Please Check out my Sales Page

[danmart]

I just finished my salespage and would appreciate some constructive feedback...

The imBusiness Pro Affiliate Marketing Manager

Thanks,

Dan

[travlinguy]

I think your headline and sub header are good, though I'd change Dynamically to Dramatically. People don't always know when something is dynamic but there are very few people out there that don't understand drama.

Your opening line is a bit presumptuous. "If you're like me and I suspect that you are..." You're bound to alienate some people with that opening. There might be dozens of reasons someone would take issue with it.

Maybe they're not running PPC or Article campaigns. Maybe they don't like your signature or that you wear glasses or that you've got blonde hair. Maybe they see themselves as mavericks and don't relate well to anyone, or, on an on...

It might sound petty but you haven't built any rapport with your reader yet so I wouldn't open that way. I'd change it to, "If you're running any affiliate-type online marketing business..." Or, "If you absolutely have to keep track of several sites..." and then finish the thought.

You open pretty well with your header and sub but you'll lose some momentum with the opening paragraph. I only skimmed from there but here's another thought.

Organizational software has a natural appeal to left-brained types. It's logical to them. It makes sense because they naturally gravitate to detail and order. Your bullets are loaded with features and almost no benefits. With organizational software you can maybe sell detail-oriented people with features and they just might be able to draw logical conclusions as to how the app will make their lives easier.

But for the right-brain crowd you're going to have to shout about benefits. Stuff like, relax knowing that everything you need to know about your business is just two mouse clicks away... Or, sleep soundly at night knowing that if you had to be gone from your business for a day or two, you wouldn't return to an organizational nightmare... Or, whatever…

Benefits are the good feelings or emotions or peace of mind tied to using a product. Play them up and don't take for granted that anyone, even the detail folks will be aware of those feelings without you telling them. Good luck!

[Rick Johansson]

Headline could be stronger...put quotes around it and put a specific in there (number, percentage, "7 ways" etc.)

Give the software to some Warriors to test out and get some decent testimonials to put on the page.

Create a Camtasia or Jing video (Jing | Add visuals to your online conversations) and create a demonstration of your project and put it on your sales page.

Rick

[superaffiliate007]

You should add some reivews or beta testers there to improve the conversion of your site. Also add some more valuable bonuses there.

[euhlir]

First thing I notice is there is an error in your header. "system" is not spelled right. That will make any person visiting your sales page immediately leave, or be on guard. You can't make blatant grammar mistakes like that.

[danmart]

Thanks to everyone that responded...

euhlir, I can't believe that that typo got through me... But thanks to pointing it out and it has been fixed.

I have struggled with the topic of testimonials, and have decided that for now, I am not going to use them. This product is aimed at the IM Marketer and as such they are certainly suspicious of testimonials, at least enough that I think that they are distracting. Too many people now see a testimonial and wonder if they are real or not, I want people thinking about the product not whether the testimonials are real.

Travlinguy... Thank you so much for your feedback, I made several changes based on your reply. I knew better than to concentrate on features. (Show the features but Sell the benefits) but I guess that my left brain took over. I put a list of benefits in before the list of features. It is still a work in progress but I think that it is now a much stronger sales page.

I am also working on a video but I have a working demo system up is that better than a demo video?

Dan

[Loren Woirhaye]

It looks ok. I think your price-justification at the end is kind
of ham-handed though. It looks like an interesting product
that does some cool stuff.

You should emphasize the "value" price - $199 or whatever.
Put a strike through it or something. You underemphasize
the higher price and over-emphasize the lower price. I'd
try to balance the emphasis so the eye is drawn to the
higher price and immediately to the lower, actual price
as well. The way you have it when the reader scans for
the real price he sees it in bold... but has to read the
letter carefully top find out the product is "worth" more.

Make sense?

[danmart]

Originally Posted by Loren Woirhaye

It looks ok. I think your price-justification at the end is kind
of ham-handed though. It looks like an interesting product
that does some cool stuff.

You should emphasize the "value" price - $199 or whatever.
Put a strike through it or something. You underemphasize
the higher price and over-emphasize the lower price. I'd
try to balance the emphasis so the eye is drawn to the
higher price and immediately to the lower, actual price
as well. The way you have it when the reader scans for
the real price he sees it in bold... but has to read the
letter carefully top find out the product is "worth" more.

Make sense?

Makes alot of sense... The Price Justification does need some work. and I will revamp it.

Thanks,
Dan