Thanks in advance for reading this...

Jacob Anthony · 02-18-2010, 02:47 AM

Hi guys,

I want to thank you in advance for reading this firstly. So here goes:

I've put up my first "warrior for hire" advert for my article writing services the other day and it's had a steady amount of views which I'm happy with. However I am trying to think how I can improve the coversion of those visits into queries or just straight orders.

I know that my prices are higher than some on here and I know that I have initially talked more about the features of my service rather than the benefits of my service.

What kind of changes would you advise that will create more conversions?

Here's the link:
http://www.warriorforum.com/warriors...ml#post1761998

Again, thankyou very much for reading this, I guarantee that your time looking at this will not be wasted and that 100% action will be taken on the advice you give.

Cheers

Jacob

Andrew Gould · 02-18-2010, 06:04 AM

Hi Jacob,

I'd try switching 'UK based' for something like 'native English speaker' as there are plenty of people over here who can barely speak the language.

You say there's two of you, explain why that's a good thing e.g. faster turnaround times, proofreading, etc.

Justify your prices in your main ad.

Play up the quality aspect, plenty of people have bought $2/3 articles that have turned out to be rubbish, explain how and why yours are better. In fact, I think I'd focus primarily on this.

Offer more services such as reviews and whole ebooks. Try positioning yourself as a content creator rather than just a writer.

Format your testimonials better.

Hope some of this helps.

Jacob Anthony · 02-18-2010, 06:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Andrew Gould

Hi Jacob,

I'd try switching 'UK based' for something like 'native English speaker' as there are plenty of people over here who can barely speak the language.

You say there's two of you, explain why that's a good thing e.g. faster turnaround times, proofreading, etc.

Justify your prices in your main ad.

Play up the quality aspect, plenty of people have bought $2/3 articles that have turned out to be rubbish, explain how and why yours are better. In fact, I think I'd focus primarily on this.

Offer more services such as reviews and whole ebooks. Try positioning yourself as a content creator rather than just a writer.

Format your testimonials better.

Hope some of this helps.

Thank you so much for this advice I'm going to rewrite my advert this afternoon!

Is there a way I can edit the title?

Andrew Gould · 02-18-2010, 06:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mitchymoo

Thank you so much for this advice I'm going to rewrite my advert this afternoon!

Is there a way I can edit the title?

I don't know, I thought I'd seen some threads in the WSO forum where the title's been changed. You could always try the support desk.

And get a photo of yourself into your profile, anything'll do, it'll help increase trust in you.

Jacob Anthony · 02-18-2010, 06:44 AM

Nice one guys! Have a helped point on me! Pity I can't buy you guys a beer!

Jacob Anthony · 02-18-2010, 08:56 AM

I've re-written my copy guys, can you have a quick look at it again?

Thanks again!

Jacob

Andrew Gould · 02-18-2010, 10:27 AM

Hi Jacob,

That looks a lot better now, so here's some more thoughts for you:

I wouldn't use 'write' and 'rewrite' in your headline, you could try something like 'that you've paid someone else for' or 'that you've paid a supposed professional for'. And I think you can get rid of the underlining. Maybe the 'with' could go as well.

'and he or she' to 'and they' - Make it as conversational and quick to read as possible.

'But when you receive the article is where the fun really begins...as you discover exactly why there were so cheap...'

Don't use 'usually' twice so close together.

'Investing that little bit more'

Points 2 and 6 appear to say roughly the same thing.

Make it as clear as possible that better quality content equals more adsense clicks, purchases, a higher flipping value or whatever your client's aiming for.

Why are your customers treated as partners? (Repeat business, reputation, etc)

I wouldn't make your ebook price negotiable, or at least don't state that it is.

'what fellow warriors said'

I'd remove the 'thanks' comments from your testimonials, they don't add anything.

Make your ordering section bigger and center it.

Tell them how to Skype you (via the button below your profile). Or see if you can insert a direct link (beyond my technical skills).

Hope this is of use, and remember when writing copy technical accuracy isn't as important as getting the reader onto your slippery sales funnel.

02-18-2010, 02:47 AM	#1
Jacob Anthony Freelance Sales Person War Room Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Pontypridd, South Wales, UK Posts: 159 Thanks: 66 Thanked 30 Times in 24 Posts Social Networking Contact Info	Thanks in advance for reading this... Hi guys, I want to thank you in advance for reading this firstly. So here goes: I've put up my first "warrior for hire" advert for my article writing services the other day and it's had a steady amount of views which I'm happy with. However I am trying to think how I can improve the coversion of those visits into queries or just straight orders. I know that my prices are higher than some on here and I know that I have initially talked more about the features of my service rather than the benefits of my service. What kind of changes would you advise that will create more conversions? Here's the link: http://www.warriorforum.com/warriors...ml#post1761998 Again, thankyou very much for reading this, I guarantee that your time looking at this will not be wasted and that 100% action will be taken on the advice you give. Cheers Jacob
	Freelance Telesales Agent - Freelance Sales Agent - Freelance Ghostwriter - Freelance Marketing Consultant.

02-18-2010, 06:04 AM	#2
Andrew Gould Copy Warrior War Room Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Leicestershire, UK Posts: 461 Thanks: 254 Thanked 302 Times in 194 Posts Contact Info	Re: I know this is going to get torn apart but..... Hi Jacob, I'd try switching 'UK based' for something like 'native English speaker' as there are plenty of people over here who can barely speak the language. You say there's two of you, explain why that's a good thing e.g. faster turnaround times, proofreading, etc. Justify your prices in your main ad. Play up the quality aspect, plenty of people have bought $2/3 articles that have turned out to be rubbish, explain how and why yours are better. In fact, I think I'd focus primarily on this. Offer more services such as reviews and whole ebooks. Try positioning yourself as a content creator rather than just a writer. Format your testimonials better. Hope some of this helps.
	Andrew Gould

02-18-2010, 06:44 AM	#5
Jacob Anthony Freelance Sales Person War Room Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Pontypridd, South Wales, UK Posts: 159 Thanks: 66 Thanked 30 Times in 24 Posts Social Networking Contact Info	Re: I know this is going to get torn apart but..... Nice one guys! Have a helped point on me! Pity I can't buy you guys a beer!
	Freelance Telesales Agent - Freelance Sales Agent - Freelance Ghostwriter - Freelance Marketing Consultant.

02-18-2010, 08:56 AM	#6
Jacob Anthony Freelance Sales Person War Room Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Pontypridd, South Wales, UK Posts: 159 Thanks: 66 Thanked 30 Times in 24 Posts Social Networking Contact Info	Re: I know this is going to get torn apart but..... I've re-written my copy guys, can you have a quick look at it again? Thanks again! Jacob
	Freelance Telesales Agent - Freelance Sales Agent - Freelance Ghostwriter - Freelance Marketing Consultant.

02-18-2010, 10:27 AM	#7
Andrew Gould Copy Warrior War Room Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Leicestershire, UK Posts: 461 Thanks: 254 Thanked 302 Times in 194 Posts Contact Info	Re: Thanks in advance for reading this... Hi Jacob, That looks a lot better now, so here's some more thoughts for you: I wouldn't use 'write' and 'rewrite' in your headline, you could try something like 'that you've paid someone else for' or 'that you've paid a supposed professional for'. And I think you can get rid of the underlining. Maybe the 'with' could go as well. 'and he or she' to 'and they' - Make it as conversational and quick to read as possible. 'But when you receive the article is where the fun really begins...as you discover exactly why there were so cheap...' Don't use 'usually' twice so close together. 'Investing that little bit more' Points 2 and 6 appear to say roughly the same thing. Make it as clear as possible that better quality content equals more adsense clicks, purchases, a higher flipping value or whatever your client's aiming for. Why are your customers treated as partners? (Repeat business, reputation, etc) I wouldn't make your ebook price negotiable, or at least don't state that it is. 'what fellow warriors said' I'd remove the 'thanks' comments from your testimonials, they don't add anything. Make your ordering section bigger and center it. Tell them how to Skype you (via the button below your profile). Or see if you can insert a direct link (beyond my technical skills). Hope this is of use, and remember when writing copy technical accuracy isn't as important as getting the reader onto your slippery sales funnel.
	Andrew Gould