First Sales Letter - Please Review

[softstor]

I am offering a service and wanted a sales letter. I just hired a copywriter that I found on the Warrior Forum.

The copywriter suggested to go with a simple clean design and wrote me the content. I then placed the content in a sales letter template that I purchased from a different WSO.

My sales letter page is at Sales Letter and the order form is at Order Form

I would be interested in hearing any comments about the design and content.

[Bill Farnham]

I'll take a shot at this...

Here's what I'm hoping your service offers based on reading your sales letter:

I create an ad, and you get it posted on 600 ad sites, and when it expires, you do it all again for free. Forever. For $14.95.

*When your listing expires, you’ll get an e-mail giving you the option to renew the ad…which is totally free.*

I can use banner ads, or text ads, or video ads, it doesn't matter.

Also...

Where do I submit my ad? And what do you want me to write in your 'short description' and also your 'long description'?

How are you going to use the title for my website? Does it need to be exactly the same as you see it in the browser?

How do I pay for this service? I clicked on the buy button but I have to give you a lot of personal information before I proceed and that gives me the willy's. I'd like to know what payment processor you are using. I see the credit card logos and the PP logo, but I'm not sure.

I'm not sure about a lot of things after reading your sales letter.

This might be a good time to think about expanding on the information, perhaps adding a few testimonials that the FTC won't freak out over, and perhaps a screenshot of what an ad looks like on one of these websites.

I'm aware you know exactly what your service does, but I sell left handed metric monkey wrenches and all this jargon makes my head spin so I get confused easy.

KJ