5 reasons you should help me write a headline and how 1 minute can change the rest of your life

[ZhaoAnXin]

Just kidding . . .

I find what you all do fascinating because I'm not very good at it.

I'm looking for help with a headline, and have maybe a couple of general questions to follow up with. If you're game, I'll definitely appreciate it and thank you - if you're not, that's cool too. Probably when I get closer to being ready to do this I'll just hire somebody, but per below I might not and would like some free advice from people who are smarter than me.

So the headline is for this:
No Anchor Text

It's going to be a new edition of a (hard copy) book of mine in a couple of months. This book and the associated back-end drive about 80% of my income.

I make a decent amount through POS sales and have good distribution but my payout is much greater if I'm selling it myself, so I'm enhancing the content, raising the price, and want to push sales directly from my domain rather than retail.

1. Basically I'd just like suggestions for a killer headline if anyone feels like throwing me a bone.

2. I'm considering not doing any sales letter at all and just doing a 10-15 minute video of me with a copy of the book in hand, and a crap load of testimonials/reviews.

I know it's kind of like asking a baker whether or not you should be eating donuts, but my customers write very good reviews for me, which I think hit alot of the key triggers, deal with objections, etc. and so my basic thought is that if I include testimonials from people very similar to my target prospect that might be better. Would be curious about any testing or general thoughts related to that.

3. Not sure about the types of testimonials I want to be using. My initial thought is that I want to laser focus the testimonials/reviews towards being as close to the demographic of my target market as possible. However, I can get very high credibility testimonials as well (I'm flying out in 7 days for a new contract training the ROK army so I can get lots of military/special forces/intelligence types of bad asses, and I have a testimonial file with some pseudo-famous entertainers, rappers, authors, etc.) . . .

So if you were promoting your own product would you try to target your social proof to resonate as being similar to your market, or try to establish credibility or a mixture of both?

4. Is it possible to have "to much" social proof?

Anyway - I'm not looking for a whole critique or anything. Maybe just a headline if anybody feels like it but I'm really curious about structuring social proof.

[Hugh Thyer]

Headline didn't grab me but then again I'm not your target market. And maybe people know enough about what you're selling for it to be effective. Not sure.

Anyway, apart from not really offering any help there I CAN give you a tip on testimonials.

Work out what objections people have to buying, and address those objections with the testimonials you choose.

[dorothydot]

(waves hand in air) Me, me! I love headline games!


I like that you have your headline in quotes; that gets you attention first-off.

Learn sounds like something you work at in school. Yuck. How about Discover or Grab or something?

I'd break it into a headline-subhead right underneath it.

What are China's Secrets to Grabbing the World by the Throat? (uh, grabbing by the throat could mean almost anything.)

Sounds like you are using a lot of fluff. A little bit of that goes a looongg way.

Discover China's Ancient Power Secrets
Ancient Secrets China Stole From Ancestors - Yours Today!
Why China Controls The World - Grab these Power-Pulling Secrets Today
How China Took The World By the Throat In Only 20 Years
Secret Strategies Available - Get them FAST Before China Forces Me to Withdraw The Offer!

Hope this helps,
Dot

[MissTerraK]

Originally Posted by dorothydot

(waves hand in air) Me, me! I love headline games!


I like that you have your headline in quotes; that gets you attention first-off.

Learn sounds like something you work at in school. Yuck. How about Discover or Grab or something?

I'd break it into a headline-subhead right underneath it.

What are China's Secrets to Grabbing the World by the Throat? (uh, grabbing by the throat could mean almost anything.)

Sounds like you are using a lot of fluff. A little bit of that goes a looongg way.

Discover China's Ancient Power Secrets
Ancient Secrets China Stole From Ancestors - Yours Today!
Why China Controls The World - Grab these Power-Pulling Secrets Today
How China Took The World By the Throat In Only 20 Years
Secret Strategies Available - Get them FAST Before China Forces Me to Withdraw The Offer!

Hope this helps,
Dot

Awesome job Dot! My favorite is your last one. It cracks me up and is very catchy!

MissTerraK

[Ross Bowring]

Originally Posted by dorothydot

Secret Strategies Available - Get them FAST Before China Forces Me to Withdraw The Offer!

To elaborate on Dot's fine effort...

Under the iconic shot of the lone protester facing down the tanks in Tiananmen Square, this headline...

"For When It's You Against The World... These Secret Chinese "Personal Power" Strategies Will Give You The Backbone To Face-Down Any Foe... Get Whatever You Desire From Life... And Find Your Inner Hero Ready To Push Through The Gasping Crowd And Take Charge Of Any Situation --- Read Now Before Chinese Censors Get Wind Of These Extraordinary Revelations..."

Or something like it.

Just a few quick thoughts. Hope it helps.

-- Ross

[recommended]

I just skimmed your sales page and came up with a shot in the dark headline for you.
" Discover the Extraordinary Powerful Truth Secrets within You Today!"
Good Luck My Friend.

[Ken_Caudill]

Originally Posted by ZhaoAnXin

Just kidding . . .

I find what you all do fascinating because I'm not very good at it.

I'm looking for help with a headline, and have maybe a couple of general questions to follow up with. If you're game, I'll definitely appreciate it and thank you - if you're not, that's cool too. Probably when I get closer to being ready to do this I'll just hire somebody, but per below I might not and would like some free advice from people who are smarter than me.

So the headline is for this:
No Anchor Text

It's going to be a new edition of a (hard copy) book of mine in a couple of months. This book and the associated back-end drive about 80% of my income.

I make a decent amount through POS sales and have good distribution but my payout is much greater if I'm selling it myself, so I'm enhancing the content, raising the price, and want to push sales directly from my domain rather than retail.

1. Basically I'd just like suggestions for a killer headline if anyone feels like throwing me a bone.

2. I'm considering not doing any sales letter at all and just doing a 10-15 minute video of me with a copy of the book in hand, and a crap load of testimonials/reviews.

I know it's kind of like asking a baker whether or not you should be eating donuts, but my customers write very good reviews for me, which I think hit alot of the key triggers, deal with objections, etc. and so my basic thought is that if I include testimonials from people very similar to my target prospect that might be better. Would be curious about any testing or general thoughts related to that.

3. Not sure about the types of testimonials I want to be using. My initial thought is that I want to laser focus the testimonials/reviews towards being as close to the demographic of my target market as possible. However, I can get very high credibility testimonials as well (I'm flying out in 7 days for a new contract training the ROK army so I can get lots of military/special forces/intelligence types of bad asses, and I have a testimonial file with some pseudo-famous entertainers, rappers, authors, etc.) . . .

So if you were promoting your own product would you try to target your social proof to resonate as being similar to your market, or try to establish credibility or a mixture of both?

4. Is it possible to have "to much" social proof?

Anyway - I'm not looking for a whole critique or anything. Maybe just a headline if anybody feels like it but I'm really curious about structuring social proof.

Machiavelli Was a Wimp

[The Copy Nazi]

We've been here before. You asked for help with this months ago. What happened?