Please give me some feedback

[jkiley]

Please take a look at this page and give me some feedback. Thanks

www.craigslistreader.com

[John_S]

It's fairly solid. Although some would, I don't mind the "Horse for Sale" headline when you have a horse for sale.

This should be a decent baseline "control" to start testing against. Then the question becomes what to test.

First would be a headline articulating the benefit. Your reader is already searching multiple listings and locations. So what?

What you offer is Searching All Of Craigslist At Once. But that, too, is weak. The reason? The killer app of search is FIND.

You don't yet have your killer app. At least, I don't think so from a read through.

You're selling a search tool. Customers are buying a find tool. Everything in the video is about search. That's the work. I want find: The Payoff. Search without find is a no sale.

You Can Now Search All of Craigslist In Seconds And Find Only What You're Looking For, With Much Less Wasted Effort

...Win the bids you lose out on now
...Post multiple ads automatically, without rejection
...And discover the secret tool Craigslist experts use

The opening should play up the frustration of Craigslist and that you understand what you're supposed to be selling. It's unclear you do right now.

I would test different videos, specifically using working scenarios depicting the tool in use, possibly along with a user interview. The tutorial thing is not doing as well as you probably think it is.

Nobody cares about how to at this stage, then want a "why to" video. With search tools notoriously bad at only giving the user what they really want, I'd stick to establishing the thing works and achieves user goals -- not dwell on the programmer's implementation model and exploring the nooks and crannies of the dropdowns.

I do not want 250 hits and six wins. I do not want to engage in 250 correspondences to figure out which six will win. If anything, I want to concentrate on the winning bids and double the wins, not worry about the others.

Showing a real user outbidding and out performing the competition in three easy steps (once the app is all set up) beats a hundred and one how-to steps. That's a turn off.

[Alex Cohen]

This looks like a good app to go vertical on. Target specific groups of prospects. From the copy, it sounds like police departments and used car dealers would benefit greatly.

The headline states a weak benefit. Instead, the headline should state a strong benefit and have an element of curiosity.

For example, if you were just targeting used car dealers, a headline like this would be good ...

"Who Else Wants To Save $4,000 Buying Inventory In The Next 7 Days?"

The $4,000 would be replaced by the actual amount your prospect has a reasonable chance of saving.

Alex

[John_S]

go vertical on

Good point. You may want to really focus in on what you're really selling and get that copy under your belt before you go after niches.

That said, if you go vertical, I suggest you make the product deeper as well. Specific templates and tutorials only for that individual niche. Then test higher price points.

[jkiley]

Thanks guys for your feedback. I do have a question. I am learning marketing, so please bear with me here.

When you say go vertical, then all I need to do is create 2 or 3 sales copies like the one I have? One copy for car dealers, one for website designers, one for writers, one for antique dealers...etc? and have the same product on each. Each one of those will have their own videos? really? is it that simple or am I missing something?

[Alex Cohen]

When you say go vertical, then all I need to do is create 2 or 3 sales copies like the one I have? One copy for car dealers, one for website designers, one for writers, one for antique dealers...etc? and have the same product on each. Each one of those will have their own videos? really? is it that simple or am I missing something?

That's pretty much it. Customize each sales letter to that particular target market.

Just be sure to focus on the benefits a particular market will respond to. For example, I'm sure used car dealers and freelance writers would use this software to obtain a different outcome.

Is this new software that you just recently wrote and are bringing to the market? Or are you a reseller? In either case, you should develop a comprehensive marketing strategy before deciding on specific tactics.

Alex

[jkiley]

I am a software developer and the software has been around for over a year now. I have been updating it and making it better. It used to be free, but not anymore.

In all this process, I am learning marketing and looking for a marketing partner as well.

Originally Posted by Alex Cohen

That's pretty much it. Customize each sales letter to that particular target market.

Just be sure to focus on the benefits a particular market will respond to. For example, I'm sure used car dealers and freelance writers would use this software to obtain a different outcome.

Is this new software that you just recently wrote and are bringing to the market? Or are you a reseller? In either case, you should develop a comprehensive marketing strategy before deciding on specific tactics.

Alex

[David Babineau]

Hi there,

A few points. Your headline "Search Mutliple Locations of Craigslist" seems a bit bland to me. Talk about the benefit, not the feature. What will searching multiple locations help me do?

Another point. In your testimonials, you mention PC World and Life Hacker. That's really strong proof. I'd bring that up and support it with their logos (if you're allowed to). Could mention something right on top like "As featured in .... (show logos...)"

Also, I would change the following subheads, way too dry for me...

"So how much is it?"

& "Only $97"

Hope this helps!

Cheers,
David

[jkiley]

Originally Posted by BargainCopywriter

Hi there,

A few points. Your headline "Search Mutliple Locations of Craigslist" seems a bit bland to me. Talk about the benefit, not the feature. What will searching multiple locations help me do?

Another point. In your testimonials, you mention PC World and Life Hacker. That's really strong proof. I'd bring that up and support it with their logos (if you're allowed to). Could mention something right on top like "As featured in .... (show logos...)"

Also, I would change the following subheads, way too dry for me...

"So how much is it?"

& "Only $97"

Hope this helps!

Cheers,
David

Actually I took the "war room"'s sales page and made changes to it to make mine look like that little bit.

I really cannot think of good headers. I am a software developer and not a marketer.

[mark z]

Originally Posted by jkiley

I really cannot think of good headers. I am a software developer and not a marketer.

I suggest you to emphasize discount aspect to urge sale.
Something like strikethrough/overwritten "previous" prices ( $145, $126 ) before current one ($97).

Also, I would like to see ordering section marked in kind of bordered box.
You know what I mean, right?

Those two suggestion came to my mind first.

Hope that helped.
Good luck!

[Alexa Smith]

Originally Posted by mark z

Something like strikethrough/overwritten "previous" prices ( $145, $126 ) before current one ($97).

I accept entirely that there are a few (I suspect actually very few) marketers who have genuinely split-tested this way of presenting the price of their own new product and found that it does better.

But don't ignore the fact that there are also some people (I suspect actually rather more than many imagine) whose reaction to that is pretty negative: they find it difficult to believe that the product's really been previously offered at those higher prices and now been discounted, and it makes them wonder if the marketer might be lying to them ... and that's not a good thing to make people wonder.

In short, people often see through it and don't like it. It's one of those things which many people copy from many others who are copying it from many others, and so on, because everyone assumes that it "must" work for their product and they therefore don't test it and give themselves the chance to discover whether it may actually be costing them business. Just saying.

[John_S]

they find it difficult to believe that the product's really been previously offered at those higher prices and now been discounted, and it makes them wonder if the marketer might be lying to them ... and that's not a good thing to make people wonder.

This could be a whole other thread. However, there are more compelling ways than a strikethrough. The problem: You have to have actually sold it for those prices.

(hint: not a problem when you test pricepoints)