Copywriting Phrases that Make Me Click (Away)

[tjmiller]

Ok, so... I am going to dip my toe into the copywriting forum. (You people intimidate me)

There are certain phrases that seem to be used OVER AND OVER that really drive me up the wall. When I see them, my brain kicks into numb, and I don't register much else that is said on the page.

Some of these are:

Who else wants to...

They all laughed when I...

...closely guarded secret...

Will NEVER, EVER be seen again!!! (and then you get emails for the next 6 weeks pushing the same offer.)

It's not this price...or this price... or this price... or EVEN this price... it is ... YES!.. ONLY!... YES!... THIS PRICE!!!!! (Ok, SLIGHT exaggeration, but for pete's sake!)

There are so many more, but I can't remember them all. My point is this: since when is cliche good marketing? Granted, I am not a copywriter, I am a writer. When you are a writer, originality is crucial.

Does being a copywriter mean that using the same old tired wording is ok?

I really do not want to insult any good copywriters here. I know that some of you are very good at what you do. I just see copywriting instructions time and time again recommending using these cliched headlines and phrases. Because of this, I also keep seeing new marketers fall into this copywriting trap where their websites look like every other new marketer's site.

Question: Which is more important? Originality or Copying past success?

[CDarklock]

Originally Posted by tjmiller

There are certain phrases that seem to be used OVER AND OVER that really drive me up the wall.

Copywriting straddles a border between art and science. While artistic sensibilities may say "that's old and tired and should not be used," science steps in and says "test it and see what works best." So you test, and you look at the results, and holy crap - "they all laughed" converts better than the subtle artistic headline that reads like poetry.

Hard data will beat art every time.

That said, a lot of people aren't using data; they're simply copying what people say works well, and paying no attention to whether it really works. But if it works well enough for them, they don't care.

[tjmiller]

Originally Posted by CDarklock

Copywriting straddles a border between art and science. While artistic sensibilities may say "that's old and tired and should not be used," science steps in and says "test it and see what works best." So you test, and you look at the results, and holy crap - "they all laughed" converts better than the subtle artistic headline that reads like poetry.

Hard data will beat art every time.

That said, a lot of people aren't using data; they're simply copying what people say works well, and paying no attention to whether it really works. But if it works well enough for them, they don't care.

I guess I get that.

It could be that because I am in THIS business, and I have seen all of this stuff so much, maybe I have become jaded. I just know that when I (as a potential customer to a product, not just reviewing someone's work) see "they all laughed," or "who else wants to," I feel the urge to click away from the page almost immediately.

It is almost a physical reaction. Kind of like: AHHH NO! CLICHED COPYWRITING! GRAB THE GARLIC AND THE SILVER CROSS!

Ok, It's late and I'm delirious. Sorry.

Going to bed now.

[David Raybould]

Teresa-

Opinions mean zip.

When it comes to copy, results are what
counts, nothing else.

So it doesn't matter if people are sick of
certain phrases or cliches. All that matters
is if they work.

As for which is more important, originality
or copying past success, the answer is
neither.

Because it's all about the numbers. The best
copy is the most successful copy.

Personal preference shouldn't come into it.

When the right prospect reads a killer letter
they don't think "Say, this is a really original
sales pitch, I think I'll pony up some of my
hard-earned cash here..."

... they think: "Damn, I NEED this"

... and then they rip out their credit cards
as fast as humanly possible.

And that's what we need to concentrate on-
not originality... not using certain phrases...
but bringing the reader to that point.

-David Raybould

[travlinguy]

David is right. There is a constant influx of people into various markets who haven't been worn down by so many of the tired phrases. Still, that doesn't mean we can't groan when we see something like this:

"Who Else Wants To Grab Cash-Sucking, Auto Pilot, Obscene, Dirty Little Stealth Assassin-Sniper Ninja Secrets That Up Until Today, And Only For This Smokin-Crazy, Ass-Kickin’ Sick Exclusive Offer, You would Have Had To Extract From My White Knuckle-Clenched Fists With Guantanamo Torture Methods?"

[The Copy Nazi]

Teresa, no need to feel intimidated. Just wear a flak-jacket and duck when you hear "Incoming!".

We've talked about this before. My bête-noir is "Who else wants...". I've used it once before - in a WSO - but if I thought it fitted the pitch, I'd use it again.

Legendary direct response marketer and copywriter, the late Gary Halbert, summed up advertising copywriting as -

"When it comes to writing, people don't have time for your pathetic subtleties"

And

"being on target is much more important than being facile with words"

BTW I'm about to use the old "They laughed when..." in a sales page.

[tjmiller]

I appreciate and respect all of your input. Copywriting is a skill that I definitely am wanting to develop, so being able to pick your brains is a big plus!

Originally Posted by David Raybould

Teresa-

When the right prospect reads a killer letter
they don't think "Say, this is a really original
sales pitch, I think I'll pony up some of my
hard-earned cash here..."

... they think: "Damn, I NEED this"

... and then they rip out their credit cards
as fast as humanly possible.

-David Raybould

David, I know exactly what you are talking about! I have read some things that had me reaching for my credit card before I could even get through reading it!

Originally Posted by MarkAndrews IMCopywriting

It depends on the product.

Which do I prefer? Originality
if I'm perfectly honest from a
personal preference point of
view, unfortunately it doesn't
work in all situations.

Mark Andrews...

Mark, I guess my goal then is to inject as much originality into my work as possible. After all, even those "tried and true" headlines were original once, right?

[josspam]

Original : Your idea generating, perhaps, income for you and only you, and past in history as the one who pull it off!

Copied idea: You'll probably generate profits... divided with off those who are doing the same... and won't go down in history as nothing at all :S

Jocy

[Collette]

Originally Posted by tjmiller

...I guess my goal then is to inject as much originality into my work as possible. After all, even those "tried and true" headlines were original once, right?

The "trick" to using those tried and true headlines without sinking into the Slough of Overused Cliches is to understand what made (and makes) those hackneyed phrases resonate so well.

Being original for the sake of being original is rarely a profit-making strategy. However, taking the principles behind "classic" headlines, and using them in a fresh way - that's where creativity shines and profits are made.

Disclaimer: I have the same reaction as you, BTW. My eyes uncontrollably roll back into the nethermost reaches of my cranium every time yet another IMer breathlessly invites me to hang on to their every word, while he/she holds some guru's feet to the flames in a totally PRIVATE session, and forces him/her to divulge their most closely guarded, jaw-dropping, never-before-revealed secrets to (Fill In The Blank Here). All of which will never, ever, be revealed again to another living soul.

Until the next IM launch.

[tjmiller]

Originally Posted by Collette

However, taking the principles behind "classic" headlines, and using them in a fresh way - that's where creativity shines and profits are made.

Very well said, Collette. That is exactly what I would like to be able to do.

Originally Posted by Collette

Disclaimer: I have the same reaction as you, BTW. My eyes uncontrollably roll back into the nethermost reaches of my cranium every time yet another IMer breathlessly invites me to hang on to their every word, while he/she holds some guru's feet to the flames in a totally PRIVATE session, and forces him/her to divulge their most closely guarded, jaw-dropping, never-before-revealed secrets to (Fill In The Blank Here). All of which will never, ever, be revealed again to another living soul.

Until the next IM launch.

YES! I think that when someone's copy causes the "Damn, I NEED this!" response, you are actually somewhat unaware (on a surface level, anyway) that you are responding to a sales letter. You are having a gut reaction to the images invoked by the words, and that can't happen with some over the top hype that is totally unbelievable.

Needing requires believing.

[avani]

Originally Posted by tjmiller

There are certain phrases that seem to be used OVER AND OVER that really drive me up the wall. When I see them, my brain kicks into
numb, and I don't register much else that is said on the page.

I couldn't agree more!!!

It also sometimes gets to me that every letter can be broken up into components each of which is one of three or four sorts. There's the story, of pain, struggle, getting cheated, etc. There's the PS, the PPS, and the PPPS. There are the testimonials (and if they don't have an accompanying website I tend to not even read them, sighs). There's the price, that drops from $2000 to $20. There are the popups that come up when you are leaving the website.

There are the 6 copies only at this special price and it seems to be there when I return a few months later. (In fact, I think I recall that a website selling Guitar lessons on DVD - Learn and Master Guitar or some such - which is otherwise a crisp looking and evidently professional business, has a $100 discount that's getting over in 3 day every day of the year.)

I don't know, I just find it amusing that techniques that I find so trite survive so well! I guess making a hobby of reading sales letter comes has a price - I find it hard to get past one without chuckling now. Also, although this is off-topic, I find it interesting that now my default impression has become that the advertisement is a scam (months ago, it used to be that I'll give the seller a chance). Wonder why - I think it has a lot to do with the large volume of badly done (well, IMO, and all that) letters that I've seen.

Originally Posted by tjmiller

Question: Which is more important? Originality or Copying past success?

I suppose at the end of the day, as has been indicated by the others here, the mantra is, whatever works.

[maximus242]

Originally Posted by tjmiller

Ok, so... I am going to dip my toe into the copywriting forum. (You people intimidate me)

There are certain phrases that seem to be used OVER AND OVER that really drive me up the wall. When I see them, my brain kicks into numb, and I don't register much else that is said on the page.

Some of these are:

Who else wants to...

They all laughed when I...

...closely guarded secret...

Will NEVER, EVER be seen again!!! (and then you get emails for the next 6 weeks pushing the same offer.)

It's not this price...or this price... or this price... or EVEN this price... it is ... YES!.. ONLY!... YES!... THIS PRICE!!!!! (Ok, SLIGHT exaggeration, but for pete's sake!)

There are so many more, but I can't remember them all. My point is this: since when is cliche good marketing? Granted, I am not a copywriter, I am a writer. When you are a writer, originality is crucial.

Does being a copywriter mean that using the same old tired wording is ok?

I really do not want to insult any good copywriters here. I know that some of you are very good at what you do. I just see copywriting instructions time and time again recommending using these cliched headlines and phrases. Because of this, I also keep seeing new marketers fall into this copywriting trap where their websites look like every other new marketer's site.

Question: Which is more important? Originality or Copying past success?

Copywriters care about making money.

Not that its always the best idea to swipe 50 year old headlines. I dont give a damn about whether or not my copy is original as long as it makes money. We are not writers, we are sales people.

We do not give a damn about writing, we care about making sales.

[Jag82]

Originally Posted by Collette

Disclaimer: I have the same reaction as you, BTW. My eyes uncontrollably roll back into the nethermost reaches of my cranium every time yet another IMer breathlessly invites me to hang on to their every word, while he/she holds some guru's feet to the flames in a totally PRIVATE session, and forces him/her to divulge their most closely guarded, jaw-dropping, never-before-revealed secrets to (Fill In The Blank Here). All of which will never, ever, be revealed again to another living soul.

Good one there. Your statement makes me smile.

Originally Posted by Collette

Being original for the sake of being original is rarely a profit-making strategy. However, taking the principles behind "classic" headlines, and using them in a fresh way - that's where creativity shines and profits are made.

Spot on. Why reinvent the wheel when we can tap upon a proven, high converting headline (which we can tweak accordingly) that will give us the highest probability of success?

Jag

P.S I've seen so many headlines that start with "Who Else Wants To....",
then I subconsciously ignore them now. But that's just me...

[samhig]

The cliches became cliches because they worked, and they are still working.

[scarpet1]

Who else wants to


Gets my click right away.....

[MillionaireMonkey]

I'm NOT a copywriter, but just a thought.

I understand how some "cliches" WORK... but as someone else mentioned, you have to understand the psychology that's at work behind the cliche... Some of these sales pages are almost insulting...

For example, I get it that you want to create a sense of urgency, BUT...

Having the 3 minutes left! LIMITED TIME counter ticking down to zero... that resets when you hit the refresh button, ha. It doesn't make me want to buy. It makes me think that the company feels their target market's a bunch of idiots!

[Jennie Heckel]

Hello all,

Guess us "dyed in the wool" copywriters do what we do, write the way people want us to write (the people that pay us to write anyway)...'cause we gotta eat...

We sell what works, no matter how tacky, so we get paid, so we can eat...

You may be laughing or putting down what many of us have to write, cause we'd love to write prose, but we get hungry, we write to get the sale... so we can eat.

What works is what we keep doing... so we can eat...

We write whatever the person that signs our paycheck wants, or we change the name on the paycheck.

Simple...

Jennie

[lenlatimer]

Maybe it's because you're overly familiar since you're in the field - it's not hard to be jaded by reading them everyday. I'm sure Mick Jagger gets tire of singing "No Satisfaction" too. He'd probably like to do a Dylan or Joni Mitchell song instead, but he knows he's got to sell tickets. So he does what works.

Familiarity breeds contempt!

[musman]

hello, i am interested in your service. can you please pm me more info?

[KathleenHobbins]

The two cliches that push my buttons are "explode your profits" and "take your business to the next level."

I wish I could say that they cause my eyes to roll back in my head. But I have to admit that they work. I have bought products -- with cold, hard plastic -- because I needed to believe that I could explode my profits and take my business to the next level.

Sigh . . .