How Is My SalesPage? Would Like Opinions From Guitarists If Possible Too!

[keyaziz]

Hi guys,

My boyfriend created this site:

Heavy Metal Guitar Lessons - Learn To Play with the Burning Metal Series

He has been playing for over ten years and created this product himself.

We initially used standard salespage but then changed it to fit our audience better...which increased sales. It does ok, (we have quite a few affiliates too) but we would like to convert more visitors...

Any suggestions?

Thank you

[travlinguy]

Your stuff is very good, the best I've reviewed in weeks. I especially liked your HM guitar sampler. My off-the-cuff suggestion on increasing sales is perhaps going after the newbie or wannabe HM guitar player. The reason I say so is because your sales page is a winner and I believe would have a lot of appeal to the aspiring guitar affecianado. Apply that marketing approach while continuing to go for HM devotees and you might see a nice increase in sales...

[Paul Coleman]

Really well done site. He's got the lingo down and he sounds like he knows what he's talking about. And congrats to him for developing his own product.

One small glitch, The MP3 link is dead.

As far as more traffic, maybe you could try an "impress your friends" appeal. "When you play for your friends, they won't believe it's you." And talk about getting together to jam with friends. Starting a band. "Take my course and you will be the teacher".

Paul

[ravijayagopal]

I highly recommend you use a player like "Wimpy" to stream the mp3 right from your home page (it should have a play, pause, volume control, etc) instead of making it launch in a separate window and having it download the file.

You could also have a video in there greeting the user, and then he goes on to start playing the guitar right there in the video. And then follow it up with the original sound track.

Hope this helps.

If you want more help, feel free to direct message me and I can give you a few more ideas.

Kudos to you and him for being in a non-IM world and still doing a phenomenal job!

[Loren Woirhaye]

The headline is no good but the offer is attractive and
you boyfriend's guitar-god ego hasn't gone to his head
to the point where he thinks $47 or $97 is the right
price.

Why is the headline bad? Because it's facetious. Sex is
more satisfying than playing heavy metal guitar.

"There's No Bigger Satisfaction Than Plugging In, Crankin' The Gain, And Churning Out Sick Metal Riffs - And I'm Here To Show You How"

It runs 23 words too. Which is long. Longer than
needed.

Promoted however to the right people the headline won't
matter too much. Your boyfriend apparently plays a
style of guitar similar to what European bands were
playing in 1988. I don't listen to that type of music
anymore but it's the same chops, clearly.

If your visitors want to learn the specific style of guitar
he plays on the tape, then they'll go for it.

The graphics are impressive and I would buy it at that
price.... if I were into metal guitar and though I could
learn some tricks from the course.

Come up with at least 20 more headlines (minimum) -
like:

"How To Shred Evil Licks"

[Loren Woirhaye]

Sorry about the "evil" part. That was just off the top of
my head - I don't even know how people in that seen talk
these days.

Your headline should do 1 thing - get people to read the
first paragraph. You don't have to tell the whole story in
the headline - you need to deliver the number 1
compelling benefit that will get higher readership
for the rest of the letter... this isn't always easy to discover -
in fact it's downright hard sometimes - but it's probably
the most critical part of this letter for you to improve
and test.

You also should try tracking how many of your visitors
play the audio track. That should give you an idea of
how many of them are seriously interested knowing what
style of guitar the course actually teaches - because
to me it sounds like a very specific type of playing.

[Johnny12345]

I've been studying the guitar -- and copywriting -- for many years. I think your sales page represents "a good first pass." In other words, it needs additional work and refinement.

Here are some examples (in no particular order):

-The picture of Matt playing the guitar is horrible. It's grainy, small, and of poor quality. Borrow a digital camera and take some better pictures.

-The formatting is all over the place. Some paragraphs are centered (a bad idea for readability) and some are properly left justified. Subheads and such may be centered, but not body copy.

-You have some HTML issues. View your pages in MS Internet Explorer 6 and see for yourself.

-On your order button, don't say "BUY NOW." Instead, say something like "Click here to start learning metal guitar today!"

-Make your guarantee stand out a bit more. It uses a small graphic and small text.

-Your site uses font sizes poorly. Make your headline RED so it stands out above the other text. (See my next remark also...)

-Your MP3 button doesn't seem to work. I'd make the button and font smaller too -- they overpower the headline (which is your most important element).

-You need to rethink your bullet points. For example, one of them says "Insider info with priceless tips and tricks gained only by personal experience!" If it can ONLY be learned from personal experience, that means they can't learn it from a (your) course. I don't think that's what you meant to imply.

-I kind of like the headline -- it might appeal to metal heads. But you would need to split test it to really be sure.

-Your copy also needs a good proofreading pass. There are several mistakes and a lot of cumbersome wording. In addition, there really isn't that much copy. One way to help that, would be to move some of your best FAQs to the main page.

-On the FAQ page, I'm not sure you want to ask for testimonials. You should ask for testimonials INSIDE the product, NOT before they buy.

These are just a few points to help you along.

Good luck,

Johnny

[keyaziz]

Thank you everyone for taking the time to look at our salespage - we both truly appreciate it.

I read mixed messages about whether to us a mp3 player on the page (due to loading time) versus not..so I think I will go with your advice check out something like Wimpy.

We have just got a video camera now so shall make a video also.

Thanks Johnny for taking the time to go through the salespage like you did (always seem to forget about IE!). Tomorrow we are intending to go through it completely and most likely will get help professional with the copy.

Thanks again everyone...I shall have to come back once we have revamped to let you see

[Steven Fullman]

Keyaziz,

First up: Great page.

Next: You've had some criticism...somewhat unfair in my opinion, but hey.

My point is: who is your market?

Because I USED TO BE your market...and the things that would've sold ME are:

1. I can quickly be the fastest dude on the planet.
2. Which will be cool.
3. Because I'm getting laid as a result.
4. By the hottest chick in the crowd.

Sorry, but THOSE are the overt benefits from where I'm sitting.

Steve

[WebVanity]

Good looking page - I like it - some criticism here and there though:

"There's No Bigger Satisfaction Than Plugging In, Crankin' The Gain, And Churning Out Sick Metal Riffs - And I'm Here To Show You How"

Like I said before in another thread, try to sell results. I would tell the reader how well / quickly your reader is going get good at playing - this headline pretty much tells them what they already know.

Everything else looks pretty good - 4 out of 5 stars, man.

[Steve Faber]

and you could add "...Faster than you ever though possible!" as a subhead

[JustVisiting]

In the header I would rename "Mailing list" for "Newsletter" or similar.

Then on the Newsletter Page I would throw in a few freebie incentives to encourage sign-ups.