Little copy help needed please...

[pede]

Hi...

An older site that I put up on it's own domain about a year ago is now getting some front page results in Goo and Hoo.

I never did any seo on it because it was just something I threw up for a product that I used to sell on eBay.

I have done the basic seo now, except for keyword density.

But it does not convert well.

There are a couple of vids on about 10 video sites and Goo has indexed the seo tagged image.

Is there anyone that might be willing to have a look at the copy and suggest some copy changes?

I did not put any bonuses on the page but I will be doing that tonight when I get in. And probably an OTO.

Thank you tons for your help. I could use a boost from this site, especially right before xmas.

Thank you again,
John

PS - Site is in my sig. eliteipodman.com

[travlinguy]

I have some experience with online wholesalers. Most are not wholesalers at all. Some are BS membership sites. Others are legit, and I use the word legit loosely because you can usually buy their stuff at Wally World or somewhere else cheaper.

If you want to be taken seriously you need to display some popular items (stuff average people would recognize) and show the actual wholesale price. Then you need some copy explaining pretty much what I've said in the first paragraph and also do a good job as to why you're different than the above mentioned knuckleheads. Good Luck!

[pede]

Actually If you read my existing copy, I go into pretty good detail about the scammer wholesalers and middlemen and how to tell the difference between them all.

It is a good idea to put some sample items up with pricing and I will do so.

Thank you for the suggestion.

John

[gcjmarkets]

Hi,
Overall your copy is headed in the right direction for instance your headline is good and your subheaders throughout the copy seem to flow nicely. What it lacks is the basic Attention, Interest, Desire, Action throughout the whole copy. Most people think the headline is the only part of the sales letter that needs to grab attention; this is not true you only have about 10 seconds throughout your entire copy to keep your readers interest. I also didn't see you mention problems in your niche, agitate the problems and then provide a solution. Also you may want to tell a story, this is important because you can use it as your vehicle to present the problem agitate it then show how you can provide the solution.

Hope this helps good luck

[pede]

Thank you...

I will give your suggestions some thought and make some changes in that direction.

Thanks again,
John

[Rob Canyon]

Pede,

Not too sure who your competition is... but I'd suggest your copy reads at
least as good if not better than them...

Also if you're placing high on pages with Google Adwords, you might look at
the guys paying for traffic and then make them tremble at your offer.

Good going on the organic search..

Cheers,

Rob

[pede]

Thanks Rob...

Funny thing is, I did NO seo, just some vid submits.

Now... I've seo'ed the page. (well... except for keyword density)
I'll get to that.

Thanks again,
John