Tattooholic site sales copy

[Lilwarrior]

I have set up a site and sales copy for Tattooholic Tattoo Designs
and it doesn't convert.

Do you have any specific advice?
I'm not a good copywriter so if a comment isn't very specific, I usually can't implement it successfully

[Collette]

One reason that immediately jumps out at me (after a quick scan of your competitors) is that I can't browse the designs. Tattoo people are visual types. They're going to want to see the goods.

The body copy is ok, but pretty boring. It's not exciting, doesn't get the juices going. Tattoo people mostly like to feel like they're flouting societal norms a little (or a lot). They want to feel daring, different, independent - anything but boring and ordinary.

Your target prospect seems a little fuzzy. Yeah, you're targeting "people looking for tattoo designs" , but what kind of people? What kind of designs? Why those people, and why those kinds of designs? Why does your solution offer the best option over the other (some free) solutions available? Why should they buy your membership instead of getting a single tattoo design for $20 or whatever?

Past that, you need to give more information about stuff like your traffic sources, how long you've had the site up, etc. to get decent advice.

[dorothydot]

Okay, I have a few thoughts for your website...

What are you really selling? In other words, WHY do your customers want a tattoo? Here's a hint: getting a tattoo is not something anyone dreams about. They dream about the admiration that their tattoo will get them; they dream about appealing to the opposite sex via the tattoo. Your customer (female, at least) may well want to get the perfect tattoo that truly expresses their inner self, their desires, their needs and loves.

Your headline must reflect this: Find the Baddest Tattoo That Girls Go Wild Over – Right Here!

That's kind of rough, but you get the drift?

And I'd drop the "Sizzling" – from what I hear, getting a tattoo is more than a little painful. Do not remind your readers of this!

If I was the copywriter, I'd go on to write a scenario about your "typical" customer. Save the "Unlimited Access" list for either a sidebar or farther down the copy.

That's enough for now. Hope it helps!
Dot

[The Copy Nazi]

Originally Posted by Collette

One reason that immediately jumps out at me (after a quick scan of your competitors) is that I can't browse the designs. Tattoo people are visual types. They're going to want to see the goods.

The body copy is ok, but pretty boring. It's not exciting, doesn't get the juices going. Tattoo people mostly like to feel like they're flouting societal norms a little (or a lot). They want to feel daring, different, independent - anything but boring and ordinary.

Your target prospect seems a little fuzzy. Yeah, you're targeting "people looking for tattoo designs" , but what kind of people? What kind of designs? Why those people, and why those kinds of designs? Why does your solution offer the best option over the other (some free) solutions available? Why should they buy your membership instead of getting a single tattoo design for $20 or whatever?

Past that, you need to give more information about stuff like your traffic sources, how long you've had the site up, etc. to get decent advice.

Bingo! You "can't browse the designs". Also there are a lot of free tattoo design collections available online. And you're right about the feel of the page. It's not "out there" at all. Have a look at this. I posted it on a blog of mine years ago and it still gets hits -

"How Much Will It Hurt?"

A Pain-o-Meter




Oh yeah...if you want to see some KILLER TATTOO DESIGNS check out these beauties - http://www.welcometowallyworld.com/q...-of-wrong.html

* you need to replace the asterisks (in the browser) with a four letter word starting with "s" and ending with "t" and meaning "to defecate". (God this place is prudish) I know which one I'm getting for Bruce - can you guess?

[Bruce Wedding]

I did a quick video crit for you:

Tattooholic Crit

I read the other's responses and agree that you need to show more of the designs also. I did not mention it in the crit.

[yukon]

OP, I would change this (Worth $15.95)

To something like this ($15.95 Value), do the same for all the prices.

Also put a lot of small thumbnail images that show the best looking designs.

[Lilwarrior]

You guys are amazing, thank you so much!
I am going over your comments and implementing now,

Bruce Wedding - Thank you so much for the video, it is amazing,
I really appreciate it!

[HiAbby]

Lil Warrior,

I have some insight for you from the point of view of a "tattooholic". Personally, I think you need to re-direct your target audience, or at least define it a little better. I am somewhat heavily tattooed, and have been getting work done since I was 18. All of my tattoos are very artistic, and I have gotten tattoos from artists all around the country. I am going to be totally honest with you, I would never ever find a tattoo online, and neither would anyone I know.

When I decide to get a new tattoo, it's usually an idea I came up with, and thought about for a year or so, I then visit my tattoo artist, or a tattoo artist that was recommended to me by a friend and I tell them my idea, a couple days to a couple weeks later (depending on how busy they are), they call me back and show me a sketch of my idea, if it's perfect, I make an appointment (sometimes up to a year in advance!), or they make edits. This is the process that most all people who get tattoos on a regular basis follow.

People who are heavily tattooed, who have made it somewhat of a lifestyle, believe tattoos to truly be body ART, done by a tattoo ARTIST. People who choose to get tattoos off a website, or walk into a tattoo shop and "pick one off the wall", are greatly mocked in the tattoo community.

BUT that doesn't mean there isn't an audience for your product! There are more people out there who do get small tattoos that a specific artist didn't create such as butterflies, dragons, people's names, childrens' birthdates, chinese symbols etc., than those who pay thousands of dollars to a real tattoo artist to make a custom design.

My suggestion is to target an audience of "newbies" to the tattoo world. People who "Are Looking For Their 'Perfect' First Tattoo". People who don't know about custom tattooing. I guarantee that 95% of the people who will buy this product do not already have a tattoo, and are considering designs for their first.

If I were you, I would research a bit more about the tattoo world. Give information that a newbie would need in getting his/her first tattoo, like: How to Choose the Right Artists, and the right Tattoo Shop. How to Choose Your First Tattoo. You could even go as far as to advise WHAT kind of tattoo to get, and where on the body to place it.

I also agree that there should be some examples of the art that you are selling in your product, maybe make a small gallery that people can browse through. You have to remember that virtually all of these designs are available at any tattoo shop in either a booklet, or on the wall, and ALL tattoo artists will design your tattoo for free- so you have to sell them on WHY they need these designs. Something like "Be Prepared With Your Design in Hand When You Visit the Tattoo Shop"- which isn't true, but people can be scared when getting their first tattoo, and advising that being prepared will make it easier may help.

Anyway, just a little info on the tattoo world. Hope this helps. I'd be glad to answer any questions you have!

[toolmaster]

Originally Posted by Lilwarrior

I have set up a site and sales copy for Tattooholic Tattoo Designs
and it doesn't convert.

Do you have any specific advice?
I'm not a good copywriter so if a comment isn't very specific, I usually can't implement it successfully

I would suggest that you try to capture your visitors contact information so whatever advertising that you're doing isn't going to a total waste.

Offer a few free tattoo designs and suggestions on the top 10 things to beware of when picking a tattoo shop to do their tattoo.

Try constantcontact.com. They have a free 60 or 90 day trial, I can't remember which. Put a sign up form right at the top of the page. Give it a headline that scares the reader. Maybe something like "Pick the wrong tattoo artist and you could lose an arm" or something of that nature.

The goal is to get their name and email so you can soft sell them on your membership over the next week or so.

[AdmiralGloom]

I agree with Abby completely!

I worked in a tattoo shop for a few years and here is what I have learned (and is generally accepted the same from the body modification community).

1. Never use flash, a shop that uses flash has no talent.

2. Tribal, heart, stars, dragons, stars, birds, kanji over played in fact some artists refuse to do them.

An idea, commision real flash artists to make work for you and sell them on commission. We get travelers who sell their pieces at shops and we have bought from them just for art purposes but never for use.

I am not trying to bash your product, just things to think about.

[ewenmack]

Abby reminds us, again, to learn more about your ideal customer,
than about your product.

Best,
Ewen

[Harrisonamy]

I'd want to see the designs, it's such a visual thing, look in any tattoo parlour, you wont' find lengthy articles, but you'll see a ton of past photos.

[Lilwarrior]

Thanks everyone, I have tried implementing most of the changes.

I still don't see a lot of improvement though, I don't know if as some of you said - the problem is with the product itself...

[LTeubl]

You guys realy give some great tips. I will also keep them in mind.