Sub-Headline Ideas

[cima]

Hi There,

After, many hours !!, I've finally decided that my product will be called AtomicForex and I'm currently trying to find a good sub-headline as I'm going to order my graphics very soon...

That's why I'm coming to you, in order to get your great ideas !

I was actually thinking about :

-“Others set off firecrackers. We drop atomic bombs.” (sounds weird...)

-"They Thought We Would Never Release it... They were wrong." (sounds cheap)

-(I'm keeping on thinking...)

Need your help once again !!

Thanks. Samuel.

[lenlatimer]

I usually find that if I do a list of 10 to 20 headlines, one usually pops out. Then usually many of the others make great Subheads. Give that a try.

[wrcato]

Do you have copy written already? You might find the 'gem' is sitting in your copy.

[cima]

Here you can see my sales page :
UltimateForexTradingMethod

However, I'm completely re-naming and re-designing my whole product, I want something more exciting... As a consequence I'm going to need to change some part of the sales page.

[Alexa Smith]

Originally Posted by cima

I want something more exciting... As a consequence I'm going to need to change some part of the sales page.

Don't think I'm being rude about your sales page, please; but I do think you're right to want to make some changes. (And you must change the photo!).

What you should be "wanting" is not necessarily "something more exciting" as much as "something that converts a higher proportion of the traffic". Although it's not quite as simple as that, really, because in the long run (especially where affiliates are involved) having a different sales page actually attracts slightly different traffic, too.

What concerns/interests me is why you're starting this process (or maybe you're not, really?) by seeking opinions on the sub-headline? No harm in generating ideas, of course, but you might want to think about the "overall structure" first (but maybe you're also doing that in the background?).

Originally Posted by cima

I was actually thinking about :

-“Others set off firecrackers. We drop atomic bombs.” (sounds weird...)

Maybe a little bit weird. But maybe not bad, within the context of the renaming and re-launch, too. Not a concept I'd dismiss out of hand, anyway.

Originally Posted by cima

-"They Thought We Would Never Release it... They were wrong." (sounds cheap)

Agreed. A bit cheap and very derivative (also not good).

With all these posts I'm starting to be interested in your page, now. Will have a think tomorrow. (I'm a bit of a forex trader myself, but I secretly hate products like this! Don't take it personally, just being honest, here - perhaps too honest - sorry! ).

[cima]

Alexa,

thank you very much for your thoughts !!

To make the whole thing a little bit clearer here's what I'm currently trying to do :
-Changing some parts of the sales pages to make it match with the possibly new name of the product.
-Changing the name of the product and finding a decent sub-headline.
-Changing the designs of the product to make them match with the new name

And I'm a bit lost because it seems like not a single thing is working...

What I basically wanted to do is to change the designs of the product because they're terrible and then I also thought the name UltimateForexTradingMethod was terrible so in the end, I'm ending up with the desire to change almost everything concerning the aspect of the product.

By the way, what do you think about the sales letter (I'm going to change the picture, don't worry ! ) ?

Cheers, Samuel.

[jbr12]

Hi,

I'm a newbie here but have been a successful marketing comms practitioner for 17 years now, so hopefully my advice has some value.

My suggestion for a sub-head would be to create something that adds value or plays on your headline. Better still if you can slip a keyword in there. Use it to clarify what your offering is. And make sure any extraneous words are removed.

I'm not overly keen on either of yours tbh, because they don't tell me anything, but if you are keen on the first one, wouldn't: 'Forget firecrackers - Bring on the bombs!' be snappier?

Jo

[David Raybould]

Cima-

Think benefits.

What's the big benefit your product offers?

Work that out and slip it into your slogan.

It'll make it much more powerful than just
using something witty.

Hope that helps

-David Raybould

[Ronak Shah]

what's your USP? That is exactly what you must put across as a headline / sub-headline!

Can you PM me your USP?

I'll suggest a sub-headline by PM.

Thanks.