So I assume my headline was not attractive enough...

[geekology]

I tried in vain in pulling people to critique on my landing page . Seeing the number of responses, I assume either my headline was not attractive enough or there was some problem with my question itself.

In WF, I see that generally there are lots answers for a critique request but mine received only one. So before I request you to critique my landing page, may I know what was I missing in my previous thread that turned people away from answering.

May be it looks like a foolish question but before I learn to understand the psychology of buyers, I need to understand the psychology of my copywriter friends (you!).

[The Copy Nazi]

Originally Posted by geekology

I tried in vain in pulling people to critique on my landing page . Seeing the number of responses, I assume either my headline was not attractive enough or there was some problem with my question itself.

In WF, I see that generally there are lots answers for a critique request but mine received only one. So before I request you to critique my landing page, may I know what was I missing in my previous thread that turned people away from answering.

May be it looks like a foolish question but before I learn to understand the psychology of buyers, I need to understand the psychology of my copywriter friends (you!).

What's the benefit in your Online QTP Training? That's what you have to get across. I've neither the time nor inclination to look at the rest of the copy. Someone?

I Guarantee In 4 days I'll have YOU - writing your own QTP tests, parametrizing scripts, adding checkpoints and VBScript - or I'll Eat My Shorts!

That's just off the top of my head and I've no idea what QTP is. Get the idea? Your other headline is a Dead Duck.

[The Copy Nazi]

Originally Posted by Paul McQuillan

Mal, what is it with you and the shorts eating?

Go to McDonalds for God's sake

I Guarantee In 4 days I'll have YOU - writing your own QTP tests, parametrizing scripts, adding checkpoints and VBScript - or I'll Join the Hare Krishnas! ™

[Alexa Smith]

Originally Posted by geekology

I tried in vain in pulling people to critique on my landing page . Seeing the number of responses, I assume either my headline was not attractive enough or there was some problem with my question itself.

I saw your thread and your web site ... but decided not to answer because I don't know what QTP stands for and I thought that perhaps people who do are a different breed/species, and that I therefore wasn't really qualified to have much of an opinion on it anyway - sorry.

(I do sometimes wear shorts, but they're not edible ones. Not even by Mal and I hear he'll eat anything.)

[Dainis]

Hey, the Hare's make great I mean great coconut chocolate balls around here and give them away in exchange for donations. They are really really good!

[Dainis]

If it's you writing, I suggest writing as you instead of writing in 3d person. Maybe put your face up there. Sure, make some crazy copy, if you want, but I also suggest testing. Make 4 versions or so and see how they perform.

[geekology]

The main problem I see is that, I didn't define the purpose of "QTP" in my thread.
For the Warriors here, QTP is a automated software testing tool from HP, generally used by large organizations for application/product testing. It is one of the widely used tools for black box (means where you don't know what is going inside the code) software testing.

I believe, explaining about QTP in my landing page would not serve any purpose because the potential clients already know about it, what it stands for and what we can do with it.

Originally Posted by Paul McQuillan

Yeah, that headline put me to sleep.

It was so long and uninteresting that I never read it. Get straight to
the point-

My Sales Page is in Cardiac Arrest- HELP!

I was trying to be 'different' At least the current one was good enough to fetch a response from you. See I am improving.
But yes, "ll take care.
btw... Any comments for the landing page now?

Originally Posted by Metronicity

What's the benefit in your Online QTP Training? That's what you have to get across. I've neither the time nor inclination to look at the rest of the copy. Someone?

I Guarantee In 4 days I'll have YOU - writing your own QTP tests, parametrizing scripts, adding checkpoints and VBScript - or I'll Eat My Shorts!

That's just off the top of my head and I've no idea what QTP is. Get the idea? Your other headline is a Dead Duck.

Ok, I "ll try to get the benefits more clearly visible, probably with some bullets and accompanying graphics.

Originally Posted by Alexa Smith

I saw your thread and your web site ... but decided not to answer because I don't know what QTP stands for and I thought that perhaps people who do are a different breed/species, and that I therefore wasn't really qualified to have much of an opinion on it anyway - sorry.

(I do sometimes wear shorts, but they're not edible ones. Not even by Mal and I hear he'll eat anything.)

I have defined it now above. Also, May be you can comment on the structure of page, pricing section etc.

[Scott Murdaugh]

I saw your thread and your web site ... but decided not to answer because I don't know what QTP stands for and I thought that perhaps people who do are a different breed/species, and that I therefore wasn't really qualified to have much of an opinion on it anyway - sorry.

What she said.

I know I told you I'd do a quick video for you, but on this I'm clueless about the product and the market and don't have time to put in the research for a free critique...

I apologize,

-Scott

[Bill Jeffels]

Ok, one thing that I do like is that you did a price comparison... other training facilities are charging $2200 for this course but your prospect is not going to pay that... $349 is what they are going to pay... that's cool, subhead that draw some attention to that... in my opinion that would be a big thing.

All things considered of what QTP is... to be honest I don't really need to know what it is... because your sales message makes it sound really boring.

And if the training is boring that's cool as well. But there is one question that needs to be answered... What Is This going To Do For Me?

Please hit your prospects with some benefits that they are going to get by taking your course.

This is what you have... "This 4-day training course will help you understand and work comfortably with QTP – by the end of training you would be able to write your own QTP tests, parametrize QTP scripts, add checkpoints to them, use descriptive programming..."

Ok, but what does this mean to me? Am I going to make more money? Am I going to save time? Am I going to be?...

And I'll reiterate what was already said... write your sales message like your talking to 1 person... just you and your propect in a coffee shop... now convince them to take your course.

Best,

Bill Jeffels

[ppcpimp]

instead of ranting about how bad your headline was. I will go critique your LP

[Collette]

I have no clue what QTP is, either, and judging from your explanation, I'm assuming your prospects are geeks.

Still, even geeks need to be sold. Your copy is heavy on features and light on benefits.

For example, using this quote: "This 4-day training course will help you understand and work comfortably with QTP – by the end of training you would be able to write your own QTP tests, parametrize QTP scripts, add checkpoints to them, use descriptive programming"...

Draw the prospect of the benefits they'll get. Since I know nothing about the subject, I'm going to just pull some sample copy out of my.... er, hat... and say:

"Imagine... in just four short days, you'll know everything there is to know about this incredibly popular testing tool. And unlike ordinary dry textbook tutorials, you'll work hands on to see and run each element of QTP.

Our training methods make it exceptionally easy to learn exactly how to write your own QTP tests, parametrize QTP scripts, add checkpoints to them, use descriptive programming and more...

So if you've been struggling with the complexities of QTP, your struggles are over. After just four short days of our interactive and in-depth training, you, too can be using QTP like a pro!"

Okay, so it's not rock 'em sock 'em copy, but it's not as dry as the original.

Things like writing QTP tests, parametrizing (is that a word?) scripts, etc are done for a reason. And that reason is the benefit of learning to do these things.

Lets say, for example you add checkpoints to QTP scripts to catch bugs before they screw up metrics or whatever.

The feature is "you'll learn how to add checkpoints"

The possible benefits of "you'll learn how to add checkppoints" correctly and effectively would be to save money, time, frustration, and look like a hero to your fellow geeks.

All humans LOVE getting benefits. And geeks are humans, too. Just make them geek-flavored benefits.

[Collette]

Ok... slightly off topic, COMPLETELY weird, and slightly creepy...

when I hit "submit" the entire post posted in HTML.

*cue The Twilight Zone music*