War Room

Go Back   WarriorForum - Internet Marketing Forums > The Warrior Forum > The Copywriting Forum

Featured Warrior Special Offer...
"Members Of The *War Room* Discover Secrets To Immediate Success!"
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 11-03-2009, 10:29 AM   #1
HyperActive Warrior
War Room Member
 
Bart Loos's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Antwerp, Belgium
Posts: 111
Thanks: 3
Thanked 15 Times in 13 Posts
Social Networking View Member's Twitter Profile 
Default Can you give me some feedback...

Hey there,

I have a new squeezepage up here

Can you let me know what you think about it.

Thx!

Bart

Update 11/06 : redone the page & added bullet points with specific benefits

Bart Loos is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 11-03-2009, 12:14 PM   #2
Warrior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 13
Thanks: 0
Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts
Default Re: Can you give me some feedback...

Hi Bart,

I like the simple layout of the page.

I think you need to put more focus on *specific* benefits though.... beyond just "feeling confident and successful". What does that really translate to as far as...

* Results in someone's business
* Enhancement of their lifestyle
* Emotional benefits (more enjoyment, less stress, etc.)
* Achieving a higher and better version of themselves
* Etc.

Also, what specific frustrations and problems do business owners have that you can really agitate?

I think the video quality is pretty good, but there are a couple things that are hard to understand with your accent. Don't let that discourage you from doing video. You may just want to supplement the video with some bullets, etc. to make sure the page nails all the key points.

Ryan

FREE Screen Cam Sales Copy Critiques - Affordable High Response Copywriting Services - Performance and Satisfaction Guarantees - 10 Years of Experience: http://www.highresponsecopy.com/
ryanmberg is online now  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 11-03-2009, 12:38 PM   #3
HyperActive Warrior
War Room Member
 
Bart Loos's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Antwerp, Belgium
Posts: 111
Thanks: 3
Thanked 15 Times in 13 Posts
Social Networking View Member's Twitter Profile 
Default Re: Can you give me some feedback...

Quote:
Originally Posted by ryanmberg View Post
Hi Bart,

I like the simple layout of the page.

I think you need to put more focus on *specific* benefits though.... beyond just "feeling confident and successful". What does that really translate to as far as...

* Results in someone's business
* Enhancement of their lifestyle
* Emotional benefits (more enjoyment, less stress, etc.)
* Achieving a higher and better version of themselves
* Etc.

Also, what specific frustrations and problems do business owners have that you can really agitate?

I think the video quality is pretty good, but there are a couple things that are hard to understand with your accent. Don't let that discourage you from doing video. You may just want to supplement the video with some bullets, etc. to make sure the page nails all the key points.

Ryan

Good idea to add some extra bullets, and pointing out more specific benefits vs frustrations and problems.

Thx for the feedback!

Bart

Bart Loos is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 11-04-2009, 02:06 PM   #4
Gobsh1te
War Room Member
 
EaglePiServ's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 51
Thanks: 9
Thanked 9 Times in 9 Posts
Default Re: Can you give me some feedback...

I would add a video in that blank space to the left. Tell them why they need to sign up now. As it sits, it's kinda naked, and there's no compelling reason for someone to enter in their name and email.

Cheers.
EaglePiServ is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 11-05-2009, 08:58 AM   #5
HyperActive Warrior
War Room Member
 
Bart Loos's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Antwerp, Belgium
Posts: 111
Thanks: 3
Thanked 15 Times in 13 Posts
Social Networking View Member's Twitter Profile 
Default Re: Can you give me some feedback...

Quote:
Originally Posted by EaglePiServ View Post
I would add a video in that blank space to the left. Tell them why they need to sign up now. As it sits, it's kinda naked, and there's no compelling reason for someone to enter in their name and email.

Cheers.
Hey Eagle

Thx for pointing this out, I should have tested it different browser versions. I guess you're on IE6, which indeed shows up a blank space, but works fine in IE7-8, chrome, flock, Firefox.

Anyone smart outthere who might know how to fix that?

www.businessmindsetsecrets.com


Bart

Bart Loos is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Reply

  WarriorForum - Internet Marketing Forums > The Warrior Forum > The Copywriting Forum

Tags
feedback, give

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -6. The time now is 01:07 AM.