Hype Free Copywriting Examples - $20 prize

[TimCastleman]

I am sitting in the Las Vegas airport as I type this. Lady luck was anything but a lady to me and left me with $6 in my wallet and $20 in my ATM fun account.

I was thinking this weekend about some good examples of hype free copy - but I don't have many, if any.

So here is the deal. Post a link to a sales page that you think is a good example of hype free copywriting. I will go through them and the best example gets my last $20.

Gotta a plane to catch!

Tim

[ghyphena]

http://marketingbullets.com/b100dvd.htm

Try to follow THAT, ladies and gentlemen

Gil-Ad

[Ken_Caudill]

Treasury Of Health Secrets

What the hell.

[marciayudkin]

For anyone who is not sure what hype ia, see my article "The Anatomy of Hype" here:

What is Hype? Is Hype Necessary? The Rationale for No-Hype Marketing

Free access, no opt-in required.

Marcia Yudkin

[travlinguy]

Here's one I just put up a couple of weeks ago that's already converting at just under 10% without any promotion as of yet. Though it does have position # 12 in Goog for the domain keywords.

Overcome Procrastination - Stop Procrastinating

[MontelloMarketing]

The definition of hype is simple...

It was given to me in clear terms by the man who mentored me, David Garfinkel.

If you can prove it... it's not hype. If you can't... it is.

[TimCastleman]

Just walked in and will check these out.

Good to see people pimping their product out on this thread. Some things never change.

Tim

PS: Vin, nice examples

[Anita Ashland]

Chris Rempel's Confessions of a Lazy Super Affiliate (non-affiliate link) goes easy on the hype. Doesn't use phrases like "cash sucking machine" or adjectives like "killer."

[Johnny12345]

Tim,

I feel like I'm taking advantage of you. This is too easy... just read the no-hype copy for my own WSO (see the link below).

Johnny

P.S., You'll have to forgive the graphic headline... I just couldn't help myself.

P.P.S., Just PayPal that twenty bucks over whenever it's convenient for you... I'll wait, right here, by my computer.

[Jag82]

Originally Posted by MontelloMarketing

The definition of hype is simple...

It was given to me in clear terms by the man who mentored me, David Garfinkel.

If you can prove it... it's not hype. If you can't... it is.

Agreed.

I've had debates over copy which others felt are too "hyped" up.

But I tell them that we have proof to back it up. So where's the hype
coming from? The case studies are real!

Emotive language are part of the game to give the "usually-bored-out-of-their-skin" readers a big jolt and get them to take notice.


Anyway, I like all of Paul Myer's copy. Very personal, truthful and also
educational.

Here's an example:

Build Your Own Empire... 20 Pages at a Time

Jag

[TimCastleman]

Thanks guys.

I'll look these over and keep them coming.

Plan on this wrapping up by Wednesday, hope we have more than two entries.

[maximus242]

Bencivenga swipes are almost always hype free and I also like the J Peterman Catalogue copy but I dont have direct swipes of it. Just excerpts. Oh and some excellent Ogilvy ads which are rather hype free. But for $20 im too lazy to scan them. Ah who else is good, oh, Joe Sugarman is almost always hype free.

Ah I dono if you have it but the ad "What About This Stock And Bond Business?" or whatever the devil the headline is -- is EXTREMELY unhypey. It is probably the most hype free ad ive ever read. Google it. (It was also a very strong control)

Ah what else is there. Schwab and John E Kennedy were great for lack of hype. Kennedy was rather anti-hype.

Oh and you know who else, Robert Collier had tons and tons of hype free ads. Im sure youve got the Robert Collier Letter Book, have a flip through it.

Joe Sugarmans probably my favorite hype free writer, he tells the truth but does so in such a compelling way you cant help but buy.

[CopyMonster]

Gary B is good but how about this billion dollar letter?

DennyHatch.com • "The Billion Dollar Letter"

Can't argue with the results.

[Johnny12345]

Originally Posted by MontelloMarketing

The definition of hype is simple...

It was given to me in clear terms by the man who mentored me, David Garfinkel.

If you can prove it... it's not hype. If you can't... it is.

But it's not just a question of whether it actually IS hype. It's also a matter of whether it SOUNDS LIKE hype to your prospect.

In your prospect's mind... perception equals reality.

-Johnny

[TimCastleman]

Guys & Gals -

I'm going to close this thread and contest down. Almost 200 views, a pitiful number of responses and even fewer examples of real value.

Sorry, I thought that this would provide a valuable resource for copywriters. I was wrong.

Tim

[Johnny12345]

Originally Posted by TimCastleman

Thanks guys.

I'll look these over and keep them coming.

Plan on this wrapping up by Wednesday, hope we have more than two entries.

Hmmm... does anybody know how to get this thread locked?

Johnny

[Johnny12345]

Originally Posted by TimCastleman

Guys & Gals -

I'm going to close this thread and contest down. Almost 200 views, a pitiful number of responses and even fewer examples of real value.

Sorry, I thought that this would provide a valuable resource for copywriters. I was wrong.

Tim

Tim,

Hmmm... does anybody know how to get this thread locked?

Johnny

Come on! I was only kidding. Let it run. Don't be a party pooper!

Johnny

[Johnny12345]

OK... you want low hype? You want a big name?

Then here's a nice specimen from Bob Bly...

Childrens Book

Johnny

[Mike Anthony]

Originally Posted by TimCastleman

Guys & Gals -

I'm going to close this thread and contest down. Almost 200 views, a pitiful number of responses and even fewer examples of real value.

Sorry, I thought that this would provide a valuable resource for copywriters. I was wrong.

Tim

Thats because hype free is so very hard to find. Outside of bf68's and maybe Jag82 example EVERY other example has been filled with hype.

No your words are not bullets
No you won't get me to beat the alarm clock from going off in the morning if you teach me not to procrastinate. I like a good amount of zzzss
and no your copy will not kill me or anyone else so it won't be a "killer"

but hey like Vin said a bit of hype is in order and is just excitement that your product really works. No foul.

[Mike Anthony]

That one is perfect to me. Hits the target market and has no real hype.

Originally Posted by Johnny12345

OK... you want low hype? You want a big name?

Then here's a nice specimen from Bob Bly...

Childrens Book

Johnny

[MontelloMarketing]

Originally Posted by Mike Anthony

but hey like Vin said a bit of hype is in order and is just excitement that your product really works. No foul.

Actually Mike I never said that. You've got me confused with someone else. But I will say I stand by the definition as it was explained to me by Garfinkel.

And for that there is no exception for "perception" as someone wrote. You can either prove it or you can't. It's either real or it's hype.

Now... if you want to talk about a low key approach vs a sideshow barker approach that's another conversation for another day. But remember you can write low key hype too.

The use of certain words often has little connection to hypey or non-hypey copy.

If you say something gives you "a killer profit..." and it actually does and you prove it in the letter, that's not hype. If you go low key and say "Sure XYZ pill can not make you into a super model overnight, but it can help you lose a healthy 2 pounds per month, every month..." and you can't prove that 2 pounds per month every month... then it's hype.

Hype is an unsubstantiated claim... plain and simple.

[Johnny12345]

Originally Posted by MontelloMarketing

Actually Mike I never said that. You've got me confused with someone else. But I will say I stand by the definition as it was explained to me by Garfinkel.

And for that there is no exception for "perception" as someone wrote. You can either prove it or you can't. It's either real or it's hype.

Hype is an unsubstantiated claim... plain and simple.

If you want to look at it from an academic perspective, then I agree with your definition.

However, from a practical standpoint, I'll stand by my earlier comment.

Customers don't care about definitions. If a sales letter uses language that is perceived by them to be hype, then your sale is probably toast.

Johnny

[Mike Anthony]

Originally Posted by MontelloMarketing

Actually Mike I never said that. You've got me confused with someone else. But I will say I stand by the definition as it was explained to me by Garfinkel..

Well okay but thats how I took it. Especially in a headline I think you are always trying to stir some kind of excitement and if its provable that it works then its not hype which is what you did say.

However as Johnny said hype is how a customer views it and for the customer ti can't be brushd aside. Its substantiated to them. Personally especially in the IM fields "killer" is overused and hype to me. iT has to be something really good to me so even the idea of "backing it up" is subjective.

[Johnny12345]

Originally Posted by Paul McQuillan

Is that not what Vin is saying? I guess I am lost... as usual

Like Vin or Garfinkel know what they're talking about

Paul,

There's no need to rush to Vin's defense. We were simply discussing the finer points of "hype." No harm, no foul.

Johnny

[Jag82]

Originally Posted by Johnny12345

If you want to look at it from an academic perspective, then I agree with your definition.

However, from a practical standpoint, I'll stand by my earlier comment.

Customers don't care about definitions. If a sales letter uses language that is perceived by them to be hype, then your sale is probably toast.

Johnny

Hi Johnny,

I come more from the perspective that hype is something that is not substantiated.

BUT...BUT...I do know where you are coming from.

Fact is...substantiated or not...if we use certain phrases...some people may still deem it as "hypey" in their mind.

As you said - the perception.

Macia Yudkin wrote a post about relating to this about introverts and how they react to hype.

http://www.warriorforum.com/war-room...erts-cold.html

It offers an alternative perspective that a lot of us tend to overlook
(because IM is really quite a hype-filled market. And I admit, even my copy is
"hyped" to some people.).

Jag

[Mr. Subtle]

Originally Posted by MontelloMarketing

The definition of hype is simple...

It was given to me in clear terms by the man who mentored me, David Garfinkel.

If you can prove it... it's not hype. If you can't... it is.

Brilliant! Simply brilliant. Everyone needs to write down Montello's post... NOW!

[Johnny12345]

Originally Posted by Jag82

Fact is...substantiated or not...if we use certain phrases...some people may still deem it as "hypey" in their mind.

As you said - the perception.

Jag,

Yep. That's my point, exactly.

Johnny

[Jag82]

Actually "hype" is pretty subjective.

What may be hyped to you, may not be to me. And vice versa.

To me, hype is not necessarily a bad thing, as long as it's not
overdone.

Back in those days, PT Barnum used a lot of hype to promote his
traveling circus shows. That got people excited. And people stood
up to take notice. His business was very successful.

I remember him saying this in his book,
"The Art of Money Getting", that hype is fine - as long as
it is followed by providing massive value and exceeding
customers' expectations.

But like it or not, there will always be people deeming
advertisement/sales copy as "hyped".

This is something to be expected though. That's why we
monitor our sales conversion. Because not all people buy.

We just do what's best for our biz (e.g. test, track etc).

Jag

[colmodwyer]

Guys & Gals -

I'm going to close this thread and contest down. Almost 200 views, a pitiful number of responses and even fewer examples of real value.

Sorry, I thought that this would provide a valuable resource for copywriters. I was wrong.

Tim

10%+ response rate is pretty decent.

There's at least 3 solid sales letters posted here too, AND a nice little lesson on hyperbole.

So I'd argue this thread is quite valuable. Quite valuable indeed.

In any case, of those who went away in good faith to find a hype-free sales letter for you - who gets your last $20? - that's what I want to know...

Colm

[Ronak Shah]

I am all at the fact that people are just looking to debate and argue their thoughts when the point of focus is to show some examples to win $20.

Well, I'd really like that $20 while people debate and argue over hype or not!



I think Vin wins the debate anyway! LOL!

I've written a couple by myself for a client... don't know if you're okay with affiliate landing pages!

Let me know.

Thanks.

Ronak Shah

[Collette]

Originally Posted by MontelloMarketing

The definition of hype is simple...

... If you can prove it... it's not hype. If you can't... it is.

I remember getting the same advice years ago from another very successful Direct Response copywriter. It was a game-changing moment for me.

People often confuse "hype" with "emotionally charged words used in accurate context". They're not the same thing. One is a lie; the other is not.

If a copywriter misrepresents the facts - no matter how low-key his approach - it's Hype. If he represents the facts accurately - it's A Promise.

IMO, a copywriter's job is to present the most powerful promise you can, as truthfully as you can. Doing anything less is a disservice to both you and your prospect.

Side story: I ski raced for a while and people used to love to hate on Picabo Street for her "bragging" that she would win a particular race.

The thing is, Picabo inevitably won every race she said she would win.

It 'ain't "bragging" if you git 'er done.

And it 'ain't hype if you can deliver on the promise.

[Jag82]

Originally Posted by Collette

And it 'ain't hype if you can deliver on the promise.

To you, me and some others - yes. As long as the
promise is delivered, it's no hype.

However to some people, especially those not
exposed to marketing, it is. At least it is in their mind.


Let me recount to you my experience.

I was showing Eben Pagan's old Double Your Dating's
squeeze page, to a business owner I met.

At that time, that squeeze page was said
to have one of the best opt in rate ever.

Everyone was modeling after his squeeze page.

The headline was great. Bullets was fantastic.
And the DYD course itself was value-packed.


However the moment this business owner
read the page, he immediately say this was BS!

And he found the headline and set up irritating.

Irritating? BS?

He has not even bothered to read the free materials yet!

He was even comparing the DYD's salespage to
the tons of scammy "abdominal" ads he saw.

I mean, DYD, is one of the best programs in the
seduction niche. Certainly provide tons of value
to the audience who want to know how to hook girls.


But to this guy, he didn't care.

He has an MBA. And has a fixed mindset on how
a "proper" advertisement should look like.

The "hypey" perception was formed straight away in his mind.

And he didn't bother to read on.

He just think it's hot air. A scam.


I know we can probably say he is not a targeted prospect
anyway. And he doesn't know what good marketing is.

Still, such perceptions still exist in people's mind.

Regardless of whether the promise is fulfilled or not.

Jag

[Collette]

Originally Posted by Jag82

To you, me and some others - yes. As long as the
promise is delivered, it's no hype.

However to some people, especially those not
exposed to marketing, it is. At least it is in their mind.


...He has an MBA. And has a fixed mindset on how
a "proper" advertisement should look like.

The "hypey" perception was formed straight away in his mind.

And he didn't bother to read on.

He just think it's hot air. A scam.


I know we can probably say he is not a targeted prospect
anyway. And he doesn't know what good marketing is.

...

Jag

You're correct when you point out that he's not the target market. And that's part of the point: If you're using emotionally charged language to a prospect who is not receptive to such language, then your approach will come across as "hype".

However, to some people ALL advertising is "hype". For example, someone who believes that all illness can cured through faith healing, is going to view any and all advertising for pharmaceutical remedies - even proven ones - as hyped-up scam.

EVERYONE is "exposed to marketing". In our society, we are over-exposed to marketing. So it's really not a matter of whether your friend "knows what good marketing is". The marketing is not "good" if it targets the wrong prospect. And when you showed him the DYD letter, you targeted the wrong prospect.

Your friend with an MBA and a conventional personality is probably not predisposed to believe in any solution other than the most conventional kind. So the fact that he shot down DYD is hardly surprising. He's not the target market. And, as such, the message will never resonate with him.

It's a matter of matching your message to your market.

What if you showed the same ad to someone who is shy, awkward, and insecure about his attractiveness? Someone who is tired of being rejected by every woman he's tried to approach... who becomes tongue-tied and fumbling whenever he tries to strike up a conversation with an attractive woman... someone who is willing to try anything to get a date?

Do you think that guy would dismiss DYD so quickly?

Matching the right message to the right market is a basic fundamental that crappy marketing ignores.

[Jag82]

Originally Posted by Collette

Matching the right message to the right market is a basic fundamental that crappy marketing ignores.

Again, I agree with you.

That reminds me of a point that Gary Halbert made
in one of his presentation videos.

And that is, even a world class ad will tank
badly if it is selling "how to knit" information
to men. That made me laugh.

I mean I don't know of any man that is addicted
to knitting.

Therefore your point is very true. Bringing
the right message to the right audience is critical.


But here's another experience of mine I
want to share you with you.

It's still on Eben's DYD stuff.

I sent the opt in page to a friend of mine
(who is married but still love to flirt) to take
a look.

He is definitely the correct audience.
And such stuff do appeal to him.

But still, he was initially skeptical.

He was too used to a "news" style site.

And a page with just a mere headline plus a few bullets
and an opt in form didn't look so right to him.

That was what he told me.

I assured him that the site is genuine.

It was only after I sent him a couple of
DYD's newsletter emails, and he has seen
how good the content is, that he decided
to opt in to take a look.

You see. Such perceptions exist - even
to a targeted audience.


Another case in point. I know of many
marketer friends who will not buy from
sales pages which show images of huge
mountain of cash...holiday scenery...sleek
Porsche...and that likes..

Some of them tell me that they get turned
off by phrases like "torrent of cash", "tsunami
of profits", "print cash on demand" etc etc...

These are phrases designed to get an
emotional response. And to a certain audience,
these are effective.

But again, there will be others that think these phrases
are too hyped up even if
there was ample proof and the message
was targeted at their kind of crowd.


Remember the "Who Else Wants To" headline
thread which makes some people roll their eyes
so far backwards?

Some people are sick of it, because it's too over-used.

While some think it's going to be another hyped up
sales letter.



This is something beyond "proof" and "targeting the
right crowd with the right message".

The personality type of the person and his mindset
also come into play.

Marcia Yudkin wrote an excellent article on this
in the private War Room (on marketing to introverts).

Cheers,
Jag

[Raydal]

If you really want to find hype then read some LOVE LETTERS, not sales letters.

"I will love you forever" "You take my breath away!" "I can't live without you."

These are not easy to prove.

-Ray Edwards

[TimCastleman]

Originally Posted by Raydal

If you really want to find hype then read some LOVE LETTERS, not sales letters.

"I will love you forever" "You take my breath away!" "I can't live without you."

These are not easy to prove.

-Ray Edwards

Very funny Ray.

Sounds like a man scorned (been there, done that).

Tim