I think my saleletter sucks, what do you think?

[Joseph Then]

I have over 2000+ UNIQUE visitors for the past one month and I got only 2 new sign ups.

That's not even reaching the minimum 1% conversion rate.

The traffic that I drive in is definitely targeted so my best guess is that my salesletter sucks!

Check this salesletter:
Master Resell Rights & Private Label Rights Products

Stinks? Do you think I need to get a new copywriting done?

I tried looking at the whole thing and I thought that I need a good focus, or a good WIIFM approach.

What do you think?

[steve305]

Hi Joseph -

The thing that struck me right off was 'bad mouthing' the competition. That seems to turn everything south right from the get go.

I think accentuating the positive qualities of the products the program offers is the way to go and forget about finding fault with the competition.

[Eric Engel]

Joseph,

As for the formatting, it's kind of all over the place. Lots of font changes, and the design doesn't point me to anything specifically.

The copy itself...pretty much the same thing everyone else is writing.

But I would point out that it sounds like you're selling an instruction manual on how to get the downloads...instead of selling actual access to the downloads. So you are probably losing people just because you're not clear.

I haven't done much with membership sites. I usually stay away from them and I've never tried to market them. But it seems like your form causes the brain to short circuit because of the inconsistencies:



First 5 (on your landing page) then 29 on this page.

Hope this helps.

[Bruce NewMedia]

Hi Joseph, this is just a quick take on your sales page:

Header is nice but competes with much smaller headline.
So, the Head does not jump out at reader like it should.

Says. " famous internet marketer" ...who exactly is that?
If it's YOU, don't you think you need some credentialing to
make a claim like that?

You never even explain what PLR is? If I'm a newer marketer I may not
have a clue.

In the Head you say get $32,000 worth of stuff for price of a cup of coffee.
(not believable at all) too big a claim thats not backed up.

Subhead is weak : references making your internet marketing career come TRUE??? etc. (not a compelling benefit)

When copy starts the first thing you do is claim that 99% of PLR sites should be "ILLEGAL.' ...but you do not ever prove or explain why YOUR site should not also be illegal????
No explanation if you use 'better' writers or pay them more or anything?
Its a claim without anything to substantiate it.

There are instances where your English needs a bit of correction:
"So I embark on a personal mission " doesn't read right for example.
"And There's MORE You'll Benefit!" grammar is wrong.

Anyway, I would actually tone down the graphics a bit and put much work into the copy so it flows more logically. Tell WHY this is a better PLR membership site than all the others - make it really clear.

As far as the traffic being 'qualified', have you ever tried some ADWORDS PPC to see if THAT converts any better?...just as a comparison?

No offense meant on any of this - just some quick suggestions.
_______
Bruce

[rlnorthcutt]

I think the negative spin at the beginning is a turn off. I get what you are trying to do, but you are only associating the negative with yourself!

Also, the site has very little "pop"... it really feels like its just another cookie cutter site. Perhaps working a bit on the flow and getting some good testimonials would be helpful.

You could also put up a video showing a screencast of your site, and going through the pages with ALL of the downloads... that could be powerful. Here is a free screen recording program:
camstudio . org

Its simple, but will do the job! Plus, if you host on youtube or other sites, you might even get a few incoming links...

[Sparklesperson]

Have you tried testing any headline variations?

The whole thing just kind of blurs for me - I don't get how this site is any different from the 2 bazillion others that are selling plr stuff, membership or no, and I need to get that in the headline, the first sentence, the sub heads - everything.

[Joseph Then]

Thanks for all your suggestions guys. I'm getting a copywriter to rewrite the entire salesletter with a specific focus. It should help.

Yes, a video is a good solution to show the 'content' of the website.

[Habitat]

Yeah it needs a little work like the person above you said try not to bad mouth just make valid comparisons showing why your product is superior

[Joseph Then]

Agreed. The copywriter is rewriting for me right now. At the meantime, I've added a short 5min+ video just to show the content.

Let see if that changes anything.

[zapseo]

Yah, I belong to several sites that provide MRR/RR/PLR -- and, while I suspect an occasional bad product makes its way into those sites -- overall I continue to be blown away by what I receive.

So -- trashing other sites doesn't endear you to me.

This headline...

"Veteran Internet Marketer Reveals How to Legally Acquire 800+ Resell Rights Products Valued at Over $32,398.34 For less than a Coffee a Day!"
Seems a bit disengenuous to me -- especially when you say I get 20 products a month. Hmmm...how long do I have to be a member to get 800+ Resell Rights Products. Okay, so maybe that's how many are already there, ready and waiting for me...but in my scan (yes, I scanned) I just saw the 20 products/mo.

Less than a cup of coffee a day? for how long ?
Who valued those products at that price? Why should I believe you?

If you are providing 800 RR products -- how about some names? (oops -- saw a few names -- but certainly not enough.) In fact, MANY successful RR product sites have a "free" option where you get some free products, too, without having to pony up some money. Kinda makes competition a bit stiff for you, eh?

What about the names of the products provided in some immediately preceding months.

As for the negative attack -- while it's possible and maybe even wise to warn people of the dangers of RR products (which you could write up and get your point across by talking about the dangers of RR products, instead of calling out your competitors.)

I think you need to give a reason why you are able to provide so many products at a great price -- you do touch on that, but it seems a tad weak.

You have lots of competitors in this arena -- you need to be able to present why someone should pony up $30/mo to you instead of someone else. (There are some pretty incredible RR deals out there...)

I will say that the fact that your site has been running for a few years is impressive.

Here's another issue though -- we are in a multi-media world. You should be emphasizing that you have products in these different media, and addressing current topics (which could be done by providing a list of products).

Okay. Didn't watch the video. Not a fan of watching sales videos, in general.
Videos have to be done EXTREMELY well for me to care -- too many are poorly done, waste my time and are a little bit too self-absorbed for me. (In fact, on Wilie Crawford's private forum several folks chimed in to say how they don't care for video either. Don't get me wrong. Video CAN be wonderful. But too often it's just simply not.)

Live JoyFully!

Judy Kettenhofen, Profit Strategist/Copywriter
NextDay Copy