Warriors, this page is converting at 19% opt in, please Help

[BrashImpact]

Warriors,
This landing page for opt in is coverting at 19% on good days,
and 12% on not so good days. I did not make this landing page,
i am only trying to do a few quick tweeks to get it up. Its only
good for a 12 more days then it comes down.

Please take a look and i will be greatful and thank you in advance.

bestlifedesign.com

Thanks
Robert

[Loren Woirhaye]

meh. I read a book Marti contributed to and it was
good...


but...

The idea of these self-proclaimed "experts" offering
to tell me how to live "my best life" leaves me
cold. Very cold.

I would consider that lots of people don't care
to be schooled by a cadre of self-help authors
on how to live correctly. Perhaps the conclusion
I've drawn about it is similar to how your non-
subscribers feel.

[LiamMcIvorMartin]

move the video and the opt in above the fold. Also the header is too complicated, I couldn't figure out where to go. The text is just fine if you're using it to rank for a keyword, but if it's just there for the sake of the opt in, I'd test removing it completely as you want them to stay focused on the vid itself.

[Kevin-VirtualProfitCenter]

You don't mention your source of traffic. Traffic source has a huge impact on conversions. Keep that in mind.

Quick tips:

• As was mentioned above, the video and opt-in needs to be moved further up on the page and your header gets in the way.
• The "promise" of the offer is too broad. You need to make a specific, limited promise that will appeal to your target audience. "Once you listen to this one-hour teleseminar you will suddenly discover how..."
• The page is too long. You want to give just enough info for a "yes", but not enough for a "no." Squeeze page conversions are based on a bold, almost impossible, promise followed by two options--either leave the email address and see if it really IS possible, or leave and never discover the truth.
• The audio on the vid was way too soft for me. I turned it up as high as it would go and I could barely make it out.

[The Copy Nazi]

Yep...way too long for a squeeze. And what's the hook again? Something about a bunch of experts I've never heard of telling me how to live my life. Don't get what Hemingway's daughter is doing amongst that lot but whatever. I get the feeling she's just lending some "credibility". The video is, sorry, a bit hokey. "Welcome to my home"? You mean "Welcome to my kitchen while I try desperately to get you interested in whatever it is I'm pitching". You would have been better off doing a walk-through - show us your fabulous lifestyle. Now...your head -

Attention:
“Discover how to live your best life…
6 world renowned experts share insider
secrets with you…”

The pre-head "Attention" just leave me cold. "Your best life" - too nebulous. What's a "best life"? "6 world-renowned experts"?? hardly. What "insider secrets"? What does that mean? Insider Secrets to having no money but still being deliriously happy? Insider Secrets to having the "best life"? - whatever that is.

"Your home for high-impact living" - what on earth does that mean? You're going to have an impact on world poverty or something?

Buried in the p.s. is a better head -

If you are sick and tired of being sick and tired...

[BrashImpact]

Originally Posted by Loren Woirhaye

meh. I read a book Marti contributed to and it was
good...


but...

The idea of these self-proclaimed "experts" offering
to tell me how to live "my best life" leaves me
cold. Very cold.

I would consider that lots of people don't care
to be schooled by a cadre of self-help authors
on how to live correctly. Perhaps the conclusion
I've drawn about it is similar to how your non-
subscribers feel.

Thank you so much for the feedback...Very appreciated

Originally Posted by LiamMcIvorMartin

move the video and the opt in above the fold. Also the header is too complicated, I couldn't figure out where to go. The text is just fine if you're using it to rank for a keyword, but if it's just there for the sake of the opt in, I'd test removing it completely as you want them to stay focused on the vid itself.

Liam,
thank you making the change now, and see what happens...Thanks for taking the time to valuate this.
Robert

Originally Posted by Kevin-VirtualProfitCenter

You don't mention your source of traffic. Traffic source has a huge impact on conversions. Keep that in mind.

Quick tips:

• As was mentioned above, the video and opt-in needs to be moved further up on the page and your header gets in the way.
• The "promise" of the offer is too broad. You need to make a specific, limited promise that will appeal to your target audience. "Once you listen to this one-hour teleseminar you will suddenly discover how..."
• The page is too long. You want to give just enough info for a "yes", but not enough for a "no." Squeeze page conversions are based on a bold, almost impossible, promise followed by two options--either leave the email address and see if it really IS possible, or leave and never discover the truth.
• The audio on the vid was way too soft for me. I turned it up as high as it would go and I could barely make it out.

Kevin,
Thanks for all the feedback, am taking all the response information in and see what happens after some changes.

Originally Posted by Metronicity

Yep...way too long for a squeeze. And what's the hook again? Something about a bunch of experts I've never heard of telling me how to live my life. Don't get what Hemingway's daughter is doing amongst that lot but whatever. I get the feeling she's just lending some "credibility". The video is, sorry, a bit hokey. "Welcome to my home"? You mean "Welcome to my kitchen while I try desperately to get you interested in whatever it is I'm pitching". You would have been better off doing a walk-through - show us your fabulous lifestyle. Now...your head -

Attention:
“Discover how to live your best life…
6 world renowned experts share insider
secrets with you…”

The pre-head "Attention" just leave me cold. "Your best life" - too nebulous. What's a "best life"? "6 world-renowned experts"?? hardly. What "insider secrets"? What does that mean? Insider Secrets to having no money but still being deliriously happy? Insider Secrets to having the "best life"? - whatever that is.

"Your home for high-impact living" - what on earth does that mean? You're going to have an impact on world poverty or something?

Buried in the p.s. is a better head -

If you are sick and tired of being sick and tired...

Metronicity,
Thank you again, and your right, a better headline is down in the P.S. Section.
Urgg... i got slammed into the middle of this and now cleaning it up.
Thanks a bunch.
Robert

[BigVin]

From a quick glance...

It seems to lack vivid emotional benefits. It seems more technical writing.

But more than that... are you targeting your prospects in the best way?

And the real question is... are you making a profit with the 19% optin rate? (not meant to be answered, but if so then you want to attract as many people as possible that make a profit. Generally speaking you can raise conversion rate by targeting higher quality prospects but as you do the pool of prospects go down.)