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#1 |
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Active Warrior
Join Date: May 2008
Location: , , Canada.
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Your comments help tremendously ... lots of changes were made in the past 2 weeks.
Please take a quick look. :: AbMyths.com : Secrets of "The Truth About Six-Pack Abs" : Easiest Way to Defined Muscle, Oodles of Energy & Vibrant Health <<<Re-worked page Thanks so much! Scott PS: For comparison (if you're interested) here's the page from two weeks ago: :: AbMyths.com : Easiest Way to Six-Pack Abs, Defined Muscle, Oodles of Energy & Vibrant Health... <<<Unedited page |
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Last edited by saleswriter101; 09-26-2009 at 05:19 PM. Reason: add link to old page |
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#2 |
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The "Brain Eating" IMr
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: UK
Posts: 171
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Thanked 9 Times in 9 Posts
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I don't know if i am just "old school" but personally I wouldn't use them pictures at the top, it looks like their is to much going on in my eyes, you want to draw attention with the headline to get people to continue to read on. apart from that I think it is a job well done!
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I have always wanted to conquer the world but 2nd best was always to Conquer Internet Marketing!! Join Me?
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#3 |
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Active Warrior
War Room Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Ottawa / Moncton
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I love "The Truth About Abs" -- great eBook to promote..
Anyway, regarding the LP looks goood. Try to bring the contact info boxes higher up so people don't need to scroll down to fill in the info. At the end of ab secret #1 I would put an exclamation mark (!) It's really good as is... the only other thing I would mention (if you could fit it in somehow) is why these secrets are different/better than the million of other products/etc that claim to dop the same things and add a bit of urgency. Cheers and good luck! David |
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#4 | ||
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Dare To Dream
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Dallas, Texas, USA.
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Hey Scott,
Got your PM. It's great that you took some of my advice... but it's still missing some important elements and perhaps too much stuff. Here's what you DON'T need: - EXTRA information starting with the details after the first opt-in form. - TESTIMONIALS - you're just trying too hard to validate what you're promoting. Instead of: Quote:
Instantly Grab The THREE Most Powerful Secrets To Getting Ripped Abs Faster And Easier Than Humanly Possible! Instead of: Quote:
You'll learn the secrets to having amazing, sculpted abs and astounding health that the professionals are using RIGHT NOW... Remove EVERYTHING after the first opt-in form. Well, leave the privacy statement and links obviously. Anyway, good luck. | ||
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| The Following User Says Thank You to Kevin Lam For This Useful Post: |
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#5 |
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Dare To Dream
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Scott, you've incorporated what I suggested, but you're messing it up big time! Just remove this whole thing: YOU (and 99% of Health Professionals) EVER Thought
The flow is really bad. Just use what I gave you. It will yield much better return. Or even this one: Instantly Grab The THREE Most Powerful Secrets To Getting Your Abs Ripped & Chiseled Faster And Easier Than Humanly Possible! You're not taking my advice on the sub-headline and starting with "Available FREE nowhere but here", but that comes off as a load of crap. "nowhere but here?" Come on. If you MUST mention the "#1 best-selling", then at least open up with this: From the #1 best-selling abs program: "The Truth About Six-Pack Abs" comes the greatest secrets to training and conditioning your body to develop stronger muscles, faster recoveries and reduce injuries. |
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#6 |
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Active Warrior
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Vienna, Austria
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Kevin, really great suggestions. Wonderful!
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#7 |
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Active Warrior
Join Date: May 2008
Location: , , Canada.
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My page has changed a lot because of the 'dead on' help you've so graciously given, Kevin. I thank you so much!
I've made more changes per your suggestions. Sorry for not replying sooner. Hadn't checked this thread after it dropped so far down the list.. (I've subscribed to it now.) Will keep this thread up to date re. changes and success. -- Scott :: AbMyths.com : Secrets of "The Truth About Six-Pack Abs" : Easiest Way to Defined Muscle, Oodles of Energy & Vibrant Health |
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#8 |
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Dare To Dream
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Hey buddy,
Most important thing is whether it bring results. Great advice is only valuable if it is implemented and it works. Good luck. |
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#9 |
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Formerly Cherilyn Lester
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Chilliwack, BC, Canada
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Ahh, you're a newfie! That explains the blue back ground, it reminds you of the ocean. LOL!
Just kidding of course, I love the culture in NL - I live in BC, we only have other countries' cultures here. ![]() I was bored, and feeling generous, so I did you a favour. :: AbMyths.com : Secrets of "The Truth About Six-Pack Abs" :Easiest Way to Defined Muscle, Oodles of Energy & Vibrant Health You don't have to use it, but if you do, I wouldn't mind you letting me know how it does ![]() Good luck! - Cherilyn Edited to add - if you want all of the files and everything, shoot me an email and I'll zip it up and send it to you. |
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"Cheryl is always there when I need her, ready to produce fantastic copy, even on short notice. I highly recommend her services for anyone looking for quality copywriting." - Jason James |
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| The Following User Says Thank You to Cherilyn Woodhouse For This Useful Post: |
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#10 |
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Active Warrior
Join Date: May 2008
Location: , , Canada.
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Wow Cherilyn, SO nice of you!
Your page is a LOT easier on the eyes. I like what you've written, too. Thanks so much! I will be sure to let you know how it works out. All best, Scott (Here's a link to the page Cherilyn created (the other url seems to be down at the moment): :: AbMyths.com : Secrets of "The Truth About Six-Pack Abs" :Easiest Way to Defined Muscle, Oodles of Energy & Vibrant Health ) |
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#11 |
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Formerly Cherilyn Lester
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Let me know if you want the background graphic, I can email it to you
![]() Sorry about the site, my host had some issues (apparently all index files on that server were corrupted, and I had to re-upload) but it should be all good now
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"Cheryl is always there when I need her, ready to produce fantastic copy, even on short notice. I highly recommend her services for anyone looking for quality copywriting." - Jason James |
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