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| | #1 |
| The Wandering Businessman War Room Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: The Globe
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Hey Warrior, Over the last few months I've been focusing on selling my own products - and I've come away from the experience with a lot more first-hand knowledge than I had before. I've decided to share some of my "Conversion Boosters" here for free. No opt-in, no payments, but a click on the Thanks button would do (if you like this post that is...)Let's go. (In no order of importance.)
There's a lot more you can do, but this list is absolutely going to increase the money you're making from your sales letter. If you have any questions about anything on this list, please don't hesitate to ask here or via PM - I'm sure somebody else will have the same question. |
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| | #2 |
| Tim The Toolman Brechbill War Room Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Omaha, Nebraska
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I immediately went to my sales page and got rid of "Dear Friend" Thanks for the advice... |
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| | #3 |
| Warrior Member War Room Member Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: USA
Posts: 10
Thanks: 8
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
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Thank you so much! I have been looking for great info like this.
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Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another. -Napoleon Hill | |
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| | #4 |
| Warrior Member Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 3
Thanks: 0
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
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Great tips, thank you.
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| | #5 | |
| Warrior Member Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Prettifying Poughkeepsie NY since 1984
Posts: 15
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Its vital to both the grammar, presentation and content that you WAIT before you edit. Also extremely helpful to have someone else read it to you, so you can hear how your copy flows in the minds (and voices) of others. Great post all around! | |
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| | #6 |
| Keep Moving Forward . . . War Room Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Salt Lake City, UT
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See, information like this is why I joined Warrior Forum. Thanks for the tips. I think I'll print them out and file them with my "how not to screw up your sales page" stuff. (Yes, I really do have a file like that.)
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| | #7 |
| Mal Lambe War Room Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: The Bunker, Paris
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Yes, good tips Chris. Except I don't agree with #12. Stuff as many bullets in your copy as you can That just leads to eye-strain. Instead be judicious with the use of bullets and don't use more than 7 in a block. And Odd numbers have tested better than Even. So 3/5/7. A whole bunch of bullets one after the other don't get read. And thank God you said Kill "Dear Friend". Gary Halbert was fond of that but these days it just sounds hokey - don't you think? Along with "Dear Frustrated Marketer". Personally I was always a fan of The Rich Jerk's "Dear Loser". |
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| | #8 |
| Senior Warrior Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Oregon
Posts: 1,196
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Thanks for the tips, all reasonable and I can see how they might possibly improve conversion from the sales page. I am also not in agreement with the point that says 'have as many bullet points as you can'. I would say, Use bullet points judiciiously where applicable and bold some words in each bullet point for easier reading.
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| | #9 | |
| Create More Value War Room Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Small World
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Like your tips, Chris. Especially point 15. But on these points: Quote:
all niches/audience/products. The overly beaten cliche - test it - still applies. Jag | |
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| | #10 |
| Warrior Member Join Date: Mar 2010
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Great info! Really helpful, thanks!
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| | #11 | ||
| The Wandering Businessman War Room Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: The Globe
Posts: 1,209
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You're absolutely right - test, test, test. However, I'd say a good 90% of the time, these rules are going to apply - let me explain why. I'll try not to keep accidentally rhyming as well... 1. Less than 5 words in the first paragraph - The first thing you want to do with your sales letter is get the reader to keep reading. That means using SHORT sentences and powerful words. This is why you'll see most top copywriters using phrases like "It's ironic" or "Oh God..." in their first line. I've gone so far as to say "This sucks!" and it's pulled readers right into my copy. 2. Kill Dear Friend - Boy do I ever hate seeing "friend" written in a sales letter. I'm not the friend of whoever wrote it... so don't call me that. If you're writing in the IM market, kill this - but if you do choose to use it elsewhere, please test it like Jag said. 3. Keep your headline short - This is universal, no matter the niche. Using 40 word headlines that focus on four different benefits doesn't work well. Stick with just one. I used to do this a lot, until a thread here on the forums prompted me not to. I can't find it... but it was a thread that compared a new copywriter's headlines to an experts. The new copywriter would write headlines like "Discover why a simple berry can increase your lifespan, make you grow taller, catch Bin Laden, and a whole host of other ..." Yeah, you get it. But the expert would take the time to figure out EXACTLY what it was the reader wanted, and give it to them... "Here's the secret to adding years to your life." Maybe somebody else can find the thread... it was a good one. | ||
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| | #12 |
| Active Warrior War Room Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: MA, USA
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Great list, thanks for the tips! Anyone have an example of a good signature section to add?
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| | #13 | |
| Advanced Warrior Join Date: Nov 2009
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| Quote:
$19.95 ebooks and what not keep the bullet points more selective | |
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For the best prices in Cycling Jerseys visit: The Cycling Jersey Store http://ultimatetattookits.com | ||
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| | #15 |
| HyperActive Warrior War Room Member Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Canada
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I took your advice and put "Dear Notmyfriend" ... Conversion rates have gone up through the roof ![]() Seriously I love the tips. Dear friend or anything that people get accustomed to hearing starts to make the mind go..."Blah" In fact I bet for a gutsy persona and copy writer a 'Dear probably not my friend but possibly if you keep reading." would work better than ""Dear Friend". |
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| | #16 | |
| Matthew James O'Connor War Room Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: Darkest Lincolnshire, UK
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"The Amazing Money-Making Secrets of a 28-year-old Convicted Felon Who Earns More Money Per Year Than The CEOs of FedEx ... eBay ... Amazon.com ... Time Warner ... Apple Computer ... McDonalds ... Microsoft ... Nike ... Yahoo ... Ford Motor Company ... General Motors ... and Goodyear COMBINED!" It only seems too long if it's badly written, wouldn't you say? | |
| Diary of a Direct Response Copywriter Infomercial Veteran Turned Copywriter Wants To Explode Your Sales...Delicious Sales Copy | ||
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| | #17 | |
| The Wandering Businessman War Room Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: The Globe
Posts: 1,209
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Thanked 755 Times in 196 Posts
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| | #18 |
| Senior Warrior Member Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Miami, Fl. USA.
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short headlines? thats bs.... really big bs..... and that headline by halbert is classic. oh and 30 headlines? lol dude thats it? we write over 100... and then start testing them to see the winner... we don't just pick one we like as you suggested. |
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Dave Miz “Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.” ― Dalai Lama XIV | |
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| | #19 | |
| The Wandering Businessman War Room Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: The Globe
Posts: 1,209
Thanks: 142
Thanked 755 Times in 196 Posts
| Quote:
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| | #20 |
| Copy Warrior War Room Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Leicestershire, UK
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You're not telling these people 'Lies, Lies, Lies' about short headlines are you?
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Andrew Gould
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| | #21 |
| Writer of Copy War Room Member Join Date: Aug 2009
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Hey, Good list. Not too keen on #9 though - I don't want to distract people from buying by having them opt-in for something that they think could solve their problem for free. Also, I find that "Dear Friend" still works... As long as you actually write to the person like they're you're friend. It's when you say "Dear Friend" then talk at someone lecture-style that it falls apart. David |
| Copywriting Tips, internet marketing jargon, thoughts, and rants by me. Atlanta Copywriter, serving clients worldwide. Write your life. David Tendrich | |
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| | #22 |
| Active Warrior War Room Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Right Beside You When You Need Me
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HI Chris, Thank you so much for sharing such valuable information. I have them saved in my computer for rehashing. Look forward to more tips from you. Terence |
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Click Here To Watch The Video To See How To Make Profitable Keywords Run To You. | |
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| | #23 |
| HyperActive Warrior War Room Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Northeast PA
Posts: 100
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VERY good post, however a few things need to be cleared up. #1 - Use less than five words in your first paragraph - This is absolutely not true. I understand the point of keeping it short, but if you found that you need 5 or less, you might look at whether or not you're saying something interesting enough to the prospect. #2 - Kill "Dear Friend" with a cleaver - This depends on the niche/product, etc. I know Halbert used to be a huge fan and did extensive testing on it, but that was also years ago. I could or could not work - always test. #3 - Keep your headline short - Once again, if you've found that only short headlines work, you should be working on coming up with more interesting things to say. I'll agree that in probably 70% of the time, short headlines are better. However, it's DEFINITELY not a universal truth. #4 - Stuff as many bullets in your copy as you can - Having too many bullets actually detracts sometimes. I would slightly change to the following: WRITE as many bullets as you can, but then take out the ones that aren't amazing. #5 - Write at least 30 headlines before you choose the one you're going to use - Good start, but make it 100 ![]() Again I'm not saying these things were "wrong" - it was a VERY good post... I think they just needed to be expanded on a bit more. Great stuff! P.S. In case anybody is wondering, yes, I've tested these things personally. I'm a freelance copywriter and have my own projects with partners, so I have a lot of "tests" under my belt |
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Jeremy Reeves is a 6-figure direct response copywriter who has made his clients MILLIONS of dollars in EXTRA profit with advanced marketing strategies and ninja-like conversion tricks. Get his FREE report, "The 3x3 Formula For DOUBLING Your Profits In 60 Days Or Less", at http://www.3x3formula.com | |
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| | #24 |
| Warrior Member War Room Member Join Date: Oct 2009
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Hey Chris... thanks so much for starting this informative thread. Good stuff! |
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| | #25 |
| Advanced Warrior War Room Member Join Date: Oct 2008
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Thanks for taking the time to share this list - I'm going to put that belcher button to use ASAP!
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| Penthesilea: The best Wordpress theme for building Amazon review sites... well it works for me anyway ;) Oh and I'll fill you in on my own personal making money with Amazon strategy too!
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| | #26 | |
| The Wandering Businessman War Room Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: The Globe
Posts: 1,209
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| Quote:
The way I see it, the first couple lines are ONLY for getting the reader involved in your copy. If you can get them to read the first few lines, you've already won a big part of the battle for their attention. Yes, it does need to fit with your copy. Yes, it does need to be interesting. No, it shouldn't be just filler. But if you can keep the reader's attention for even just the first three paragraphs, you're doing a good job towards getting them to read the whole way through. | |
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| | #27 | |
| HyperActive Warrior War Room Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Florida
Posts: 308
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| Quote:
This is one of the most abused and misguided trends I've seen in the past year or so. Short "filler" copy bent on abiding the "short opening" rule is WAY more repulsive to your reader than a full paragraph of relevant info. Goes back to the lesson of those headline examples from a previous thread: Know what your prospect is ultimately after. The effectiveness of headlines, bullets, openers has less to do with long or short, or too many or not enough... than with URGENCY. How urgent is the information you have to share? Research is what separates the rooks from the pros. Halbert obsessed on his topics relentlessly for weeks. He'd have his friends and family (usually his son, Bond) drive him around for hours just so he could ponder the appeal. After hours of silent thought, he'd pop up and start spewing almost perfect copy verbatim. Bencivenga would take up to 6 weeks do dissect his prospect, deconstruct control ads (and failed ads) and talk to as many customers and employees as possible before writing a single word. Carlton once interviewed a client who'd created a golf instruction product for a full 45 minutes (getting lousy one word answers out of him), before the guy loosely referenced learning the technique from a one-legged golfer. Eureka! (The guy had told the story so many times, he thought it was old news by the time John got to him.) Who said it? Good writing is good research. If you're ever stuck on where to begin a sales letter, that's your brain telling you to do more research. Conversely, when you've done your research well, you'll be dying to sit down and write the stuff bubbling inside your head. Learn to love the research and the writing becomes the fun part. | |
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| | #28 | |||
| Senior Warrior Member War Room Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Virginia, USA.
Posts: 1,324
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I rather like Dear Frustrated Marketer. Quote:
I also have BOTH books. Need to keep them close by though... Quote:
I'm always torn about whether I should send people to a squeeze page first or a sales page... | |||
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| | #29 | |
| Senior Warrior Member War Room Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Virginia, USA.
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| Quote:
I'm all for extensive research, and do it too, but there's a limit as to what's practical --Bencivenga and Carlton may be getting paid enough to take the time out to do that, but those of us still working our way up simply don't have that kind of time... I realize that it's a bit of a chicken and egg thing. Doing fantastic reserach will result in phenomenal copy, which will help with increasing rates (presumably), but on the other hand... Oh well... I do study both product and market, but six weeks? Not full-time anyway. Gotta eat ;-) | |
![]() CLICK HERE for FREE WSO * * * FREE WSO * * * FREE WSO * * * FREE WSO * * * FREE WSO! CLICK HERE for My WSOs: eMoney Magic! Copywriting! Blogging Course! Affil. Promo Packs! | ||
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| | #30 |
| HyperActive Warrior War Room Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Northeast PA
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Elisabeth, You have a good point - I personally went through that struggle when I first started copywriting....so here's my advice. Whenever you get a job, do as much research as humanely possible to make it "worth it" for you. Work a few extra hours at nights, or weekends, etc. - but just suck it up for a few months. Funny thing that happens is once you do more research, you start writing MUCH more heavy hitters. And once you do that - you have credibility. And once you get some credibility and statistics behind your name...getting clients becomes very easy because they all start referring you to their friends. When I first "got" that point, I went from writing for people looking for "the cheapest copywriter"....to people like my signature says. I just did that with my latest client and increased their control by (as of right now, the testing isn't "exactly" conclusive yet)...about 182%. So trust me...research is VERY important and you should be doing it as much as humanely possible |
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Jeremy Reeves is a 6-figure direct response copywriter who has made his clients MILLIONS of dollars in EXTRA profit with advanced marketing strategies and ninja-like conversion tricks. Get his FREE report, "The 3x3 Formula For DOUBLING Your Profits In 60 Days Or Less", at http://www.3x3formula.com | |
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| | #31 | |
| Senior Warrior Member War Room Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Virginia, USA.
Posts: 1,324
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| Quote:
Thanks, Jeremy, for the advice and the encouragement. Coming from you, and with your track record, that means a lot to me. :-) | |
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| | #32 |
| HyperActive Warrior War Room Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Northeast PA
Posts: 100
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No problem Elizabeth, that's what this forum is for! |
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Jeremy Reeves is a 6-figure direct response copywriter who has made his clients MILLIONS of dollars in EXTRA profit with advanced marketing strategies and ninja-like conversion tricks. Get his FREE report, "The 3x3 Formula For DOUBLING Your Profits In 60 Days Or Less", at http://www.3x3formula.com | |
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| | #33 | |
| HyperActive Warrior War Room Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Florida
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| Quote:
You took my example too literally. I wasn't suggesting it's necessary for everyone to take 6 weeks on research. Only pointing out the importance A-Listers put on the task before they sit down to write the first word. Gary was charged with the task of beating excellent controls from other top writers. Letters that mailed in the millions for major publishers. Winning could mean years of juicy royalty checks. But, of course, the competition is fierce and his controls were never safe. He couldn't afford NOT to be so diligent. Most of us live in a slightly different world. Like Jeremy said, so long as you're doing the best research possible in relation to the project, you can expect great results. | |
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