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View Poll Results: Which one do you think is best/has the most potential?
Headline 1 1 33.33%
Headline 2 1 33.33%
Headline 3 1 33.33%
Voters: 3. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 02-08-2010, 05:09 PM   #1
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Arrow PLEASE Critique These Headlines and/or Answer The POLL!!

I know this may not be an excellent, controlled experiment, but I want to throw out a couple headlines and see if there's an overwhelming favorite and perhaps why. (I would like to say that this is of course, NOT a sales pitch in ANY way, I just want some honest feedback). Try to choose based on copy alone and not which target market you happen to reside in (assume there is a large target audience for this product). Please feel free to be as brutal as you need to be. Also, if you think one would be the best with a small tweak, please choose that one and mention the tweak.

Thank you everybody!


Option 1:

How to utterly DOMINATE Google's first page with...

The Most Powerful Blogging Techniques You Can Find - ANYWHERE


At a time of enormous opportunity in the search engines, matched with even heavier competition, you need more than just the tired, old approaches that every other marketer is using. You need to know a strategy that will completely ANNIHILATE your competition and make them cry to their mothers!




Option 2:

Discover How You Can Create Massive 6-Figure Blogs Using A Strategy That Will Utterly DOMINATE Google's First Page And ANNIHILATE Your Competition!




Option 3:

Attention All Internet Marketers: If you don't already know how to build a website that will generate enormous amounts of FREE, auto-pilot traffic, utterly squash your competition, and completely replace your day job, read this letter urgently...


"Mad Search Engine Scientist Reveals The Devastating Blogging Strategy That Lets You Utterly DOMINATE The First Page Of Google And Explode Your Business To Epic Proportions..."


And best of all, 99.9% of all IMers are OBLIVIOUS to these techniques...


Option 4:

Warriors, 99.9% of internet marketers are just not doing this...



Supercharge Your Business With The Explosive Power Of This Blogging Strategy--You'll Be Glad You Did

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Old 02-08-2010, 05:31 PM   #2
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Default Re: PLEASE Critique These Headlines and/or Answer The POLL!!

They're all only fair at best. The first one is boring and the sub for it is vague. What is: enormous opportunity in the search engines. I've been around a while and have an idea what you mean but still, I'm not sure.

The second one is also vague with the line: How You Can Create 6-Figure Blogs... I'd guess you're talking about six-figure income from blogs but who knows. Your readers won't want to work that hard.

The third one is plain weird. Mad Search Engine Scientist... Come on, you can do better... Then Devastating Blogging Strategy... Devastating isn't the word you want here.

I’d go back to the drawing board if I were you. Good luck.

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Old 02-08-2010, 06:33 PM   #3
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Default Re: PLEASE Critique These Headlines and/or Answer The POLL!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by travlinguy View Post
They're all only fair at best. The first one is boring and the sub for it is vague. What is: enormous opportunity in the search engines. I've been around a while and have an idea what you mean but still, I'm not sure.

The second one is also vague with the line: How You Can Create 6-Figure Blogs... I'd guess you're talking about six-figure income from blogs but who knows. Your readers won't want to work that hard.

The third one is plain weird. Mad Search Engine Scientist... Come on, you can do better... Then Devastating Blogging Strategy... Devastating isn't the word you want here.

I’d go back to the drawing board if I were you. Good luck.
Thank you, excellent feedback.

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Old 02-08-2010, 09:23 PM   #4
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Default Re: PLEASE Critique These Headlines and/or Answer The POLL!!

Of the 3? the second one.

But I don't think any of these are going to get people to read more.

The first one's subheader was kind of painful. Run on sentences can work but that one felt kind of like a bad actor trying to read cue cards.

Keep at it, you'll get there!

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Old 02-08-2010, 10:16 PM   #5
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Default Re: PLEASE Critique These Headlines and/or Answer The POLL!!

I liked the 3rd one the best easily. But reword the mad search engine scientist bit. and dont use words like annihilate. took me ages to figure out what the word was

Chill.
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Old 02-09-2010, 01:46 AM   #6
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Default Re: PLEASE Critique These Headlines and/or Answer The POLL!!

I like the third one a lot! Creative
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Old 02-09-2010, 05:19 AM   #7
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Default Re: PLEASE Critique These Headlines and/or Answer The POLL!!

They're all so aggressive and macho in tone.

It's possible to be successful in a quiet, secret way. Can't we have some headlines along those lines? I'm just so tired of being pounded on the head all the time by people imitating one another.

Marcia Yudkin

Author, Meatier Marketing Copy, available in paperback, Kindle, Nook, Audible audiobook
“There are few genuine thought leaders in the field of copywriting. Marcia Yudkin is one of them. The strategies she presents in Meatier Marketing Copy are all easy to understand and implement, yet profoundly insightful. If you want to write marketing copy that sizzles and sells, this book is a must-read.” - Steve Slaunwhite, Author, Start & Run a Copywriting Business, Co-Author, The Wealthy Freelancer
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