Help needed with Weight Loss landing page...

[huggybear_dk]

Hi guys,

I am looking for some opinions on my landing page. Do you think this type of one pager will work?

Get Six Pack Abs


Thank you all in advance

Derek

[R.T.Bucher]

Looks great! Good here shot with real life examples. But,....

It's missing one vital component.

Where's the opt in?

I would collect emails first and then send them to the Truth.

[huggybear_dk]

thanks for your reply Rob. I was considering offering a free ebook/report so I will add that in and then re-direct to the offer.

Do you think the copy is too hyped?? I was thinking of spending some money on a PPC campaign for testing conversions before I go full steam ahead in driving traffic.

Derek

[Alex Cohen]

Derek,

To me, the "before" and "after" comparison is not effective. It's difficult to tell what shape your bodies were in "before".

Alex

[huggybear_dk]

Thanks Alex for taking the time to have a look. I get where you are coming from. Do you think a before and after is even needed?

I think i will takes rob's advice and offer a free ebook?

[zapseo]

Is the before and after needed?

ABSOLUTELY.

Nearly any product which promises a change in appearance needs that credibility.

My biggest problem with the page is that you need to promote one dominant benefit. I couldn't figure out whether that was 6 pack abs or weight loss? You need to be crystal clear in what you are offering, otherwise you'll confuse prospects and... confused prospects DON'T BUY.

Live JoyFully!

Judy Kettenhofen, Profit Strategist/Copywriter
NextDay Copy

[huggybear_dk]

Thanks Judy,

I agree with what you are saying though, but the two go hand in hand, getting six pack abs is all about weight loss. But as you say if the page is leaving prospects confused then I think I will need to be more specific.

thanks

[natalie1]

Not sure if intentional, but the "after" picture's head is cut off and seems like the body may not be the same as Rick's "before" picture. As a buyer I might want to see a before and after of the same person.

[Loren Woirhaye]

Nice looking page.

I think you have some "fat" hanging on the headline, piling on
descriptive words and trying to tell about your story all at once
- not really relevant to what YOU want - which is a click.

here's an example of a trim headline:

*REVEALLED* How A Lazy Gym-Hater Lost The Belly Fat And Got *Rock Hard* 6 Pack Abs!!

or how about this sort of thing? :

You Can Get 6 Pack Abs Even If You Hate Working Out.

[huggybear_dk]

Malibu and Anarchy,

Thanks for your quality posts and taking the time to critique my page. I did feel that the headline was a bit long so I will work on trimming it down like you said. I have a report i can give away so I am working on getting a version of the same page up that captures emails and then redirects to the offer.

So in your opinion if i am offering a free report do i replace the section where I say "you are about to discover" and put the optin there?

Thanks again to everyone that comments, i really appreciate it.

D

[zapseo]

You may have to move things around for the opt-in page.
Opt-in forms need to be ABOVE THE FOLD generally.

[Eric Engel]

Those before and after pictures are so unbelievable. Really--even if they're true, I would put something that people might actually accept as true.

[huggybear_dk]

Thanks for all your comments guys, I have made some changes to the site and added optin for a free report. I would love to know which page you think is best?

1. Get Six Pack Abs

2. Get Six Pack Abs

the second is a bit more direct and less sensational.

I look forward to hearing your comments,

thanks in advance

D

[Seattle Mike]

I like page number 2.

[Vyliss]

I can't see page 2 but what you have on that page now looks good. I think the headline could be improved a bit more though.. I think maybe you're trying to fit too many points into it. Could try to keep it a bit simpler.

[Internet Stores]

I like the page. Your opt-in form is great with nice graphics. The free book idea is good! The page has a nice clean, tidy look. Good opt-in form.

[zapseo]

Got 404 error on page #2.
Page #1 -- couldn't click away soon enough. WAAAAYYYY too busy.