My copy sucks, but it made me $1k in 5 days, need your help!

[Chris_Willow]

Hey copy Warriors.

I'm not a copywriter, but I managed to put up a copy, that made me some good money (at least for me) with very small amount of unique visitors. It's located at:
Killer Sales Video- Top Quality Custom Marketing Video, Promotional Video, Video Trailers, Video Tours, Video Testimonials

What do you think about it?

Suggestions are very welcome.

Meanwhile, here is what I'll try to add (tell me if you think it's wrong)

• Opt in (to receive some discount codes and holiday promotions)
• Popup after 30 seconds (aking for optin)
• Exit popup once again asking for optin
• Some form of video salesletter (work in progress)
• Make quotes look better
• Add postit note and handwritten reminder
• Instead of buy now, make "add to cart"

Your suggestions are very very welcome!

Thanks in advance!

Chris Willow

[Loren Woirhaye]

if it's making you money Chris you are doing something
right - perhaps your product is good and people think
it is worth buying?

You could tighten up the language - get rid of some
adjectives and so on - but by and large you seem to
have something that presents your offer clearly.

Clarity these days is crucial. With a lot of IM salesletters
I can't figure out what the hell they are selling. It's
a little tricky to offer more than one product on a
salesletter - too much choice encourages inaction.

I would be cautious about loading it up with gimmicks
like pop-ins. Throwing in every "response boosting"
gimmick can have the opposite effect because readers
feel a little beat-up... so test elements one at a time
and then combine them to find what gets you the most
inquiries.

You should be focusing on generating leads. Get phone
numbers too. As time progresses you'll send links to
new videos you and making and writing "I only have
2 slots available in the next 4 weeks so order your
custom video now."

[Chris_Willow]

Thanks, Loren,

I really like the idea of sending out messages about slots left etc. I think I'll set up the popups and optins just like you said- one by one then see what happens.

Thanks for taking your time to help out, Loren!

Chris

[John Henderson]

I'm not a copywriter, but I liked the page Chris.

I think that you nailed down a problem (crappy online vids) upon which everyone will agree with you. Then you gave a menu of possible solutions to your prospective audience: trailers, templates, tutorials, testimonials... This provided "plenty to choose from".

So, that's my feeling on why this page is doing so well; you've identified a problem that everyone can see, then you've offered solutions that appeal to a wide range of people.

[Chris_Willow]

Thanks for your input, John!
The copy may not be the best, but while the offer is good, it does not matter as much.

In fact I'm really into personal opinions so keep em coming (professional advice is good too )

Chris

[John Henderson]

Originally Posted by Chris_Willow

The copy may not be the best, but while the offer is good, it does not matter as much.

Absolutely true, Chris. Back in the "bronze age" of the web (1996 or 97), I went to a day-long seminar on "How to build a website for your business" . I don't remember a damn thing about that day, apart from one quote that the speaker gave during the morning session: "How many people would be worried about your web site's appearance if it contained this weekend's winning lottery numbers?".

I think that this question is connected to your situation; the problem that your product solves and the plentiful options you offer are so obvious to viewers of your page that perhaps you don't need to bash people over the head with the "hard sell". The product sells itself.

[David Neale]

I think it's very good. The quality of all elements is first class which separates it from most others. By presenting with quality I think it creates trust.

I would change some things like I'd add more space between the headline and the logo and the 1-2-3-4 bullets at the top could use a little more breathing room between them also.

In general I'd loosen up the spacing a bit, create a little more white space.

I have little experience with this style of sales page. I've just been researching them for the last few weeks in detail so my comments are from a web designers view point not an expert sales letter writer.

I think the video tours product is exceptional. Great idea and it's not just a trailer, your actually creating a complete product for your customer which I think has more value.

[Matt James]

Hi Chris,

You should probably do something about your PS.

I scanned straight down to the bottom (as most folks will) and your first PS doesn't really make any sense while the second just make me feel like I'm missing out (where are these discount codes??)

There are a few other things as you know but the offer is a goodie

[Chris_Willow]

Thanks, guys, I really appreciate your input!
I'm going to fix the spelling error now, thanks for pointing that out.

Anyways I'm about to rework the whole thing - make people opt in to see the salesletter (customised with first name etc) to get rid of tire kickers and make it more exclusive.

Now to finish all the videos people have ordered...

Chris

[Lance K]

If your product is Killer Sales Videos that stop visitors in their tracks, suck them in, and converts them into buyers, then why is the bulk of your copy written? Your product lends itself perfectly to demonstration through a "video sales letter" so to speak. You can keep some written copy, but I'd kick it of with one of those KSVs right at the top of your page and set it to autorun.

Also, the bottom reflection effect of your logo is distracting when trying to read your headline.

[Lance K]

Also, you're trying to sell too many things from one page. Give each service/product it's own page. That way if nothing else, you can show people your lower priced services/products when they navigate away without buying. Sort of like an exit pop down sell.

[Paul Coleman]

Some form of video salesletter (work in progress)

Like Lance said, that's the number one thing I would do. Make a direct pitch video -- basically you talking directly to the camera. With, of course, great lighting, sound, etc. And I would put the video right where your first bullet list is, right at the top of the page.

I like what you're doing. Good luck with the project, Paul

[Chris_Willow]

Thanks guys,

I'm finishing my schedule of videos and then making this thig rock with all the video you can possibly imagine

Chris

[Steve Faber]

I read somewhere, I think it was from a fellow warrior that the term "Add to cart" actually tested much better than "buy now" or any other button copy. This is especially true when used on a site like yours that is selling multiple items. It's worked well for me too.

[Rich Currie]

Hey Chris, aside of some small typo stuff, I got to tell you I love the page!

Good luck with it.

[LeapingHorse]

Hey Chris - I'm a little late chiming in but I just saw your site today. I think the videos are doing the selling here - your product looks solid.

Personally I think the font selection is a little off - I would try to add an extra space here and there to break it up a bit more and make it more readable.

Also, I admit I haven't read every word, but I did notice you have "desinged" spelt incorrectily. Do a thourough check to make sure little errors like that aren't anywhere to be seen.

Lastly, I would strongly advise against using the testimonial that has the link to Welcome To Video Ad Gold - Your Traffic Driving And Revenue Creating Future - And That Future Is NOW - I know nothing about the product on the site, but the video being used there looks awful. Poor quality and right at the top of the page. You would hate for people to think that the video there is your work.

[David Raybould]

Hi Chris,

Good job on the copy. I think it's a lot better than you think man.

One little tip for you though - add another PS, and in it, mention your guarantee again.

People may miss the guarantee when they're scanning through, but the PS's will get seen pretty often even by the scanners.

Hope that helps.

David

[Raydal]

What sells your product is the product itself which is demonstrated
quite well, so copy is not going to help you that much, maybe the
words will carry about 10% of the selling weight.

As important as words and copywriting is nothing comes close to a
DEMONSTRATION of the product in use--and that's the clear
advantage you have, especially since the "importance of online videos"
argument has been clearly made already for your target market.

I wouldn't worry too much about the copywriting as I would about
your marketing strategies.

-Ray L.,

[Chris_Willow]

Thanks for the reviews guys. Actually as of december I have a brand new copy up there created by a pro so it doesn't have tu suck that much

Yes, my marketing strategies... Raydal, I guess I know what you mean, but I'm actively working on it.

Thanks

Chris

[Chris_Willow]

Thanks Chief.
I believe it hasn't changed ver much. As per other posters it's the offer what sells. I'll try to change the font and check for some mistakes, but anyways I've got a whole new video project with a new and completely different USP. I'll make sure to put it on here for reviews when it's up.

With this business I'm not getting huge number of clients, but the ones that I have pay well. Others however are more low end customers who usually buy the templates. The new site will be productlaunchvideo.net and I'll try to target some even bigger fishes with it. I like working with a few high paying exclusive projects rather than filling in the templates over and over again.

Thanks for checking by
Chris

[Topgunb]

Looking good, sent you a pm

[OnlineMasterMind]

i think you have a good offer - and i'd communicate that right away with a video (your videos are bad ass by the way)

Make a video that see immediately up top - and have text like "Now you can have a video like this - for a price that will shock you...etc ...etc"

that will spike conversions

[Li Weng]

The only way to measure if the copy sucks or not
is CONVERSION. Copywriting is very practical and
it doesn't matter what theorists say or analyze
according to some copywriting principles, it's really
what WORKS that matters.

By the looks of it, your copy definitely does not suck
because it's converting for you. Any copy that converts
is good copy.