Need honest feedback on my 6 year old headline

[searchnology]

Hello,

I have been using the same headline on my site for over 6 years. You read that right SIX!!

The conversions and SEO are really good so as you can imagine I was too afraid to change any for fear of "breaking" something. I finally took the plunge and redesigned the site so I am now more willing to test changes.

I would appreciate some honest feedback regarding whether the current headline grabs the necessary attention. Heres' the URL www.swingtraderguide.com

Thanks in advance for any feedback. This forum is always a helpful place to turn.

[cerava]

6-year old headline? How about the copy? Has it been updated?

On my view, I'd say the headline is ok. Isn't mind blowing? No. Is it awesome? No. But does it work? Only you have the statistics. ;-)

Maybe, just my two cents, you may want to include the recent economic downturn into the headline. Something like strategies that survived the 2008/9 meltdown.

Looking forward input from the rest. :-D

[TomBond]

It's too wordy for me, it's doesn't role of the tongue like a good headline should.

[ghyphena]

I Dare You to Invest the Time it Takes to Read this Swing Trading Guide and Not Learn to Make Real Cash in the Stock Market. Interested? Keep reading...

is indeed quite wordy... not only are the words themselves a handful but the essential idea conveyed by the headline becomes cloudy.

If you were to cut out "invest the time it takes to" and "learn to" you'd end up with:

I Dare You To Read This Swing Trading Guide And Not Make Real Cash In The Stock Market. Interested? Keep reading...

As far as I can see it doesn't change the message significantly... but it's much easier to digest.

Ellipses might help, for clarity's sake, as well as some emphasis on "not":

I Dare You To Read This Swing Trading Guide... And Not Make Real Cash In The Stock Market. Interested? Keep reading...

Makes it a bit clearer, IMO.

Gil-Ad

[travlinguy]

I don't think the headline itself even an issue. You say:
"The conversions and SEO are really good..."

Since you're the one who determines what 'really good' means, why mess with that? I read an excellent sales page about seven years ago. I got friendly with someone at the company and found out it converts at around 5%. It's still up today just as it was back then.

If I were in your shoes I'd leave well enough alone.

[searchnology]

Thanks for all the feedback.

When I say the headline is doing "well" that relative and is also in a vacuum since I don't have anything else to compare it to. That is why I am wanting to test. The redesign(graphics only) have improved conversions by 65% so I am now more convinced I can move the needle. I also know the headline is key to getting users to keep reading which is why I am starting there first.

Originally Posted by Paul McQuillan

How we feel about the headline is irrelevant, more so because you
say the ad is doing well.

Is it the headline that is causing the results? If the body copy is
still the same, just swap out the headline with a new one.

That will directly tell you if the headline is the key factor.

Try a new headline and go from there

[JasonParker]

All I can say is you're crazy if you don't start split testing headlines. It can pretty easily double your income from the page. Then keep split testing until you get it higher...

[searchnology]

Yep, that's the plan but wanted to get feedback from people more skilled than myself for copy ideas.

Originally Posted by JasonParker

All I can say is you're crazy if you don't start split testing headlines. It can pretty easily double your income from the page. Then keep split testing until you get it higher...

[JasonParker]

Originally Posted by searchnology

Yep, that's the plan but wanted to get feedback from people more skilled than myself for copy ideas.

Check this out. Brian Keith Voiles writing a headline Killer Copy by Brian Keith Voiles

[searchnology]

Thanks! This is really cool!

Originally Posted by JasonParker

Check this out. Brian Keith Voiles writing a headline Killer Copy by Brian Keith Voiles

[JasonParker]

Originally Posted by searchnology

Thanks! This is really cool!

Yep. Very cool The guy's a legend with loads of controls under his belt.

[searchnology]

This was also very helpful...gave me a good blueprint to follow.

Never Forget AIDA
When it comes to writing amazing sales copy, you should always think of AIDA. It’s a formula for writing your sales copy in general, but you can use it for headlines as well.

A –Attention
I – Interest
D – Detail
A – Action

Let me explain AIDA using just one sentence; Always use a headline that demands attention, make your potential customer curious, include powerful details about your product and a call for action.

Found it here. How To Write Amazing Sales Copy Headlines

[JasonParker]

Originally Posted by searchnology

This was also very helpful...gave me a good blueprint to follow.

Never Forget AIDA
When it comes to writing amazing sales copy, you should always think of AIDA. It’s a formula for writing your sales copy in general, but you can use it for headlines as well.

A –Attention
I – Interest
D – Detail
A – Action

Let me explain AIDA using just one sentence; Always use a headline that demands attention, make your potential customer curious, include powerful details about your product and a call for action.

Found it here. How To Write Amazing Sales Copy Headlines

Want to see the motherload of free copywriting training from the masters?

How To Master The Art And Science Of Writing Ads And Sales Letters!

This guy Michael Senoff has interviewed the living legends.

[David Mcalorum]

As it's been said before, I think your main focus should be on shortening it. It's a mouthful! And even made me slow down for a second to make sure I was reading it right.

[JasonParker]

Originally Posted by MJGrae

As it's been said before, I think your main focus should be on shortening it. It's a mouthful! And even made me slow down for a second to make sure I was reading it right.

Some people like short, some like long... I've seen cases where both lengths have knocked it out of the park.

[mreynolds]

Definitely split test.
the headline now is a little wordy and doesn't flow but if its working well then I would mix it up and test.
good luck.

[Dainis]

Test test test, I agree!

Swing Trading Can Preserve Your Wealth and Grow your Trading Account 20-30% Faster with Surprisingly Little Risk or Effort. Interested?.....Keep reading

...well, it might *work* but logically "little risk or effort" could mean little effort and a lot of risk, or you could have lots of effort and little risk.

So, you may want the conjunction to work properly without any logical hiccups (even though some folks might disagree).

...I'm not nailing it right now...but "Effortlessly" could be in there.

[sandbagger12]

I agree with a number of posts here. It needs brevity with punch.

Only suggestion for the body would be to add the word volatility. It means a lot more in the current economic environment.

Best of Luck.
Sandbagger12