Video Sales Letter Critique

[hjalte81]

**** UPDATED VIDEOS: ****

YouTube - part1_yt_only_scribl_3.mp4

YouTube - part2_yt_only_scribl_3.mp4

**** ****

Hi guys...

So, I've made my first video salesletter and is slowly moving towards the launch of my new product...

I was kinda hoping that some of you guys would take a quick peek and give me some honest and constructive critique...

Some little about the product:

Magic Redirect is a software you install on your server, to take core of redirects and tracking.

It can handle several redirects from a single domain and it also creates a tracking ID, based on the referrer and pass that to the salespage / squeeze page.

You can check out the video here:

youtube.com/watch?v=i09MQDSIotQ

youtube.com/watch?v=v6wM0Pbzays

Some additional info:

* The "Add to Cart" button appears after 16 minutes

* There's no controls on the video on the salespage (although I should probably splittest that)

* The video has autoplay

* And I'm not loading the video from youtube (that's only for you guys so you can fast forward, rewind and stuff like that

(I really hope I haven't broke any rules - tried that once before, so no links to the actual salespage

Thanks...

[hjalte81]

Whoops... The video was too long for youtube... Will split it up and try again... sorry

[wcmylife]

For some reason your video is not loading....might want to check and re-post?

[Ross James]

Originally Posted by wcmylife

For some reason your video is not loading....might want to check and re-post?

Might want to check your DSL connection.

Worked fine for me.

Ross

[hjalte81]

Originally Posted by wcmylife

For some reason your video is not loading....might want to check and re-post?

Are you talking about the video on my salespage or the youtube videos here on WF?

[jtunkelo]

I would try getting to the point much, much, much faster. You don't want to have a single slide that's not necessary. It could be a lot tighter.

[hjalte81]

Originally Posted by jtunkelo

I would try getting to the point much, much, much faster. You don't want to have a single slide that's not necessary. It could be a lot tighter.

When you say get to the point, do you mean the offer or are you talking about the "What's wrong and how it can be fixed"?

Thanks...

[hjalte81]

Okay... I'll try to shorten everything down and get to the point much earlier... Thx.

[hjalte81]

I've updated the videos and I get "to the point" faster... I'd love to get more critique.. please

[hjalte81]

Originally Posted by NathanZad

Hi there,

Did you write your sales copy first, and then put it on slides? Or did you write the copy as you were creating the slides? I suspect the latter and I'll tell you why...

You have a great speaking voice and your product is very valuable for the right customer, but they may not make it through this video. The copy takes too long to get to what you want to say.

Example: Right at the start, you say "We have this article and it gets 70% click throughs. Let's call this article A. We also have this article that gets 9% clicks, let's call this article B."

You could say: "Let's pretend we have 2 articles, similar in content. Article A gets 70% click throughs, and Article B gets 9% click throughs."
On your slide could be a static picture of 2 articles, and a caption below each article: "Article A: 70% - Article B: 9%"

That means you could transmit the same amount of information using 1 slide that you are currently using 4 slides for. Plus the audience gets a visual representation, which is what video is all about.

It's so important when doing video sales letters to keep the audience engaged. I have found with my video sales letters that writing the copy first, using good copy technique, helps to keep me focused on delivering a strong message in the least possible time. Then the video just follows the tone of the sales copy.

Hope this helps, man. You're on your way for sure!

Nate

Hi Nate...

Thanks a lot

I guess I did something in between when creating the slides/video...
I had an outline, but made slides along the way... I'll try to follow your suggestions and see how it turn out

By the way, have you seen the second set of videos I made...? I used scriblink.com to explain the stuff about the articles instead of just slides. It makes the video more 'alive'.

Again, thank you very much for your comments...