![]() | | ||||||||
| | #1 |
| Search Engine Warrior War Room Member Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 786
Thanks: 12
Thanked 265 Times in 54 Posts
|
Hello, I have been using the same headline on my site for over 6 years. You read that right SIX!! The conversions and SEO are really good so as you can imagine I was too afraid to change any for fear of "breaking" something. I finally took the plunge and redesigned the site so I am now more willing to test changes. I would appreciate some honest feedback regarding whether the current headline grabs the necessary attention. Heres' the URL www.swingtraderguide.com Thanks in advance for any feedback. This forum is always a helpful place to turn. |
| | |
| | |
| | #2 |
| Aldric Tinker War Room Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
Posts: 39
Thanks: 28
Thanked 8 Times in 8 Posts
|
6-year old headline? How about the copy? Has it been updated? On my view, I'd say the headline is ok. Isn't mind blowing? No. Is it awesome? No. But does it work? Only you have the statistics. ;-) Maybe, just my two cents, you may want to include the recent economic downturn into the headline. Something like strategies that survived the 2008/9 meltdown. Looking forward input from the rest. :-D |
| | |
| | |
| | #3 |
| HyperActive Warrior Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Watford, England
Posts: 268
Thanks: 4
Thanked 11 Times in 9 Posts
|
It's too wordy for me, it's doesn't role of the tongue like a good headline should.
|
|
The name is Bond.......Tom Bond
| |
| | |
| | #4 |
| HyperActive Warrior War Room Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Oxford, UK
Posts: 170
Blog Entries: 9 Thanks: 16
Thanked 60 Times in 38 Posts
| I Dare You to Invest the Time it Takes to Read this Swing Trading Guide and Not Learn to Make Real Cash in the Stock Market. Interested? Keep reading... is indeed quite wordy... not only are the words themselves a handful but the essential idea conveyed by the headline becomes cloudy. If you were to cut out "invest the time it takes to" and "learn to" you'd end up with: I Dare You To Read This Swing Trading Guide And Not Make Real Cash In The Stock Market. Interested? Keep reading... As far as I can see it doesn't change the message significantly... but it's much easier to digest. Ellipses might help, for clarity's sake, as well as some emphasis on "not": I Dare You To Read This Swing Trading Guide... And Not Make Real Cash In The Stock Market. Interested? Keep reading... Makes it a bit clearer, IMO. Gil-Ad |
|
Gil-Ad Schwartz
Last edited by ghyphena; 10-20-2009 at 04:51 AM. Reason: Bolded the sample headlines for readability purposes | |
| | |
| | #5 |
| Senior Warrior Member War Room Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Northern Hemisphere, for now.
Posts: 2,427
Thanks: 967
Thanked 1,227 Times in 732 Posts
|
I don't think the headline itself even an issue. You say: "The conversions and SEO are really good..." Since you're the one who determines what 'really good' means, why mess with that? I read an excellent sales page about seven years ago. I got friendly with someone at the company and found out it converts at around 5%. It's still up today just as it was back then. If I were in your shoes I'd leave well enough alone. |
| | |
| | |
| | #6 | |
| Search Engine Warrior War Room Member Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 786
Thanks: 12
Thanked 265 Times in 54 Posts
|
Thanks for all the feedback. When I say the headline is doing "well" that relative and is also in a vacuum since I don't have anything else to compare it to. That is why I am wanting to test. The redesign(graphics only) have improved conversions by 65% so I am now more convinced I can move the needle. I also know the headline is key to getting users to keep reading which is why I am starting there first. Quote:
| |
| | ||
| | |
| | #7 |
| Senior Warrior Member War Room Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: USA
Posts: 3,942
Thanks: 660
Thanked 808 Times in 332 Posts
|
All I can say is you're crazy if you don't start split testing headlines. It can pretty easily double your income from the page. Then keep split testing until you get it higher...
|
| | |
| | |
| | #8 |
| Search Engine Warrior War Room Member Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 786
Thanks: 12
Thanked 265 Times in 54 Posts
|
Yep, that's the plan but wanted to get feedback from people more skilled than myself for copy ideas. |
| | |
| | |
| | #9 | |
| Senior Warrior Member War Room Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: USA
Posts: 3,942
Thanks: 660
Thanked 808 Times in 332 Posts
| Quote:
| |
| | ||
| | |
| | #10 | |
| Search Engine Warrior War Room Member Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 786
Thanks: 12
Thanked 265 Times in 54 Posts
|
Thanks! This is really cool! Quote:
| |
| | ||
| | |
| | #11 |
| Senior Warrior Member War Room Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: USA
Posts: 3,942
Thanks: 660
Thanked 808 Times in 332 Posts
| |
| | |
| | |
| | #12 |
| Search Engine Warrior War Room Member Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 786
Thanks: 12
Thanked 265 Times in 54 Posts
|
This was also very helpful...gave me a good blueprint to follow. Never Forget AIDA When it comes to writing amazing sales copy, you should always think of AIDA. It’s a formula for writing your sales copy in general, but you can use it for headlines as well. A –Attention I – Interest D – Detail A – Action Let me explain AIDA using just one sentence; Always use a headline that demands attention, make your potential customer curious, include powerful details about your product and a call for action. Found it here. How To Write Amazing Sales Copy Headlines |
| | |
| | |
| | #13 | |
| Senior Warrior Member War Room Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: USA
Posts: 3,942
Thanks: 660
Thanked 808 Times in 332 Posts
| Quote:
How To Master The Art And Science Of Writing Ads And Sales Letters! This guy Michael Senoff has interviewed the living legends. | |
| | ||
| | |
| | #14 |
| Experienced Warrior War Room Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Canada
Posts: 1,314
Thanks: 613
Thanked 74 Times in 47 Posts
|
As it's been said before, I think your main focus should be on shortening it. It's a mouthful! And even made me slow down for a second to make sure I was reading it right.
|
| | |
| | #15 |
| Senior Warrior Member War Room Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: USA
Posts: 3,942
Thanks: 660
Thanked 808 Times in 332 Posts
| Some people like short, some like long... I've seen cases where both lengths have knocked it out of the park.
|
| | |
| | |
| | #16 |
| Active Warrior War Room Member Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 66
Thanks: 1
Thanked 11 Times in 9 Posts
|
Definitely split test. the headline now is a little wordy and doesn't flow but if its working well then I would mix it up and test. good luck. |
| Michelle Reynolds | |
| | |
| | #17 |
| Active Warrior War Room Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Vienna, Austria
Posts: 73
Thanks: 15
Thanked 9 Times in 8 Posts
|
Test test test, I agree! Swing Trading Can Preserve Your Wealth and Grow your Trading Account 20-30% Faster with Surprisingly Little Risk or Effort. Interested?.....Keep reading ...well, it might *work* but logically "little risk or effort" could mean little effort and a lot of risk, or you could have lots of effort and little risk. So, you may want the conjunction to work properly without any logical hiccups (even though some folks might disagree). ...I'm not nailing it right now...but "Effortlessly" could be in there. |
| | |
| | |
| | #18 |
| Real Estate Warrior Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Chicago Metropolitan Area
Posts: 3
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
|
I agree with a number of posts here. It needs brevity with punch. Only suggestion for the body would be to add the word volatility. It means a lot more in the current economic environment. Best of Luck. Sandbagger12 |
| | |
![]() |
|
| Tags |
| feedback, headline, honest, year |
| Thread Tools | |
| |
![]() |