I am brand spanking new here.

[NicheHunter]

Hi All, I know I probably shouldnt be posting my squeeze page copy here, but I wanted some feed back. Below is what I have but I think it lacks something to get people to opt in. I can take constructive critizism, so criticize away.

Gary

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[Doug Stratemeyer]

I would offer a free report or free e-book in return for the sign up, or a 7-day e-mail course either along with or instead, and do the selling in the e-mail course. More bites at the apple.

Perhaps personalize the copy more. What has your experience been? Speak to being able to "quit your job" rather than replace your income.

For some reason, "with credit cards in hand" bothers me. I would prefer "Drive massive numbers of eager buyers..." or something similar.

I hope that helps.

[proaffiliate26]

Originally Posted by Doug Stratemeyer

I would offer a free report or free e-book in return for the sign up, or a 7-day e-mail course either along with or instead, and do the selling in the e-mail course. More bites at the apple.

Perhaps personalize the copy more. What has your experience been? Speak to being able to "quit your job" rather than replace your income.

For some reason, "with credit cards in hand" bothers me. I would prefer "Drive massive numbers of eager buyers..." or something similar.

I hope that helps.

I agree with what was said by Doug.

Also, you may want to check your spelling and grammar. "Dept" should be "debt."

[Moolah_Copywriting]

Hey,
Welcome NicheHunter,

Replace the vague mega-claim, with a specific promise. Your market is one of the most cynical on earth.

You also need a very specific offer that your reader's will instantly want to own. In a squeeze page the offer has to come hard and fast..

Last your squeeze page should begin the story for your main product. Your prospect should feel that this is "just the beginning".

Stan