The Secrets To Achieving Harder Erections A Much Happier Sex Life NO MORE ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION -- EVER! forget the and more, I'd say... That's all for now, the stuff below the fold seems better, and I figured you'd be building a list... Best, Dainis

09-29-2009, 03:04 PM	#4
Citre Warrior Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 4 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: Please review my first landing page Dainis, thank you! I'm glad someone took their time to help me out. It's much appreciated. I've fixed all the things you told me to, and hopefully it'll help out my 0% sale-conversion rate. I'm surprised I missed the whole "partner's" thing. I'm usually pretty on top of my grammar; so, thanks for pointing that out, too. As far as building a list goes, this is my first venture into IM, so I'm kind of taking it one step at a time. I don't really know anything about email marketing or what I'd offer to people for them to opt into my list. At the moment, I just want to see at least one sale. I'm beginning to think I've just chosen a bad product to promote with my 200 hops, 0 sales ratio.