Would love a critique on this high ticket ebay item

[BBCMember]

I am selling a high ticket item (over $10k) on eBay and would love a critique. Since I only have one page in which to sell the item, I decided to take two angles on the same page. One appealing to those who want to make money, and the other appealing to those who want to reduce their stress naturally. However, since it is such a high ticket item, the buyer will most likely be a health practitioner who will make money with the item in their practice.

I do have a bunch of testimonials listed, but I don't really have story that I can base the sales letter on. Although I suppose I could find one. However, I am a bit short on time. The listing ends tomorrow, so I am being as efficient as possible.

I also have it on craigslist, and of course on craigslist I can cater to each approach separately with a separate listing.

Anyway, take a look at it and please give me some tough love via an honest and helpful critique.

Just search for item# 320434849753.

Thanks. Much appreciated!

[KenStrong]

You'll get more responses if you just copy and paste the link to the page.

[MarkAndrews IMCopywriting]

Here it is:

Quantum Biofeedback EPFX SCIO QXCI System - eBay (item 320434849753 end time Oct-18-09 18:06:08 PDT)

[BBCMember]

Thanks. I appreciate that, Mark. I didn't have enough posts to do it on my own.

Any thoughts?

[Paul McQuillan]

That is a hard to sell item. That copy needs a lot of work and
some research to even give a good opinion.

I don't know what it is. I would go into that right away. I would
not cut and paste the product description as it sounds to laborious.

Your testimonials are worthless without full names. "female, age 60"
does not cut it.

How will it make me $300 and hour?

I can't see someone buying this for personal use. The at home
business angle is a better bet. That way you can turn it into
an investment rather than a cost.

How I can make money is what I want to know.

It's worth more than $19,000? show me proof

I wish I could give you some better advice, but that is beyond my
skill level.


Paul

[Kay King]

The references to "hardly used" and to "used only 20-30 times" may work against you.

It's one thing to say a product is so good that you are now upgrading to an even better model....but this sounds as if "I didn't really find much use for it so I'm selling it".

The numbers cause a disconnect for me - aside from any problems with the copy itself. Going by the numbers you give, you earned $9k in two years when this product was new - why would it be more in demand two years later? There may be reasons - but they have to be believable and clearly defined.

It seems the buyer would have to use this product 46+ times to pay for it - but you are saying you had only 20-30 opportunities to use it in two years. If the numbers don't make sense, all the testimonials in the world won't sell a $14k product.

The concerns of buyers are benefits, applications, price and potential profit - compared to other methods available and to competition.

You may have addressed all these concerns later in the copy - my opinion was formed in the first part of the text...and I didn't keep reading as had I been interested in the product, I wouldn't have kept reading.

kay

[Loren Woirhaye]

I know what a Quantum machine is - a good friend of mine
worked for a guy who owned one and knew how to use it.

I was under the impression it was kind of "underground" and
not something you could legally sell in the USA.

Anyway - nobody is going to buy your Quantum machine unless
they already know what one is and what it does.

The appeal "make $300 an hour" is a stretch for a variety
of reasons I won't get into. Will it hurt you? no. But it
won't sell this item for you. Anybody who practices natural
health knows that clients who are able an willing to pay $300
out of pocket are no so easy to come by.... which is why,
I suspect, you find yourself selling the machine yourself.

Quantum treatments aren't covered by insurance, now are
they? It is, as far as I know, a sort of unclassified medical
device.

Tough sell on Ebay. Or Craigslist, though CL will give you national
visibility. Put out a press release (or several) about "Get a
Bargain On a Quantum (model number) Biofeedback Machine" -
use that to make sure just about anybody who is looking for
a second-hand machine in North America is aware you have one
to sell.

Even so, it could take a while to move this machine. I also
recommend you run some ads in alt-health magazines where
similar big-ticket healing machines are advertised; ie.
PAPIMI - Ion Magnetic Induction Therapy Machine

This is real world advice. Your issue is not copywriting -
it's locating a buyer with the money and the desire to
own such a machine already.

Good luck.

[BBCMember]

Originally Posted by Paul McQuillan

That is a hard to sell item. That copy needs a lot of work and
some research to even give a good opinion.

I don't know what it is. I would go into that right away. I would
not cut and paste the product description as it sounds to laborious.

Your testimonials are worthless without full names. "female, age 60"
does not cut it.

How will it make me $300 and hour?

I can't see someone buying this for personal use. The at home
business angle is a better bet. That way you can turn it into
an investment rather than a cost.

How I can make money is what I want to know.

It's worth more than $19,000? show me proof

I wish I could give you some better advice, but that is beyond my
skill level.


Paul

It is a challenge, I'll admit. I figured it might need some work, even though it is much more informative than most of the other auctions that I've seen for this same item. Was looking for some pointers.

Basically, it's a machine that can read your body and give you feedback on what's going on and helps your body heal itself naturally. I suppose I could convert the copy to every day English, but I figured that the ones that would put down that kind of money for it would be professionals who are in the business and already know what it is. I'm just giving them info as to the exact specs of this model.

Also, I did embed that YouTube video, which does a great job of explaining what it is and the benefits of using it.

With regard to the testimonials, that's what I was given. The one you mentioned was the only one that does not give a name, but some only give an initial. I figured some testimonials were better than no testimonials. I'm guessing that they wanted their privacy, but you're right, that's still no excuse.

The way it will make you $300 per hour is that is how much you will charge the patients for you to use the machine to read their body. Since it is a high priced and expensive item, it is rare, and therefore garners a high hourly rate. People pay it.

You're right. The average person will most likely not buy this for their home. I would guess that only a wealthy person who was familiar with this type of machine would choose to buy it. But the main target market is health practitioners who would buy it for their practice. So I agree with you on that one.

It's worth $19,000 because that is what the owner paid for it. And it's worth more than that if you market your services correctly and make many times your money back over time by serving your clients.

Just so you know, we have gotten a fair amount of offers, and one almost went through for an amount close to what we were asking, but I was not able to answer one of the prospective buyer's questions right away because I was traveling. So the buyer somehow got turned off and opted to not go through with it. Responding promptly is sometimes key in these situations.

Thanks, Paul. That advice helped.

[BBCMember]

Originally Posted by Kay King

The references to "hardly used" and to "used only 20-30 times" may work against you.

It's one thing to say a product is so good that you are now upgrading to an even better model....but this sounds as if "I didn't really find much use for it so I'm selling it".

The numbers cause a disconnect for me - aside from any problems with the copy itself. Going by the numbers you give, you earned $9k in two years when this product was new - why would it be more in demand two years later? There may be reasons - but they have to be believable and clearly defined.

It seems the buyer would have to use this product 46+ times to pay for it - but you are saying you had only 20-30 opportunities to use it in two years. If the numbers don't make sense, all the testimonials in the world won't sell a $14k product.

The concerns of buyers are benefits, applications, price and potential profit - compared to other methods available and to competition.

You may have addressed all these concerns later in the copy - my opinion was formed in the first part of the text...and I didn't keep reading as had I been interested in the product, I wouldn't have kept reading.

kay

First, I know I did not mention this, but this is not my machine. I am selling it for a friend/client. Unfortunately, there is no upgrade to this model yet, but that is a great idea. I see your point on the "hardly used" and "20-30 times." Some people may like that, but you're right, others might perceive that in a different light.

It's not that they did not find much use for it. It's that they changed the focus of their business. And the reason they only made $9000 in two years is that they did not market the machine or the service. They only offered it to select clients. Not sure why. I suppose not everyone needed it. They offer other services in their practice besides this.

Again, it is in demand if you let people know that you have it and you market those services, which they didn't really do. They were busy with the other services that they offered. So 46+ times should not be a problem if you market it correctly.

The benefits and applications are listed and are in the video that I have in the listing. And once you start comparing yourself to others, you bring yourself down to their level business wise. That's why Coke doesn't compare it self it anyone like Pepsi does. It doesn't have to because it's the best.

With regard to profit potential, since I did give them an example of an hourly rate they can charge, they can adjust that price to their market accordingly, and then run the numbers on there end. Each case will most likely be different, based on the practitioner's experience, their location, their education, etc...

And I do not see many listings on eBay that compare the product they are selling to their competition. They pretty much just list the item. That's the culture of eBay.

Thanks for the help, Kay. The numbers certainly matter in this type of listing.

[BBCMember]

Originally Posted by Loren Woirhaye

I know what a Quantum machine is - a good friend of mine
worked for a guy who owned one and knew how to use it.

I was under the impression it was kind of "underground" and
not something you could legally sell in the USA.

Anyway - nobody is going to buy your Quantum machine unless
they already know what one is and what it does.

The appeal "make $300 an hour" is a stretch for a variety
of reasons I won't get into. Will it hurt you? no. But it
won't sell this item for you. Anybody who practices natural
health knows that clients who are able an willing to pay $300
out of pocket are no so easy to come by.... which is why,
I suspect, you find yourself selling the machine yourself.

Quantum treatments aren't covered by insurance, now are
they? It is, as far as I know, a sort of unclassified medical
device.

Tough sell on Ebay. Or Craigslist, though CL will give you national
visibility. Put out a press release (or several) about "Get a
Bargain On a Quantum (model number) Biofeedback Machine" -
use that to make sure just about anybody who is looking for
a second-hand machine in North America is aware you have one
to sell.

Even so, it could take a while to move this machine. I also
recommend you run some ads in alt-health magazines where
similar big-ticket healing machines are advertised; ie.
LINK

This is real world advice. Your issue is not copywriting -
it's locating a buyer with the money and the desire to
own such a machine already.

Good luck.

That's great that you're familiar with it. I have never heard of it not being legal to sell in the US. If that were the case, I would not be involved. It's being done all the time. I will post a recent auction for this very machine (it was even 1 year older than this one) that sold for $13k here California just last month.

I agree that someone will most likely have to be familiar with the machine before they buy it. Anything is possible...but I would bet you're right in this case.

Not sure if I agree on your assessment about the $300/hr angle. I've certainly gotten a lot of response from Twitter promoting that benefit. They might not be easy to come by in certain cities, but here in LA, there are certain areas where they are more plentiful than one might think. And I do say UP TO $300/hr. Again, the reason why the owner (not me) is selling the machine is that they have switched the focus in their business.

I would not know if biofeedback treatments are covered for insurance. I am just assisting in selling it.

It may be tough to sell on eBay, but not impossible, as my next post will attest to.

A press release is a good idea. Thanks. I'll look into that. I was also thinking of doing some article marketing.

Running ads in alt-health magazines is another idea (thanks for the link), however it takes a while from the time you place the ad to the time it is actually in print, right? Also, not sure if the owner would be willing to pay for that, or wait for the ad to come out.

I have had a fair amount of bites, and one was real close to buying it, as I mentioned in a previous post. So the buyers are out there.

Thanks for the advice, Loren.

[BBCMember]

Here is the post I promised to make about a machine that was just like this one (it was actually 3 years old; this one is only two years old) that sold for $13,000 late last month, and the description of it was pretty simple, relatively speaking.

Below is the copy that was in their item description. It was just one paragraph in plain text, and they had one picture of the item that looked like it was taken from some distance away:


For sale is the EPFX/SCIO Quantum Biofeedback Device with a laptop that runs the most current updated software, 2009 Clasp 32. It is approximately 3 years old, runs perfectly and is maintained in excellent condition! Also included are the following accessories: a set of wrist and ankle straps and headband. You will also receive all the support dvds and instruction manuals. Also included is two hour phone consultation with me to talk about how to get started and work with the most updated software. Device and everything included will be shipped within 5 business days upon receipt of payment. Contact me with any and all questions. Buyer pays $500 transfer fees with Quantum Alliance if they choose. Buyer pays all shipping costs. This is top of the line Bioenergetic Medicine of the Future and will help reduce stress and guide you and your clients to healthier living! Deposit of $500 within 24 hours to hold sale (non-refundable).

If you'd like to see it, here is a pic of the listing (I whitened out the seller's name for privacy purposes):

http://bit.ly/3s8DVY

My auction was listed at the same time this was. Any idea why someone opted to buy this one, and not the one I have listed with extensive info, including a video that describes the machine and its benefits?