Please review my sales page

Globy · 01-25-2011, 02:34 AM

Hello all,

I am new here, and I really think this forums is a treasure of information.

I have recently launched A new copyright registration service for bands, lyricists, writers etc.

I would appreciate if you could take a look on the link below and give me some feedback.

Copyrightsworld / secure your intellectual property.

Thank you all in advance!
Globy

247Copywriter · 01-25-2011, 02:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Globy

Hello all,

I am new here, and I really think this forums is a treasure of information.

I have recently launched A new copyright registration service for bands, lyricists, writers etc.

I would appreciate if you could take a look on the link below and give me some feedback.

Thank you all in advance!
Globy

After spamming the forum here posting one non sensical remark, one liner comments one after another to get your post count up, insulting other members... I don't think you're going to get many takers from experienced copwriters here to help you.

Globy · 01-25-2011, 02:46 AM

Insulting other member?
What are you talking about? Are you here to make people leave this forum?

Get reasonable and stop seeing imaginary spammers around you.
I am just a forum member (new one) trying to participate with all of you.
If that's not accepted, I will leave. No bad feelings.

But if forums are not for exchanged opinions ( yes, sometimes opinions can be short and valuable), what are for?

Btw. You are spamming my topic.

OutOfThisWord · 01-25-2011, 06:16 AM

The content isn't bad... but the flow is obstructed.

Make it easy for your visitor... the more work they have to do, the less of them will do anything.

Globy · 01-25-2011, 07:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OutOfThisWord

The content isn't bad... but the flow is obstructed.

Make it easy for your visitor... the more work they have to do, the less of them will do anything.

Thank you so much.
Do you mean that it's like no clear call for action?

Globy · 01-25-2011, 03:23 PM

Any more suggestions and reviews would be deeply appreciated.

Collette · 01-26-2011, 12:02 PM

If you're talking to creative people, you're going to need better copy.

The site is written like you're talking to lawyers. Go back to:

This is what we do.
This is why you need it.
This is how we do it for YOU.
This is how you get it.

You also need real testimonials. I don't - not for a second - believe those are real. Given your service, that's an instant deal-killer.

Also, you have typos throughout your copy. Another deal-killer for a business where attention to detail is so important. ("Fist" submission? Good Call to Action for a porn site. For protecting creative work... not so much.)

Globy · 01-26-2011, 05:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Collette

If you're talking to creative people, you're going to need better copy.

The site is written like you're talking to lawyers. Go back to:

This is what we do.
This is why you need it.
This is how we do it for YOU.
This is how you get it.

You also need real testimonials. I don't - not for a second - believe those are real. Given your service, that's an instant deal-killer.

Also, you have typos throughout your copy. Another deal-killer for a business where attention to detail is so important. ("Fist" submission? Good Call to Action for a porn site. For protecting creative work... not so much.)

Thank you so much for your time and review.

I will definately try to find the typos and of course get more to the point.
Why do you think the "try before you buy" is a bad thing for such a service ?

Does this make us look weak or something ?

Thank you for your time

ed22 · 01-26-2011, 09:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Collette

("Fist" submission? Good Call to Action for a porn site. For protecting creative work... not so much.)

Funniest thing I've read in ages!.

Just the tonic after many many hours in front of what my wife now refers to as my 'cracktop'

Collette · 01-27-2011, 11:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Globy

...Why do you think the "try before you buy" is a bad thing for such a service ?

Does this make us look weak or something ?

Thank you for your time

I didn't say anything about your trial offer. Are you sure you're talking to me?

Globy · 01-28-2011, 02:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Collette

I didn't say anything about your trial offer. Are you sure you're talking to me?

Hi collete,

I thought that "("Fist" submission? Good Call to Action for a porn site. For protecting creative work... not so much.)", was a comment on the trial offer. No?

Collette · 01-31-2011, 01:23 PM

Dude.

I am SO not going there.

Teh Google is your friend. Try "fist" + "porn".

And make sure the kiddies aren't in the room.

01-25-2011, 02:34 AM	#1
Globy Digital nomad War Room Member Join Date: Nov 2010 Posts: 27 Thanks: 19 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post	Please review my sales page Hello all, I am new here, and I really think this forums is a treasure of information. I have recently launched A new copyright registration service for bands, lyricists, writers etc. I would appreciate if you could take a look on the link below and give me some feedback. Copyrightsworld / secure your intellectual property. Thank you all in advance! Globy

01-25-2011, 02:46 AM	#3
Globy Digital nomad War Room Member Join Date: Nov 2010 Posts: 27 Thanks: 19 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post	Re: Please review my sales page Insulting other member? What are you talking about? Are you here to make people leave this forum? Get reasonable and stop seeing imaginary spammers around you. I am just a forum member (new one) trying to participate with all of you. If that's not accepted, I will leave. No bad feelings. But if forums are not for exchanged opinions ( yes, sometimes opinions can be short and valuable), what are for? Btw. You are spamming my topic.

01-25-2011, 06:16 AM	#4
OutOfThisWord HyperActive Warrior War Room Member Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: New Orleans Posts: 142 Thanks: 2 Thanked 38 Times in 31 Posts	Re: Please review my sales page The content isn't bad... but the flow is obstructed. Make it easy for your visitor... the more work they have to do, the less of them will do anything.

01-25-2011, 03:23 PM	#6
Globy Digital nomad War Room Member Join Date: Nov 2010 Posts: 27 Thanks: 19 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post	Re: Please review my sales page Any more suggestions and reviews would be deeply appreciated.

01-26-2011, 12:02 PM	#7
Collette Advanced Warrior War Room Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: alicubi super pluvia Posts: 787 Thanks: 242 Thanked 527 Times in 265 Posts	Re: Please review my sales page If you're talking to creative people, you're going to need better copy. The site is written like you're talking to lawyers. Go back to: This is what we do. This is why you need it. This is how we do it for YOU. This is how you get it. You also need real testimonials. I don't - not for a second - believe those are real. Given your service, that's an instant deal-killer. Also, you have typos throughout your copy. Another deal-killer for a business where attention to detail is so important. ("Fist" submission? Good Call to Action for a porn site. For protecting creative work... not so much.)

01-31-2011, 01:23 PM	#12
Collette Advanced Warrior War Room Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: alicubi super pluvia Posts: 787 Thanks: 242 Thanked 527 Times in 265 Posts	Re: Please review my sales page Dude. I am SO not going there. Teh Google is your friend. Try "fist" + "porn". And make sure the kiddies aren't in the room.