May I have your feedback on landing page copy?

edd666666 · 11-10-2009, 10:20 AM

Hi I have written copy for the landing page on a website designed to sell a pdf download for the Conduct Knockout Broadcast Interview System, which teaches talk show hosts how to conduct interviews. I would like to receive feedback on the copy and any comments are welcome. Thanks for your time and feel free to contact me for more information or leave the comments here. Ed Smith

Kevin-VirtualProfitCenter · 11-10-2009, 10:50 AM

Do you have a link?

edd666666 · 11-10-2009, 11:03 AM

Hi Kevin, sorry I left the attachment off, it should be on there now. Thanks Kevin and sorry for the confusion. Ed.

Kevin-VirtualProfitCenter · 11-10-2009, 12:23 PM

Here are some ways to improve this:

Create a new, compelling headline that makes a promise, solving a problem for your target market.
Use shorter sentences
Use shorter paragraphs
Create sub-headlines that make a compelling sales message by themselves
Figure out the emotional reason why someone would lust after this product and make that a central theme of your copy
Give the reader several logical excuses to buy
Tell them why the price is low
Give them numerical figures about what this is truly worth

This sales message sounds as if it was written by the author of the book. It needs to be written with more understanding of the prospect.

My best advice to you is to hire a copywriter.

While I don't know your budget there are several people on this forum who could dramatically improve this copy for $1,000.00. That's only around 13 copies at $79 and I can guarantee you better copy will more than make up for the cost.

If you want to get my recommendation on who to hire at that price point, private message me and I'll give you my honest opinion--I won't say in the open here because it will likely get someone's nose out of joint. Keep in mind that just because someone posts to the copy writing forum doesn't mean they can write compelling copy.

Good luck with your book.

edd666666 · 11-10-2009, 12:37 PM

Hi Kevin, boy you don't fool around do you, that was quick and useful feedback, stuff I can take action on right now. You were so correct about the copy being written by the author of the book, that is me. I will have to look at my budget for copyrighting, as I see your point about payback. OK Kevin, thanks again for this and I will be back to you in a PM if I decide to hire a pro. Ed.

11-10-2009, 10:50 AM	#2
Kevin-VirtualProfitCenter Full Frontal Lobe Nudity War Room Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Knoxville, TN Posts: 912 Thanks: 519 Thanked 492 Times in 205 Posts Social Networking	Re: May I have your feedback on landing page copy? Do you have a link?
	The Miracle Squeeze Page: Scientifically Proven to Convert 84.1% of Visitors into Subscribers Works for Anybody, Any niche - It's so simple you'll wonder why everyone isn't using it Click Here Now to Download It!

11-10-2009, 11:03 AM	#3
edd666666 HyperActive Warrior War Room Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 252 Thanks: 294 Thanked 12 Times in 12 Posts	Re: May I have your feedback on landing page copy? Hi Kevin, sorry I left the attachment off, it should be on there now. Thanks Kevin and sorry for the confusion. Ed.

11-10-2009, 12:23 PM	#4
Kevin-VirtualProfitCenter Full Frontal Lobe Nudity War Room Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Knoxville, TN Posts: 912 Thanks: 519 Thanked 492 Times in 205 Posts Social Networking	Re: May I have your feedback on landing page copy? Here are some ways to improve this: Create a new, compelling headline that makes a promise, solving a problem for your target market. Use shorter sentences Use shorter paragraphs Create sub-headlines that make a compelling sales message by themselves Figure out the emotional reason why someone would lust after this product and make that a central theme of your copy Give the reader several logical excuses to buy Tell them why the price is low Give them numerical figures about what this is truly worth This sales message sounds as if it was written by the author of the book. It needs to be written with more understanding of the prospect. My best advice to you is to hire a copywriter. While I don't know your budget there are several people on this forum who could dramatically improve this copy for $1,000.00. That's only around 13 copies at $79 and I can guarantee you better copy will more than make up for the cost. If you want to get my recommendation on who to hire at that price point, private message me and I'll give you my honest opinion--I won't say in the open here because it will likely get someone's nose out of joint. Keep in mind that just because someone posts to the copy writing forum doesn't mean they can write compelling copy. Good luck with your book.
	The Miracle Squeeze Page: Scientifically Proven to Convert 84.1% of Visitors into Subscribers Works for Anybody, Any niche - It's so simple you'll wonder why everyone isn't using it Click Here Now to Download It!

11-10-2009, 12:37 PM	#5
edd666666 HyperActive Warrior War Room Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 252 Thanks: 294 Thanked 12 Times in 12 Posts	Re: May I have your feedback on landing page copy? Hi Kevin, boy you don't fool around do you, that was quick and useful feedback, stuff I can take action on right now. You were so correct about the copy being written by the author of the book, that is me. I will have to look at my budget for copyrighting, as I see your point about payback. OK Kevin, thanks again for this and I will be back to you in a PM if I decide to hire a pro. Ed.