Not Another Hypnotis! Advice and Suggestions Please.

[keystothemind]

Hey
After totally scrapping the old, terrible version, with some decent help from this forum (and 'cdarklock' who did some brilliant work on it before dropping off) I have totally rewritten the copy for my Advanced Hypnosis Training Course.

It is selling, and the students love it, but I am sure the copy could be a lot better.

I have been testing and observing minor changes in the copy, playing with a lot of variables (the new header increased average visitor length by about 25%, but could probably be better too), and I think now is the time I brought in the pros - you


A few ideas in the copy, like the running metaphor, may need to be redone, you know what it's like when an idea hits you, and you need to try it out, but I am not sure whether they are relevant enough.

Oh, and the payment structure, as you can probably tell, is designed to play up the instant option, which naturally sells a lot more than the monthly.

The videos are a bit shabby, so I may run a test without them, but I like the personal element they give.


Any comments, criticism or advise will be hugely appreciated.

Master Hypnosis Now, Advanced Hypnosis Training and Certification

Cheers, and thanks a lot.
Nathan

PS
I can't wait to hear what you guys say, I am set to make the changes you suggest, so please share your thoughts.

[TimCastleman]

Do you want to know what made me click off the site in under 10 seconds?

You.

Seriously, you look like your about 16-17 years old (no older than your mid to early 20's).

Many people see hypnosis as a serious thing. You want to do stage hypnosis or street hypnosis fine, but if you are trying to TEACH clincial hypnosis you need to change those videos today.

Put yourself in better packaging. Seriously, you need a suit and it needs to look professional looking and you need to look like a professional.

I didn't make it past the video so that is all I can help you with.

Tim

[Alexa Smith]

I do completely endorse the point above.

When trying to come across as a figure of authority, "world's youngest" (not to mention most informal in presentation!) is not something to promote. Take it from someone who has a similar problem, and knows!

[TimCastleman]

Nathan -

Please understand something when reading my above comments. I love hypnosis - I learned it when I was 8 years old. Seriously, that is when I bought my first info product on hypnosis but waited until I was 18 to get serious about and sat on it for a few years until I was 22-23.

When I met with clients I always was in a suit and tie. When I was on the news - suit and tie. Again your packaging or your look means a lot, you could do the same thing you are now with the videos BUT do it in a suit and you're much better off.

Or do a powerpoint or demo with you off screen.

Just trying to help - really.

Tim

[ghyphena]

Thirded. Perceived authority can be a big problem and you don't need to make it worse for yourself by drawing massive attention to the issues mentioned above.

- Gil-Ad

[keystothemind]

Hey everyone.
You are all very right about the professional angle and the age issue.

The reason why I left those videos there is that they show me, not me pretending to be someone I'm not.
I taught my first live course the other day, turned up in jeans and hoodie and still got 19 glowing testimonials out of the 20 students (one had to leave early)
BUT
Point very much taken.
I will definitely invest in a proper business suit (I think it's well needed) and probably run a split test with and without video at all, to see whether one is really needed.
Thank you for the advice in terms of that, I did need to hear it.

What about the other areas on the site?
I am curious as to what you think of the other elements of the page, content, post scripts, stories?

Thanks again for the suggestions.
Best regards
Nathan

[Joshua Houghton]

Hi Nathan,

As you know from our talks on skype I completely agree with the advice given above as well. Credibility and looking profession can go a long way. When I first got into hypnosis I played the whole youngest Hypnotist in card and it got me nowhere. It can seem cool because we are doing something at a young age that most don't achieve until a much older age.

Still, the truth of the matter is credibility is everything and how you present yourself. As I've mentioned to you before once you upgrade to the suit and change the way you present to yourself, that along should cause you to see a spike in sales. Either way, you know I respect you and enjoy your work.

Your Friend,
Josh

[Ross Bowring]

1) Your video at the top is too long.

Way too long. Make it a 30 second tease for reading the letter and cut in footage of you teaching. Get some better lighting. (You look like you're hiding in a cupboard.)

Like has been said, throw on a jacket. Slick back that hair I'm so jealous of and sell, sell, sell.

2) Buffer the skepticism that comes with being a teen by incorporating as many people of more mature age into your marketing as possible. Get video of you teaching techniques to an older crowd. If you do this already that's great. But "show it" in your marketing.

When people see mature folk respecting you, they're more prone to look past your age.

Right now, the grunge kid is the only other guy on your page... get a 40 year old... 50... 60...

Increase the "mean" age of your marketing. Right now it's around 18-22. Hoist it up an extra 15-20 years.

3) Stop mentioning your age throughout your letter.

There's three times before the bullets where you mention your age and update what you'd done by that time. It is impressive, but it also draws attention to... your age.

People don't need a chronological run down of your accomplishments. Weave them into the copy under cover of night. Let people guess at your age but be certain about your teaching ability.

Hope this helps.

Ross